AIBU to refuse MIL & FIL to stay in our home while we're abroad for 3 weeks?

[lineup]

Just found out that MIL has asked DH if they could stay in our house while we're on hols in August & he has agreed - I've only just found out

I'm not having it - trying to get DH to phone them to say sorry it's just too short notice, another time would be best

FFS - she is very snoopy - i dont trust her one bit, so AIBU?

why would I allow her to stay here whilst I'm not here? Bloody cheeky of her to ask in the first place

[cranverry]

I wouldn't have an issue with my MIL staying when we were on holiday. But then my husband arranged a colleague to come housesit the last time we were away and he even asked him to log on to our business banking account as he had to urgently pay an unexpected bill and we didnt have the log in detsils with us. I really don't mind people using my home as their home when I'm not in it. I'd rather that than it be empty. But we don't have anything worth snooping on and no luxurious toiletries for MIL to use up.
I totally get why other people wouldn't like that though so I don't think YABU. We're all just different.

[lineup]

there's an etiquette issue where MIL has shown no manners in respecting if we want people in our home whilst we're not there, in not checking with BOTH of us rather than sneakily singing a sob story of needing a break to DH, of just using someone's utilities/space etc whilst theyre not there, MIL knowing full well that she hasnt got the full go ahead to do so from the other person who lives in the house

it's just weird to think she'll have free access to our bedroom/ensuite/cupboards/documents etc

although i'm supposed to be reassured that they'll bring their own sheets and use the guest bedroom

yeah right they will

[lineup]

i still dont know if PIL have been told, DH is packing up the car...

[cjel]

thats a good point Lineup, she should have at least phoned you to ask about how the house runs , where stuff is etc. even the fact she was going to bring her own bedding is not right without you even knowing.

[Shitsinger]

Get the locks changed < whistles innocently>

[Talkinpeace]

we always let people stay in our house when we are away : the best security ever - and they feed our cats
sometimes friends
sometimes family
and if we are in their neck of the woods we stay at theirs

I also have friends who come and use the garden in the evening as theirs is tiny : basic generosity to those less fortunate than myself

[SmileyMylee]

Hope you get this sorted. Could you say that it would invalidate your house contents insurance or something. Normally you have to pre clear house sitters / tenants etc and you haven't got time to do that.

[SwedishHouseMat]

Are you going to call her?

[cjel]

Give him the phone, say you'll do it if he doesn't and say if he won't you can tell them you're not going so there is no need for them to come. I am so angry on your behalf.

[lineup]

i'll be making a polite phonecall before 10pm I feel

[DuelingFanjo]

He's home but still not told you

[lineup]

thanks cjel - i'm v angry - i've asked if he has phoned them yet he's just said i have to pack up the car!

[sparkle12mar08]

Drag dh back into the house right now, pick up the phone and hand it to him, tell him to ring MIL right there and then in front of you or you will. I would be fucking furious if dh did this to me, and I would be having his balls on a plate.

[SwedishHouseMat]

If they were staying over, how would they get a key? Has DH hidden one somewhere?

[BridgetBidet]

The way you speak about your MIL is disgraceful. It's just downright nasty.

[Moxiegirl]

Tell him we are getting irritated here, he needs to phone them!

[lineup]

i would offer my home to friends in a second - but not MIL! different story! different boundary!

[NobodyPutsTomArcherInTheCorner]

Blimey I just know mine would be the same lineup. She'd have everyone she knew round for a nosey and I'm intensely protective of my own space.

[SwedishHouseMat]

Give me the number!! Let me call!!

[cjel]

bridget, she has only said what mil actually does? that surely make mil nasty not OP?

[ClartyCarol]

How do you mean you don't know? You've not asked him? You'll have to get on the phone to them really, won't you?

[Sowhatifyou]

'I wouldnt ring up and ask to stay at an inlaw's house while they were away.

who DOES that?'

I assume she doesn't see her son as an inlaw?

My mum could come and live with me anytime, but I suppose we're all different.

[ClartyCarol]

I ought to refresh before posting.

[FesterAddams]

Part of your anger is misdirected - it's not your MIL's fault that your DP agreed without consulting you.

Must say that I don't understand your problem with PIL staying, though.

[Goooooooooooooooooooooood]

I think you are overreacting unless there is a big backstory.

Hide your documents, toiletries and anything else you want to and don't worry about it. It is your DHs house too and you are putting him in a horrible position.

I would like it but I wouldn't say anything.