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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

TidyDancer's bridezilla thread part 3

1001 replies

TidyDancer · 01/08/2013 17:27

Here you go!

OP posts:
RenterNomad · 07/08/2013 09:48

I agree that the sister doesn't know Tidy and therefore can't badmouth her to all. Even if she didn't "have" to let GZ see the e-mail, any idiot knows that e-mails can be forwarded. Not knowing Tidy, the sister can't predict what she will do: after all, Tidy has plenty of legitimate grounds for grievance, and after all, GZ has gone absolutely nuts, so the people around GlueSis aren't as predictable as she might have hoped.

In addition, this saga has held MN spellbound, and there's absolutely no way of excluding the possibility that GS is reading this. If she is, I feel a bit sorry for her, absolutely bursting to say something to somebody.

You've been amazingly discreet so far, GlueSis - keep your nerve, or your sister will really make you regret it! Smile

Justforlaughs · 07/08/2013 09:51

Well I think GlueSis is a mumsnetter who knows full well that whatever email she sent would be posted on this thread and so has made it as innocuous as possible! Grin
Leave it now tidy and don't reply
(but please sneak round to the venue just before the wedding and posts some photos! Grin)

Trigglesx · 07/08/2013 09:52

Nope, sorry. I don't agree. I love my sisters, although sometimes they can all be pains (as I'm sure they could probably say about me as well), but that doesn't mean that their bridezilla behaviour is acceptable.

Part of being a sister in that situation means keeping the bride grounded. If she is getting so wound up in the wedding stuff that she is hurting people's feelings and trampling all over them, then I feel it's my place to sit them down and say something to them. And it has nothing to do with "solidarity" to refuse to acknowledge that she has behaved badly. I wouldn't walk around discussing it with everyone else, but I WOULD acknowledge it to the injured party and attempt to make amends. I would also tell my sister in no uncertain terms that she needs to grow up. Wedding or no wedding, she needs to be a responsible considerate adult. My sisters would expect it of me, and I would expect it of them.

HorryIsUpduffed · 07/08/2013 09:55

We have no idea what's happening in the GlueHouse though. GS may well be being sensible to GZ every single day but if GZ is in full-on BZ mode there will be only so much she can do or say. She may have GZ in her ear shrieking "WHY HAVEN'T YOU TOLD TIDY HOW SHE'S RUINED MY PWECIOUS PWINCESS DAY?!"

neunundneunzigluftballons · 07/08/2013 10:07

Grin beyoncecastle

LadyClariceCannockMonty · 07/08/2013 10:08

'Dear...

Sorry F. is upset, maybe she can see if some of those who are going to the wedding can help her out?

Good luck.'

I like that. Grin (except I'd say 'If F is upset' not 'Sorry').
Actually, lots of these responses are fab. Tidy, I think you're spoilt for choice!

Trigglesx · 07/08/2013 10:58

She may have GZ in her ear shrieking "WHY HAVEN'T YOU TOLD TIDY HOW SHE'S RUINED MY PWECIOUS PWINCESS DAY?!"

Just about spit my coffee all over my screen on that one. Grin

Honestly, that kind of behaviour would have my sisters sitting me down right quick and saying "You are acting like a child. If this is the way you're going to act, perhaps you need to gain a bit more maturity before you decide to get married." And trust me, that's the sugar coated version (I'm thinking it would actually start with FFS Grow up! Grin)

helenthemadex · 07/08/2013 11:01

it cant end like this please send Ballons reply purely for selfish reasons Grin

I feel like I did after I watched the last episode of Merlin, the ending is all wrong we need a huge apology and lots of grovelling Angry

IKnewHouseworkWasDangerous · 07/08/2013 11:03

Maybe its my job, maybe it is my over cautious nature, but I assume that anything that is put in writting may be seen by the person you would least like it to be seen by.

If I were the sister (I am not) that is exactly what I would have written while simulataniously telling my sister she is an unreasonable twat.

Trigglesx · 07/08/2013 11:04

I feel like I did after I watched the last episode of Merlin

We need an "after" shot of the bride, sitting next to her undecorated hall, wailing and cursing, while we then flash to Tidy walking next to the roadside, having moved on? Grin

Trigglesx · 07/08/2013 11:05

while simulataniously telling my sister she is an unreasonable twat.

There's my sis!! Grin

clam · 07/08/2013 11:51

Agree there is a world of difference between "I'm so sorry about all of this" and "I'm sorry you feel that way," which is what Gluesis wrote.

And neither of them seem to have realised that if at any point they'd said, "Look, you're right, it was unforgiveable not to have invited you but to ask you to decorate. I don't know what came over me, I'm so sorry," you might, just might have reconsidered.

Treaguez · 07/08/2013 13:46

The thing is, all of this could have been handled in quite a few different ways to avoid TidyDancer just being used, right from the STD card. What an arse the bride has been, that she couldn't even fake friendship to get what she wanted. (It sometimes seems to me that fake friendship in return for favours is the currency of our times.)

I disagree that the sister totally gets what's going on: 'I'm sorry you feel that way' is classic 'you are being unreasonable but we'll let that pass for now'.

I totally agree that no reply is necessary. If the bride really is hanging on for you to get back to her, she's even more of an idiot than she's been until now, because you've already said that you won't be doing it several times, and given your reasons at least twice. You really couldn't be clearer!

Treaguez · 07/08/2013 13:48

BTW TidyDancer I would love to know if you're in touch with any of the other 20 people who didn't get the magic invitation after getting the STD card. Has any of them been asked to work for free after being snubbed?

waltermittymissus · 07/08/2013 14:42

Oh ffs they're unbelievable!

Hi Gluesis,

Glad that's sorted. Enjoy your day.

Let's leave it there,

Tidy

PedantMarina · 07/08/2013 16:58

Agree no answer needed, but if you wanted to:

"No means No, as it did the last [five?] times I've said so, over the past [three?] weeks."

CoffeeOne · 07/08/2013 17:08

I agree that it's best not to reply at all.

She has no right to be upset. Even if she hadn't sent a save the date card you are still under no obligation to give up a whole day doing a job that most people would either do themselves or pay for. Leave them to it now and stay well clear.

claudedebussy · 07/08/2013 17:30

i think now that gluezilla never had any intention of inviting tidy, just wanted her to save the date so she could decorate the venue. in her mind it was a done deal.

violetbean · 07/08/2013 17:38

Love this thread and particularly Tidy's fantastically measured responses.

Some of you asked why GlueSis / bride aren't doing the decorations themselves. I have no idea if this is the case for them but for our wedding the venue was only available to decorate from 11.30am on the morning of the wedding, as they had a morning event in the same reception room that couldn't be moved. The ceremony started at 1pm across town so we weren't able to sort out the room ourselves (nor ask guests to) but we just hired in some decorators who set out the tables really nicely ready for the reception. I guess if Gluezilla is in a similar situation she might be trying to avoid the cost? (most unreasonably, I might add, especially considering the STD fiasco!)

I agree with those who say no response necessary. Ooh and the Sylvanian flashmob is the best idea ever! Grin

TidyDancer · 07/08/2013 18:36

Evening all! Grin

I'm not sure who the rest of the uninvited 20 are, I just know there are 20 of us. The friend of mine who was upset in the beginning hasn't spoken to the bride for a while so hasn't been asked to help. It would be interesting to hear from any of the others, definitely!

I haven't replied yet, I'm still undecided whether a response would be for the best or not!

OP posts:
diddl · 07/08/2013 18:40

Ooh go on, respond!

You know that we you want to!Grin

notallytuts · 07/08/2013 18:43

Been lurking for 3 threads! I'd say don't reply. If you reaally want to, i like the suggestion of

Glad you understand, maybe next time x Grin

MintyChops · 07/08/2013 18:44

Yes yes, please respond, I know it will help am compulsive liar

georgedawes · 07/08/2013 18:47

You don't need to respond, they will definitely be in touch again, I'd put money on it.

KeatsiePie · 07/08/2013 18:48

Ooh notallytuts, that one's outstanding.

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