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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to feel a bit uneasy with my husband being naked in front of DD (10)?

69 replies

prettybutclumpy · 31/07/2013 17:07

I am probably being silly, but recently I have become a bit more sensitive to seeing my husband being naked in the company of my daughter, just while he's getting dressed in the morning for example. The other day when on hols he was lounging around in his pants, and we both got a lovely view of hairy bollocks! It doesn't seem to bother her, but I don't really remember seeing this from her age upwards, as my parents were quite square about these things. She is definitely in puberty now, but I don't really know if that's relevant. AIBU?

OP posts:
valiumredhead · 31/07/2013 17:12

If she isn't bothered don't give it another thought. This is her dad who has loved and cared for get since she was a tiny dot not some random bollock flashing pervertWink

valiumredhead · 31/07/2013 17:12

Her not get

Marcheline · 31/07/2013 17:13

I don't think it's a problem at all.

I think it's more of a problem for you to take issue with it, to be honest.

ProudNeathGirl · 31/07/2013 17:13

Agree with Valium. She'll get embarrassed eventually, even if he doesn't.

ImperialBlether · 31/07/2013 17:14

Is he her father?

DragonsAreReal · 31/07/2013 17:14

agree with valium

kinkyfuckery · 31/07/2013 17:14

If they are both comfortable about it, what's the issue?

frogwatcher42 · 31/07/2013 17:15

My dds are older than yours and they see dh naked a lot! If they didn't their first view of a man would be mighty scary as no brothers!!!

I don't see it as a problem - I see it as healthy.

Marcheline · 31/07/2013 17:15

For some reason though, now I think about it, I'd rather DH walk around naked than flash a bollock while sittig in the sofa.

That's probably just me being odd, though. I feel that there's somethig a bit gross about an escaped testicle, as opposed to everything being intentionally 'out'. If thy makes sense?

GhostsInSnow · 31/07/2013 17:16

Don't see the issue. OH still wanders from bedroom to bathroom naked and DD is 15. She's not embarrassed and neither is he. Make an issue of it and it will probably become one.

StepAwayFromTheEcclesCakes · 31/07/2013 17:16

don't worry until she does. Don't make DH feel like a pervert by mentioning it or it will change the easygoing nature of their relationship. she will soon let you both know when she is uncomfortable. I clearly remember my Ds recoiling in horror when he saw me naked when he was about 14, we had never really flaunted but never really covered up either IYSWIM but the look on his face assured me that I needed to be more careful in future Grin

exoticfruits · 31/07/2013 17:16

I can't see the problem-and agree that she will stop when it embarrasses her.

StepAwayFromTheEcclesCakes · 31/07/2013 17:18

imperial op says her dh and their daughter so probably is

LeoandBoosmum · 31/07/2013 17:18

Personally, I think dad needs to be more discreet. Seeing dad in a pair of undies or with his shirt off is a bit different from seeing his hairy bollocks, don't you think? Your daughter should be learning - especially at this age - that bodies are private (not to be stuffy about it).
Sometimes you can't really explain why something is not right, it's more of a feeling. I can see where Valium is coming from but I don't agree.
How do you FEEL at gut level about it? How does your husband feel?
I'm not sure it makes a difference that your husband is her daughter's father (my opinion) It just doesn't sit well with me for any ten year old girl to see a man's private parts. Would it be okay, for example, if your friend's ten year old female friend came around for tea and got a nice eyeful of your hubby's bits?

Rummikub · 31/07/2013 17:20

Agree with others, as long as your daughter is ok with it. I'm sure she'll say when it bothers her.

Does your dd see you naked?

Thisisaeuphemism · 31/07/2013 17:20

My old dad does the bollock flashing thing- if my teen neices catch him they howl in horror and chuck cushions at him.

It doesn't make us uneasy but it does make us go ewwwww

stickingattwo · 31/07/2013 17:20

dont see the problem. both my parents were of the nude when appropriate variety - in bathroom, getting changed etc not a big deal When I got older - like teenage older- my dad was a bit more discreet.
Wouldn't worry about it, if it doesnt bother them.which it shouldnt.

Secretswitch · 31/07/2013 17:21

Are we speaking about a stepfather or bio dad? My husband, stepfather to my oldest dd, is very careful to be fully covered in her presence. He even wears shorts to bed, as my children have a habit of wandering in late at night for a chat. My husband has been stepfather to dd since she was 7 years old. He is very sensitive to dressing appropriately around her.
I would be uncomfortable with my child viewing my dp's penis or testicles.

NeoMaxiZoomDweebie · 31/07/2013 17:21

I thought about this a week or so ago and then dismissed it. I think it's great that we in the UK are becoming more like the Scandinavians regarding nudity. It's FAR healthier for girls to have the mystery of the male body unveiled early on and for boys too to have the female body de-mystified.

I was SO shocked when I first saw a naked man! At least our Dds wont be!

Flobbadobs · 31/07/2013 17:21

If she's uncomfortable with it she will let him know... They're not usually backwards at coming forwards at that age!

NeoMaxiZoomDweebie · 31/07/2013 17:22

Secret would you really? Perhaps it's because your DD was older when he came into her life?

Ezio · 31/07/2013 17:22

I stroll around naked in front off DD all the time, i dont want her to have an hang ups about her body, its not a dirty thing.

When your DD starts getting embarrassed tell your DH to cover up, til then no issue.

squoosh · 31/07/2013 17:23

Unless she has a problem there is no problem.

saintmerryweather · 31/07/2013 17:23

i wouldnt have wanted to see my dad naked when i was 10 and he wouldnt have done it.

GhostsInSnow · 31/07/2013 17:26

On the subject of bollocks...true story.

I'd realised pretty late one evening that I'd forgotten to send DH into the loft for something I needed the next day. He was just getting ready for bed and was only wearing his boxers. This particular pair were quite old and tatty.
He decides he can get into the loft by balancing on the bannister and so there he is, 6ft up, legs akimbo feeling around the loft entrance for the thing I needed.
His boxers however had a hole. A perfectly placed hole meaning that both balls had escaped and were hanging free of the material. I was howling with laughter, DH obviously had no idea of the view I had and never one to miss an opportunity to traumatise the kids I called them both out to see the spectacle.

In the end me, DS and DD were rolling around on the landing laughing whilst poor DH thought we'd gone nuts (scuse the pun). Kids made him swear never to go into the loft without some form of trousers again.