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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think PIL are being a bit ridiculous re separate rooms?

113 replies

Irishchic · 31/07/2013 22:20

My dh's brother is 41 years old. He has been with his partner for 6 years and they have a year old dd. He lives in London, (we are in Ireland) yet whenever he comes home to visit his parets, he and his partner are not allowed share a room.

mY MIL's brother is visiting them at the moment. He is in his 60's and divorced this last 5 years. He has a partner of around 2 or 3 years standing now. They also have separate rooms in the house, even though they live togethe as a couple.

AIBU to think this is ridiclous? If bro in law was like, 18 or 19, i could maybe see what their point was, but now, as a grown man, it just seems a bit daft to me.

Am prepared for the flaming for being intolerant.

OP posts:
Greythorne · 31/07/2013 22:21

Ridiculous.

Bakingtins · 31/07/2013 22:22

Their house, their rules? though it does seem a bit daft.

Whothefuckfarted · 31/07/2013 22:22

I think it's ridiculous. But I guess their home, their rules.

If it were me visiting I'd book a B&B close by instead of being treated like a naughty teenager...

maternitart · 31/07/2013 22:22

They are being ridiculous but they must have v strong religious views to impose such rules, I assume?

StarsAboveYou · 31/07/2013 22:23

It does seem ridiculous but in their house its their rules which stand and I suppose if they don't like it they could stay in a hotel nearby instead.

KatAndKit · 31/07/2013 22:23

Totally ridiculous especially as they have a child. I would stay in a hotel instead if my parents were like that about me and my family. Their house their rules of course but i would be offended personally

SanityClause · 31/07/2013 22:24

My parents would do this.

paperclipsarebetterthanstaples · 31/07/2013 22:25

Their house, their rules. If people don't like them they can use hotels

hamab · 31/07/2013 22:26

I'm amazed they want to stay there! I'd go for the b and b too. What will the dc think as they get a bit older?

kinkyfuckery · 31/07/2013 22:26

Do you think the issue is that they aren't married? What was the situation with your MILs brother when he and his wife would come to stay?

Sleepyhead33 · 31/07/2013 22:27

Madness...but I wouldn't put up with it. Definitely book a b&b and explain why they are choosing that over staying with family.

makingdoo · 31/07/2013 22:28

Totally ridiculous but their house their rules.

I have lots if aunts here in Ireland who would probably do the same. My cousins and I always stay in B&Bs for family gatherings for this reason.

joanofarchitrave · 31/07/2013 22:28

Ridiculous.

I have a slight problem with the very young (like, under 18) being allowed to share rooms, but once a person is an adult...

I think a gentle 'Lovely to see you but I think next time we will stay elsewhere and visit' would be well called for.

pigletmania · 31/07/2013 22:28

Bloody stupid, they are not kids!

scarlettsmummy2 · 31/07/2013 22:29

All that catholic repression. Quite amusing actually

Bragadocia · 31/07/2013 22:32

Would anyone think, "their house, their rules" if the couple in question were married and not allowed to share?

TallyGrenshall · 31/07/2013 22:33

My mother insisted, many years ago, that my sister slept in my room whilst her then partner slept downstairs. My sister was about 7 months pregnant at the time. I don't know if my mother was relying on creaky stairs as an early alarm system or expecting 7 year old me to defend my sisters long gone virginity Grin

It's their house etc but there comes a point where it's just daft

minitoot · 31/07/2013 22:34

ridiculous, but they'll never change so I suppose you just have to put up with it.

Xmasbaby11 · 31/07/2013 22:34

Ridiculous.

Original poster
Irishchic · 31/07/2013 22:35

My MIL would not object, but my FIL wont allow it.

BIL, his partner and their dd stay with us when they come home. We live around 5 mins from PIL. PIL know they do not have separate rooms here but as it is not undertheir nose they do not have to object.

BIL and his partner are expecting dd2. This will not go down well.

I think it is daft, and sad, as it means PIL get to spend less time with their little granddaughter.

OP posts:
diddl · 31/07/2013 22:39

If they don't want unmarried couples sleeping together/having sex in their house I don't see why they should be ridiculed for it tbh.

danceponydance · 31/07/2013 22:39

An ex boyfriend's sister had to move her fiancé into the spare room of the house they owned and lived in together when her parents came to visit or stay. It's fair enough having strong religious views but you do need to be realistic about other peoples views and how they live their lives as well.

Ethlinn · 31/07/2013 22:40

Totally ridiculous. Although my parents are exactly the same. Ridiculously conservative. My OH is the first guy allowed to share the room (and bed) with me when we're there. And it's probably only because we have DS now, so pretending I am completely innocent makes no sense Grin.

HeartsTrumpDiamonds · 31/07/2013 22:45

Huh. Bit odd. FIL must have very strong views indeed.

Is BIL revolting against a very strict Catholic upbringing by not marrying his partner?

Thank goodness no one is gay in that family. Oh hang on, the Pope said being gay is ok now didn't he?

HeartsTrumpDiamonds · 31/07/2013 22:46

Forgot to add the Grin