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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To have left them all to go and get something to eat?

272 replies

DfanjoUnchained · 30/07/2013 21:01

In short:

Dp's mother and sister come over at 3pm, still sitting around at 7.30pm but don't want to eat.

I'm starving, having a very painful and heavy period (sorry) and ds (7months) needs to eat too. I didnt have lunch either as ds teething and v difficult at the moment.

Dp was meant to cook or get food; he did neither. It got to half 7 and I couldn't wait any longer and said I needed to eat something as was feeling unwell. I asked what they all wanted to do and they said they would eat at home, fine.

I said goodbye to mil and sil and said sorry, ive really got to go, feeling unwell etc hope you dont mind, they said no go its fine. I left with ds and ate out.
When I get back they're gone and P is really angry, says my attitude was terrible and I shouldn't have 'stormed out'.

Apparent SIL feels unwelcome now Confused and I need to apologise if I want any kind of friendship with her. Was I meant to sit there and starve before another night of no sleep due to teething baby and horrible period pains??

Tbh I'm so annoyed at him for not supporting me, he knew I was feeling like shit and didnt support me.

OP posts:
Crumbledwalnuts · 30/07/2013 21:15

Dfanjo: how great do you feel about yourself now that all these posters have had a go at you ? So much better for posting on mumsnet for a bit of support ? It's like a collective gathering of snipey MILS.

littlewhitebag · 30/07/2013 21:16

I can't imagine a house with no food; no food at all? No bread, cereal, crackers, cheese, ham, pasta and jars of sauce?? Frozen stuff?

Crumbledwalnuts · 30/07/2013 21:16

Lol as opposed to an unconnected gathering.

I'm sure you're in the right. Don't doubt yourself. :)

Original poster
DfanjoUnchained · 30/07/2013 21:16

Yes walnuts exactly. Feel like shit tbh but guess I wbu

OP posts:
Forgetfulmog · 30/07/2013 21:17

Christ do people like this really exist?? Op your P is a twat, apologies for the term, but can't think of a nicer way to put it. My dd was in bed by 6 at 7 mo, can't believe he was expected to not have food just because your P's family was there?!

Pagwatch · 30/07/2013 21:19

I haven't had a go at the op.
I don't understand is all. It's a weird scenario.

But tbh I am pretty staggered that someone casually drops 'fucking retard' into a thread and no one bats an eyelid.

Original poster
DfanjoUnchained · 30/07/2013 21:19

I have cous cous but no veg to do with it. Some supernoodles, beans, lentils. Freezer is bare as we're moving soon so I cleared it out as most stuff was old. Used all the frozen chips the other day

OP posts:
Crumbledwalnuts · 30/07/2013 21:20

No you weren't unreasonable dfanjo. You needed a proper meal, you expected your partner to come home with food because he said he would, you were sick, and faint, because you needed to eat a decent meal and not crackers and cheese. You did the right thing and they were horrid. What a shame people here are being critical. It's the last thing you need. Sometimes with a baby things get on top of you. It's not rocket science to work out this has been one of those weeks for you.

Original poster
DfanjoUnchained · 30/07/2013 21:21

Luckily I have a lovely dsis who listened to me cry down the phone this evening about how alone and unsupported ive been feeling. She wants to ring my p to arrange a meet up with him to chat as I'm thinking of splitting. This just feels like the straw that broke the camels back tbh

OP posts:
Crumbledwalnuts · 30/07/2013 21:22

I think it's a dreadful word, I just didn't bother reading the post until you remarked upon it. Maybe lots of people didn't read the post. Unless they think its root is "bastard" rather than the other word.

LittlePickleHead · 30/07/2013 21:25

Dfanjo, feels really annoyed at the responses you have had on here. There have been times when things have got on top of me and I've had nothing that can be out together to make a proper meal in (we don't have a freezer which doesn't help!) and have relied in DP to come home with stuff, if he hasn't I would have been in the same position as you.

They sound like a bunch of wankers tbh Sad

LindyHemming · 30/07/2013 21:25

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Crumbledwalnuts · 30/07/2013 21:25

Dfanjo it does sound like you need a break involving lots of sleep and three square meals ago. Surviving all day on toast is not good, and you're moving too? Much stress there. What can you do to help yourself. Can you stay with your sister for a couple of nights? You will feel so much better just for getting sleep and decent nutrition.

Pagwatch · 30/07/2013 21:27

Well at least mnhq deleted it and my post which repeated it.

I am pretty shocked tbh.

Coconutty · 30/07/2013 21:27

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
DfanjoUnchained · 30/07/2013 21:29

I'm thinking of staying at my mums for a bit as I feel so unappreciated here.

Thank you for the support, I thought other mums would understand bit didnt want to discuss with friends who have lovely partners who look after them. No one looks out for me, my P thinks about himself a lot and I don't feel like I factor into his thoughts. He wouldn't think, for eg that 'Dfanjo is having a rough week, was up all night and has told me she's hungry, let me go and get some chips for her'

OP posts:
SweetBabyCheeses · 30/07/2013 21:30

This could have been my house when DS was little, we never had enough food for an entire meal. I'd have pasta but no sauce, rice but nothing to have with it, random bits of food that went with nothing else. I wasn't used to doing a weekly shop, before DS I bought whatever food I fancied for dinner on the way home. My ways have since changed, but it's really not that unusual.

OP your DP sounds like an arse. If his family feel uncomfortable that's not your problem, you gave them an option to come with you. What did he want you to do, sit there and starve silently?

Original poster
DfanjoUnchained · 30/07/2013 21:30

Thanks LittlePickle

OP posts:
DamnDeDoubtance · 30/07/2013 21:30

Is he usually this supportive? They are all completely out of order.

Boreoff · 30/07/2013 21:31

How many times does op have to say they had no food in?

They knew you were hungry, they outstayed their welcome and were rude behind your back. Sod them, I honestly can't see you did anything wrong, it was getting late and you needed to eat.

LindyHemming · 30/07/2013 21:31

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Crumbledwalnuts · 30/07/2013 21:31

Your mum's sounds like a great idea. Get some food down you, get some sleep and think about the future. Maybe you'll have enough energy to lay down the law so that your partner knows he's facing a bleak choice if he doesn't shape up. At the moment you have none at all.

Crumbledwalnuts · 30/07/2013 21:32

Not no future - no energy!

WhoNickedMyName · 30/07/2013 21:33

You had no food in the house to make a meal that you felt like eating.

Your DP had agreed that he would pick up food and cook.

I'm not getting what people are finding so hard to understand about that?

The in-laws outstayed their welcome, but you or your DP should have said at about 5.30pm... "well thanks for visiting, been nice to see you but we are going to have to get the DC and ourselves fed, bye" whilst getting their coats for them.

Ilovemydogandmydoglovesme · 30/07/2013 21:34

Apologies, that was me, didn't realise what it sounded like. It's usually a crosser version of bastard.

Blush
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