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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To have been angry at this man in the shop today?

112 replies

NeoMaxiZoomDweebie · 04/08/2013 22:40

I genuinely don't know...I was standing looking at something in M&S...moderately busy but not rammed.

Anyway I felt an arm around my waist...it was a man who was wanting to get past and as he was approaching from behind me, that was his way of letting me know...putting his arm around my waist and kind of moving me to one side. Angry

I whirled round and if my eyes could shoot fire I swear they burned him a bit because he kind of stepped back quickly and looked a bit nervous...he said "Sorry!" in a genuinely sorry way...had my two DC not been nearby I would have said "You don't touch women you don't know you knob!"

But as DC were with me, I didn't say anything.

WIBU to be so annoyed? Is it normal to do this when someone's in your way?

OP posts:
WorraLiberty · 04/08/2013 22:41

It wouldn't have bothered me

But it bothered you and that's the main thing

Gruntfuttocks · 04/08/2013 22:42

Not normal, and I would have given him the death-stare too. Damn cheek. YANBU

YouTheCat · 04/08/2013 22:42

Maybe he mistook you for his wife/gf?

RobotHamster · 04/08/2013 22:42

Not normal to do this... Sounds like he got the message though! :)

ourlittlestreet · 04/08/2013 22:42

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

wharrgarbl · 04/08/2013 22:43

I'd have jumped about four feet straight up. No, not appropriate at all.

SPsTotallyMullerFuckingLicious · 04/08/2013 22:43

It wouldn't have bothered me but I'm not you.

Is it because it was a man by any chance?

Miggs28 · 04/08/2013 22:45

that would have definitely bothered me! you have every right to your personal space & a stranger shouldn't be invading that

Original poster
NeoMaxiZoomDweebie · 04/08/2013 22:45

SP yes...the fact that it was a man bothered me. It's my WAIST ffs. That's kind of intimate plus I am very sensitive physically. I wanted to knock him out truth be told. I wouldn't of course but it felt like a liberty.

OP posts:
YoniRanger · 04/08/2013 22:45

I hate strangers touching my waist like this. It a fucking liberty.

RubyGoat · 04/08/2013 22:46

YANBU. a tap on the arm or shoulder, maybe, especially if he had already tried getting your attention verbally. Arm round your waist - not acceptable. Just because it's ok for him, doesn't make it ok for anyone else & it's potentially quite invasive.

I'm sure he didn't mean any harm though, at least he didn't barge you aside like some charming woman did to me & DD today. We nearly ended up under a car.

WorraLiberty · 04/08/2013 22:46

Yes but it would still be your waist if a woman did the same thing?

Original poster
NeoMaxiZoomDweebie · 04/08/2013 22:46

You it's possible I suppose...he was about my age...I was wearing pretty generic clothing too.

OP posts:
SuckAtRelationships · 04/08/2013 22:48

I also wouldn't have been bothered but like the others have said, you were and you have a right to not want someone to touch you. 'Excuse me please' is the norm to me...

Original poster
NeoMaxiZoomDweebie · 04/08/2013 22:49

worra yes I wouldn't like it if a woman did it to me but it wouldn't be SO bad. Women aren't as potentially threatning are they? A man...a large one at that...wrapping his bloody ham arm round my waist when we've never even been introduced...well....had I been wearing pearls I'd have whipped him in the eyes with them. Smile

OP posts:
MissMarplesBloomers · 04/08/2013 22:49

YANBU..... the way M&S lay out their stores it's easy to go round another way if his access was blocked by a pondering woman.

But no.. man wanting to get from A to B ...direct route....squeeze woman to get past.

Silly git.

SPsTotallyMullerFuckingLicious · 04/08/2013 22:50

I have done this before to let people know I am there when out so they don't squish me.

He did apologise.

I have had men do it to me while out in town. The worse was the big guy who just literally picked me up and moved me.

SoleSource · 04/08/2013 22:50

Rude bastard groper or he could have been a sexist pig and was annoyed at moving out of the way for people in a busy area and showed his true colours via his rude actions

YANBU

namechangesforthehardstuff · 04/08/2013 22:51

YANBU but IMO you should have said that to him and let dcs hear you. It's really important that children learn how to tell people not to touch them, and they'll only get that ability from us.

SPsTotallyMullerFuckingLicious · 04/08/2013 22:53

Sole are you actually serious?

Original poster
NeoMaxiZoomDweebie · 04/08/2013 22:55

SP Why wouldn't she be?

OP posts:
SoleSource · 04/08/2013 22:56

What is your point SP?

Xmasbaby11 · 04/08/2013 22:56

I thought that only happened in clubs/bars! Bit cheeky, I wouldn't like it but it wouldn't linger on my mind.

complexnumber · 04/08/2013 22:57

I'm not denying that your experience may have been a shock, and that this particular bloke was entirely innocent.

However, it is not hard to move about a crowded space as a male without possibly causing offence to some stranger.

PresidentServalan · 04/08/2013 22:57

Tbf I see where you are coming from - I hate being touched by people - not because I think everyone is a perv, I just have a thing about personal space and don't like anyone touching me! Men and women do it in shops and it really fucks me off. So no YADNBU!