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AIBU?

To have left them all to go and get something to eat?

272 replies

DfanjoUnchained · 30/07/2013 21:01

In short:

Dp's mother and sister come over at 3pm, still sitting around at 7.30pm but don't want to eat.

I'm starving, having a very painful and heavy period (sorry) and ds (7months) needs to eat too. I didnt have lunch either as ds teething and v difficult at the moment.

Dp was meant to cook or get food; he did neither. It got to half 7 and I couldn't wait any longer and said I needed to eat something as was feeling unwell. I asked what they all wanted to do and they said they would eat at home, fine.

I said goodbye to mil and sil and said sorry, ive really got to go, feeling unwell etc hope you dont mind, they said no go its fine. I left with ds and ate out.
When I get back they're gone and P is really angry, says my attitude was terrible and I shouldn't have 'stormed out'.

Apparent SIL feels unwelcome now and I need to apologise if I want any kind of friendship with her. Was I meant to sit there and starve before another night of no sleep due to teething baby and horrible period pains??

Tbh I'm so annoyed at him for not supporting me, he knew I was feeling like shit and didnt support me.

OP posts:

Report

ChasedByBees · 30/07/2013 22:07

YANBU. Your DP was being very rude for not getting food and not putting you first in your home. Your ILs were being rude for obviously out staying your welcome. And now he thinks you should apologise to them? No.

MurderOfGoths · 30/07/2013 22:07

"YABU. I would always have something in the house for my DC"

Have gold star.

Hmm, would it be wrong of me to say FCEK off?

sorry MNHQ

Hegsy · 30/07/2013 22:08

Op YANBU and have way more patience than me I'd have told them to F off. As for those saying why didn't you go buy food and come home and cook WTF? At half 7 at night I'd be going out or getting a takeaway but if my in laws didn't look to be moving I wouldn't want to eat in front of them but maybe I'm weird?

maja00 · 30/07/2013 22:09

FCEK - the OP has these amazing things called breasts - hence always having something in for the baby.

formicadinosaur · 30/07/2013 22:09

How funny - emergency plan!!! My emergency plan is some baked beans 50% of the time but I'd be buggered if I could find a potato to serve it with and I think any adult guest would run off if I offered 25 baked beans as a main evening meal. Actually I may also have a tin of pilchards also. Would a few cubes of jelly suffice as pud?

Forgetfulmog · 30/07/2013 22:09

Mamij - a baby's main source of food at 7 months would be BM. I think the OP meant she was BF as opposed to FF & therefore needed the calories

DfanjoUnchained · 30/07/2013 22:10

Didn't want to get takeaway as ds couldn't have had any then. Not ebf, sorry just bf but still mostly on milk but he does want solids in the evening.

I don't know why I took him too, I guess in my head I was thinking I'm hungry, ds is too so I went to get food! I wasn't thinking too straight, having to entertain them all and ds on top of no food since breakfast, heavy period, no sleep, tetthing baby and bf - I think I'm entitled to feel a little bit frazzled

OP posts:

EvieanneVolvic · 30/07/2013 22:10

Fakebook, you're always quite rude on threads, maybe you should get a plan for that? You must be unhappy. But at least you have bountiful amounts of food in your larder, hey.

Brilliant comeback Dfanjo! I was feeling sorry for you but you are one kickass lady, good on ya.

Get the rest and food you need, stay at your mum's for a break and then put your P straight. He drastically needs to shape up. It occurs to me, might he have been exaggerating what his M and S said to ease his (justifiable) guilt about not having delivered on the food front as he had promised?

And I also really cannot believe the attention being given to the bareness of the cupboards. Even without the justification of a) it being shopping day and b) am move is imminent, that is hardly the hot issue here.

Take care!

Crumbledwalnuts · 30/07/2013 22:12

Quick comment: re heavy periods, why don't you have a vit tablet or floradix or something every month. You could be mildly anaemic.

DfanjoUnchained · 30/07/2013 22:14

It occurs to me, might he have been exaggerating what his M and S said to ease his (justifiable) guilt about not having delivered on the food front as he had promised?

Very good point. I'm going to call his sister tomorrow and talk. I have her a kiss goodbye and explained why I was leaving, she seemed fine and we are very close so I was surprised to hear that she said she didn't feel welcome

OP posts:

Fakebook · 30/07/2013 22:14

My point is, you had guests and you and your DH can't work together to rustle up something between yourselves...even a take away? Doesn't take 2 mins to phone up and order. I don't understand why you sat from 3pm to 7.30pm without thinking about food. As for ebf, I did it too. Twice. I wouldn't have let myself starve just because my DH was being lazy and not making/getting food.

I'll let that other comment go. , although I should report it.

Crumbledwalnuts · 30/07/2013 22:15

oh tais-toi

MurderOfGoths · 30/07/2013 22:17

"My point is, you had guests and you and your DH can't work together to rustle up something between yourselves...even a take away?"

The OP did go and sort food out.

mamij · 30/07/2013 22:17

Thanks. Hope your belly is full now and you get some rest tonight. Your DP needs to make it up to you with a nice home cooked meal tomorrow.

maja00 · 30/07/2013 22:19

The guests didn't want food, the baby couldn't have eaten takeaway - going out for food seems sensible to me.

EvieanneVolvic · 30/07/2013 22:20

Fakebook: I think you know that reporting Django's highly justified and provoked retort (which was far more measured than mine would have been) would only make you look rather silly.

I will see Grumbled's tais toi (which I assume was addressed to your good self) and raise her a ferme-la!

Crumbledwalnuts · 30/07/2013 22:22

Certainly was volvic

MurderOfGoths · 30/07/2013 22:23

Anyone else hungry after reading this thread? And I haven't gone shopping yet either.. damn..

hobnobsaremyfavourite · 30/07/2013 22:23

Ha ha fakebook it seems you can dish but you can't take. "....although I should report it". God grow up.
OP I have rarerly seen such a pile if nitpicking twatwankery. Please ignore them. YANBU

Fakebook · 30/07/2013 22:24

The OP asked if she was being unreasonable. I think she was. If she wants cuddles and hugs for ebf and needing calories and support she needs to talk to her DH, who obviously can't work with her to sort out food for themselves and potential guests.

MurderOfGoths · 30/07/2013 22:25

So it's the OP's fault that her DH didn't do what he said he would??

Tryharder · 30/07/2013 22:25

You had nothing to eat in the house - shit happens - so you had three choices - 1) get a takeaway or 2) eat out or 3) buy something to eat from supermarket and cook it at home.

I dont see a problem. Why would your inlaws be offended at you? Is it because you ate out or did they not want you to eat at all whilst they were there?

How odd. So often these days I read the most bizarre threads on mumsnet and think that some people (i.e your inlaws) spend their lives going around being annoyed and pissed off by trivia.

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hobnobsaremyfavourite · 30/07/2013 22:25

Do you know I really hate it when posters pretend they are forthright and "saying it like it is" when really they are just being rude twats.

EvieanneVolvic · 30/07/2013 22:26

The OP asked if she was being unreasonable. I think she was.

Fair enough, but the whole tone of your response was very Margo Leadbetter and seemed designed to make her feel even worse.

Snazzyenjoyingsummer · 30/07/2013 22:32

I don't understand why people find the lack of food in the house strange either. Obviously there are many people who are much more organised than me and the OP, but I'm sure there are plenty in our camp either.

Is this an isolated incident, OP, or part of a pattern?

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