To think you don't need 4 eggs and 7 slices of ham to make an omelette for one person???

[PenguinBear]

This seems excessive to me... No-one needs that much in one omelette... Surely 2 eggs and 2 slices of ham would be fine?

I'm sorry I only read page 1 before posting, very basic error - just read more - thought this was lighthearted.

If I buy less meat he won't eat it and spend the next week's budget on more food. This way I can ensure I can feed the DC. I'm not refusing to spend more on food, there is no money and I've already explained I'm working on being able to earn more.

I've already apolodised, until you pointed it out I'd no idea I was being abusive to my DH I'll now be making an effort to change.

" He refuses vegetarian meals and wants a lot of meat each time. Personally I'm perfectly happy to bulk with pasta and rice and cook veggie meals"

I think that's the point where this becomes selfishness - there would be enough food for no-one to go hungry if he were a little more flexible about what form his calories came in.

Well then you take the same approach you do with a child and tell him that if he won't eat what's there he doesn't eat at all. Or give him his quarter of the food budget and tell him to sort himself out. Or buy cheaper meat. Get the frozen stuff from farmfoods.

Grumpyoldbat I am not going to engage in this any more because the only answer you will give is another excuse or reason why you must make your husband go hungry. You have decided this is what you want to do and you only want validation that you are right to do so. No matter what suggestions are made you will always come up with some sticking point so the only possible answer that can be given is 'Yes, let your husband go hungry'. You've already decided that's what you're going to do so just go ahead and do it. No amount of suggestions of ways around this would help you. I suspect if you won the lottery tomorrow you'd still be determined to do it. So go ahead, knock yourself out. I still don't agree it is right.

How the fucking hell is him eating 4770 calories in one day him going hungry? Where the actual fuck I've I said I want him to bloody well go hungry. When he complains I say 'here have some of mine, I'm fine' and give him some of mine. How the actual fuck am I trying to make him go hungry.

Bridget- you are obviously reading a completely different thread to me. On the one I'm on, your posts appear completely ridiculous.

BridgetBidet, the only person going hungry in the grumpyoldbat house is... grumpyoldbat.

I realise you're angry about what's happened to you, but that's not her fault, and you're being really cruel to her.

What she actually needs is the confidence to stand up to her husband and say, 'there isn't enough money to feed you huge amounts of meat every day, and it needs to stop because I'm bloody hungry.' And berating her for her (fictional) evil husband-starving plans really isn't the way to give her that confidence. Dontcha think?

I think, Bridget, that you have badly misinterpreted Grumpy's posts, and you should have the grace to admit that and apologise. You are clearly projecting your own issues and that's not fair. Come on.

Because he is not overweight. He obviously needs that amount of calories. If he is not overweight but can eat that amount of calories per day then he is doing something strenuous enough to need that amount of calories. Ergo he will be going hungry if he doesn't get the amount of calories he burns off back.

If he's not burning it off then either he has some kind of illness or alternatively he isn't eating anything like that amount of calories.

And the problem is BoulevardofBrokenSleep that if you say to grumpyoldbat 'Just tell your husband he needs to eat less meat', she will come out with a litany of reasons why she can't do this and just come back to the fact that she has decided to ration his food whether he is hungry or not. That is the only answer she will accept. She's already said that she won't buy less meat or buy alternatives to meat.

I really don't want to starve anyone. I want to swap chicken curry for lentil curry occasionally, or half the amount of chicken in the fajitas bulking it up with veg. I'm not talking about banning meat just cutting back some days.

I'm not trying to fuvking well cut back on his fucking calories. I've apolised, apologised and a-fuckingpologised. What more do you fucking want.

"That is the only answer she will accept. She's already said that she won't buy less meat or buy alternatives to meat."

No. She has said that she would like to do this, but her partner refuses to eat food with alternatives to meat in it. You might like to read the thread?

Seven slices of ham is mad. But eggs don't seem to go very far in omelettes. Three eggs should be plenty for a decent omelette.

She hasn't decided to ration his food bridget, she is rationing hers in order to feed him. The only one compromising is her. He won't eat less meat and more carbs/veg in order to allow her enough to eat whilst still filling himself so she goes hungry. I fail to see how you consider that abusive on her part.

Bridget you are projecting. Sorry you have had a crap time in the past but grumpyoldbat is not the abuser in this scenario.

" she has decided to ration his food"

Where did she say that?

All I see upthread is her justifying why she feeds her husband more than herself.

(Sorry to talk about you in the third person, grumpyoldbat, but I am getting highly indignant on your behalf!)

I have a great way for you to not have to deal with this persons' selfishness anymore, grumpy, since apparently you are the one working, too. Show him the door and he can find out how much meat he can buy on £71/week JSA.

Because it's not about his 'going hungry'. FFS, Andy Murray eats that amount of calories that day. People climbing in the Death Zone need that number of calories. People on chemotherapy need that amount of calories. A normal person doesn't. That is a huge amount!

Being in a family is about compromise and doing what is best for everyone, including sometimes diet modifications like using more pulses and veg in place of meat where possible due to financial restrictions.

Stop looking for ways that you can earn more money to go hungry and start looking for ways to get this selfish person who refuses to compromise out of your life.

Brigit- it would be good of you to come back and admit you were wrong -otherwise grumpy might be worrying about what you said about her. And I'm sure you don't want that, do you?

bridgetbidet, you are really getting this very wrong. This poor lady is giving her food off her own plate to her dh, who has a bigger meal in the first place. grumpy is not the op and even if she was there is no need for your horrible attitude to her situation please re read and see you are wrong.
grumpy i really really hope things improve soon and i am so sorry you are in this situation. I also think your dh needs to be more open to filling alternatives, and i also dont think that my dp would take my food if he was aware of how little i had had in comparison to start with. I dont like the sound of how you are feeling about this situation and i feel very worried about you. Please know that everyone bar one are on your side as this sounds a very unfair situation and you sound wonderful.

I am usually a lurker but this has drawn me out to respond as i am so upset on grumpys behalf.

Bridget you should be ashamed of yourself. Grumpy has now started another thread where she is castigating herself for being abusive to her DH and asking how she can make it up to him.

skylerwhite, I am not surprised at that as she is clearly on the edge here, this has made me very sad, and concerned. People need to be more kind i think, and get a feel for the tone of someone posting on the bloody edge.

wow makes the 7 slices of ham seem a distant memory ...

Okaaaaay....