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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To think that God wouldn't mind DB being gay

103 replies

Thepowerof3 · 03/08/2013 20:47

My DM has found religion in the last couple of years and has become quite vocal on certain issues including gay marriage. My DB is gay and whilst she accepts him she doesn't believe he should be able to marry, even lobbied her local mp to vote against it. I'm no theologist but surely if you believe God created man then he created homosexuals as well as heterosexuals and if not then DB is somehow choosing to be gay?

OP posts:

trixymalixy · 03/08/2013 20:49

YANBU. My mum is a minister and she agrees with you.

LaGuardia · 03/08/2013 20:50

But God didn't create gays. The Devil did according to the bible bashers.

ThisReallyIsNotSPNopeNotAtAll · 03/08/2013 20:50

Its these straight people producing all these gay people.

Original poster

Thepowerof3 · 03/08/2013 20:51

That's v interesting to know as I tried to have the same conversation with her but she wouldn't budge and just put on her 'on a higher plain face' arggh, v frustrating

OP posts:

HollyBerryBush · 03/08/2013 20:51

My gay cousin is getting married next year and absolutely disagrees with gays getting married in church. So figure that one out.

ElectricSoftParade · 03/08/2013 20:51

YANBU at all.

newryan · 03/08/2013 20:53

Your DM can believe what she likes and your DB as an adult can do what he likes, within the law. She can still love and accept him as her son.

Catsize · 03/08/2013 20:55

Naomi and Ruth, David and Jonathan. Big suggestion that these are representative of homosexual relationships in the Bible. Especially the David and Jonathan one. Might give her some solace if she digs out the passages. So as to speak..

Original poster

Thepowerof3 · 03/08/2013 20:58

Just find it fascinating, now I'm wondering if she thinks he was created by the devil and that's why she wouldn't share her view, I hope not!

OP posts:

thebody · 03/08/2013 21:00

being gay is a reality. all religions are unproven fantasies.

still each to their own. she has as much right to belive in what she likes and so does he.

what she/he shouldn't be allowed to do is control others choices/beliefs.

Iheartcrunchiebars · 03/08/2013 21:00

As a Christian I find it unbelievable that people still oppose gay marriage. Two people love each other and want to declare their love in front of God? Good on them. Surely it's everything Christanity is about.

luckyclucky · 03/08/2013 21:02

YANBU, 'my' god is an open-minded, non-judgemental, kind, loving god.

However in our free world other people are equally allowed to worship or adore a god they believe to be a prejudiced, misogynistic, bigoted homophobe & you can choose whether to listen to them or not

ThingsThatGoHumpInTheNight · 03/08/2013 21:05

If ministers do not wish to marry because of their (homophobic) religion fine. However, what I object to is religion assuming it has a monopoly on marriage (and morality,but that's a whole other thread...). In my view marriage is now more of a social institution, a public declaration of love and commitment, not a religious institution. If it is a religious institution, I would rather not be married thanks very much.

Everyone should be allowed to do what they want to do...so long as it does not adversely affect others. And same sex couples being allowed ti marry, rather than enter a civil partnership has no effect on heterosexual couples, or the church.

You Mum us being unreasonable. Religion is not a trump card with no reply.

Ididabravebravething · 03/08/2013 21:05

catsize naomi and ruth? They were MIL and SIL

I don't think so.....

LRDYaDumayuShtoTiKrasiviy · 03/08/2013 21:06

Well, personally, I'm Christian and completely agree with you, as do many religious people of all faiths.

I'm afraid I think your mum's beliefs do not come so much from theology, as from prejudice.

Are you looking for validation that many people would disagree with your mum, or for an argument against what she thinks in the hope of persuading her to accept your brother?

If the latter ... I don't know what might convince her, but for me, learning how the Bible was put together made a huge impact. If you study this, you discover that at all sorts of stages, different groups of people made decisions about what to include in the Bible, and in how to interpret it. Christians of all kinds constantly reject traditional views, and there are no Christian denominations today who accept exactly the earliest recorded versions of Jesus's teachings (because those earliest records were already a long time after Jesus's life). So, to me, it's clear that the Bible is just like history in some ways - you have to understand that people expressed themselves according to the prejudices and priorities of their time. That doesn't mean the Bible is less important, or that it isn't divinely inspired - just that God doesn't patronize us. We've got the skills to judge what is said, and we have free will to choose: we have a duty to consider whether what we're doing is morally right and kind.

ThingsThatGoHumpInTheNight · 03/08/2013 21:06

Sorry, must add, I do not assume all religions are homophobic. Some religious people are (and non religious also)...my statement regarding everyone being able to do what they like as long as there are no adverse effects on others applies to everyone, religious and not. Live and let live.

Ididabravebravething · 03/08/2013 21:07

MIL and DIL sorry (duh)

squoosh · 03/08/2013 21:08

It must be difficult to deal with a parent who finds a zealous faith later in life. My uncle is the same, the Virgin Mary appears at the end of his bed from time to time

Anyway, God loves the gays, she thinks they're great!

Leviticus · 03/08/2013 21:09

I opened this thread thinking David Beckham had turned!

Original poster

Thepowerof3 · 03/08/2013 21:11

I suppose I'm just looking to understand why she interprets it this way with a view to changing her mind. She used to be a real feminist that me and my friends used to look up to but now says things like 'women shouldn't be vicars as they are not best placed to dispense advice' I just don't understand

OP posts:

AMumInScotland · 03/08/2013 21:13

YANBU

God created humanity (or not if you don't think so...)
Some of humanity is gay
Most of humanity do not feel that life-long celibacy is for them
Therefore gay people as well as straight people have sex
Marriage is meant to be the best 'environment' for sexual relationships, as it encourages supportive, monogamous, lifelong relationships (according to most religions and some other people)
Therefore - pretty obvious really - gay people as well as straight people should be encouraged to find someone they want that kind of relationship with, and marry them, if you think marriage is the 'right' place for sex.

Ididabravebravething · 03/08/2013 21:15

I am not a bible basher but I am a christian.

I believe your brother is deeply loved by God.

So much so that he died for him. I believe your brother like everyone else will have done things wrong and needs a saviour.

well.....

You did ask and its good that we can be honest here on MN

Original poster

Thepowerof3 · 03/08/2013 21:18

Definitely, I'd love an interesting debate!

OP posts:

Ididabravebravething · 03/08/2013 21:20

Is your mum a born again christian by the way?

wharrgarbl · 03/08/2013 21:23

But the kind of people who believe this specious nonsense are the same people who insist that people choose to be gay. I have absolutely no idea why, it makes no sense at all to me.

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