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AIBU?

AIBU to refuse MIL & FIL to stay in our home while we're abroad for 3 weeks?

553 replies

lineup · 30/07/2013 19:38

Just found out that MIL has asked DH if they could stay in our house while we're on hols in August & he has agreed - I've only just found out

I'm not having it - trying to get DH to phone them to say sorry it's just too short notice, another time would be best

FFS - she is very snoopy - i dont trust her one bit, so AIBU?

why would I allow her to stay here whilst I'm not here? Bloody cheeky of her to ask in the first place

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lineup · 30/07/2013 19:54

I wouldnt ring up and ask to stay at an inlaw's house while they were away.

who DOES that?

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HansieMom · 30/07/2013 19:55

He used to agree to MIL coming without asking me, even when he was away on business once. He allowed college friend to stay with us in Hawaii when I was eight months pregnant. I told him to call and cancel but he would not. I toughened up after years and years, but I wouldn't put it past him to still agree to things without asking me. Please be tougher than I was.

YouStayClassySanDiego · 30/07/2013 19:55

What reason has mil given for wanting to stay?

DuelingFanjo · 30/07/2013 19:56

Is she offering to house sit then?
Weird.
Any way you could doule lock or change the locks?

lineup · 30/07/2013 19:56

neighbours offer security while we're away.

she's just very gossipy and always full of riddles, and judgements. even though we live 300 miles away.

plus - wondering why she never wants to visit when DCs are around! Only if we're away!

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SarahAndFuck · 30/07/2013 19:58

So she's basically said "You're going on holiday...can we use your house, your utilities, your stuff while you are out?"

Admit it. You are my SIL aren't you? Because my PILs do that.

Seriously, why do they want to stay in your house?

lineup · 30/07/2013 19:58

if he hasnt phoned them at work or later today I will ring them before we leave tomorrow and say unfortunately it won't be suitable...& repeat

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HSMMaCM · 30/07/2013 19:59

DH probably said 'yes' without really thinking and hasn't dare tell you before now.

Can your mother come and stay to keep an eye on them?

We have locks on our bedroom doors, which we use when we go away. Run out and get some to install now and put all your cosmetics towels sex toys etc in the locked room.

littlewhitebag · 30/07/2013 19:59

It seems a bit weird to me to refuse this. For one it is much safer to have someone living in your house when you are away. I have arranged to have decorating done and a carpet laid while i am away. I trust the decorator not to snoop. What secrets do you have that your IL would find?

Edithmark · 30/07/2013 20:00

In our family we always have people to stay in our homes whilst we are away...it means the cat gets fed and the plants watered, burglars deterred etc. plus it's a cheap break for the sitters. We all do it and 'book' way in advance to get it sorted, exchange keys etc. I really like knowing my house is being looked after whilst I'm away. Main thing is to leave the place super clean and tidy when you leave and replace any stuff you've used. We don't snoop though...or if anyone ever has I've never heard about it.

lineup · 30/07/2013 20:00

exactly Sarah - I have no idea why she wants to stay here, apparently she's been stressed recently and needs a break away somewhere, but they go away somewhere different most weekends for short breaks etc

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SwedishEdith · 30/07/2013 20:01

Ah, so she wants a free holiday? I'd be really annoyed at your husband agreeing to it without asking, tbh - that's the bit that would make me dig my heels in

cjel · 30/07/2013 20:02

Hows it going? has she been told?

AKissIsNotAContract · 30/07/2013 20:02

I don't think it's even a mil issue, I wouldn't want my own mother living in my house while I went on holiday. I don't see why they would want to do this. What's wrong with their own home?

lineup · 30/07/2013 20:03

DH knows he's in deep water with me - I've yelled on the phone & hung up twice (I'm 9 wks pregnant too so he needs to be very careful) have told him I cant handle it knowing she'll be here whilst I'm supposedly relaxing in the sun

i've told him I'll stay here and he can take our other 2 DCs instead if he cant cancel it - & I will cancel it for him

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lineup · 30/07/2013 20:04

DH on his way home now just texted me, so I dont know if he's phoned her from work or if he'll phone later at home...but I wont sleep unless he has cleared this up

ridiculous in laws

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Bogeyface · 30/07/2013 20:09

Can someone explain the housesitting thing to me?

You ask someone to house sit for security. They agree and stay at yours for two weeks so you dont get burgled. But presumably their house is now standing empty? So you wont get burgled but they might?

LindyHemming · 30/07/2013 20:12

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Iwaswatchingthat · 30/07/2013 20:12

This thread has brought back an awful memory of my DH telling his ex girlfriend that she could stay in our house whilst we were on holiday - just for a couple of nights.

He could not understand at all why I was getting so cross about it.

He cancelled in the end. His plan was to leave a key under the mat for her. WTF????

I really think lots of men don't view their homes the way women do. All my husband really 'owns' in this house are his clothes, some DVDs and some books. He does not really have much he considers 'personal' whereas I consider most stuff in my home personal iykwim

lineup · 30/07/2013 20:12

exactly Bogeyface!

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LemonBreeland · 30/07/2013 20:13

That sounds awful. I could probably trust my MIL not to snoop, but wouldn't trust my Mum.

How were they going to get in if you leave tomorrow?

Do they have keys?

lineup · 30/07/2013 20:14

Yes Iwaswatchingthat, I do feel awfully 'female' and territorial about it, my things are here, my notebooks/bills/documents

ok nothing majorly secret, but it's my STUFF!!!! I dont have an open door policy! she needs to find another way of getting to know me if that's part of her plan. strange little woman that she is.

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YouStayClassySanDiego · 30/07/2013 20:15

Do you have a frosty relationship?

She's after a cheap break from her own house, and sees your house as the answer.

mrspaddy · 30/07/2013 20:15

I would be raging... I can't understand people thinking this is a reasonable 'request' from inlaws.. under no circumstance would I want this.. unless of course their home had been destroyed perhaps.
Your DH should have this sorted. Do they have keys? None of my inlaws have keys. My mother is annoyed over this but it used to piss me off when I got home from work and she took my landline phone/toaster etc when the family one broke. Or she said 'oh I removed the candle wax from the table' etc etc. so that was it.. I took the keys back.

Take the keys back.. if you have to change the locks.

LemonBreeland · 30/07/2013 20:15

I agree waswatchingthat. My DM goes into my bedroom when she visits to do her hair and make up. It really annoys me as I see mine and DHs bedroom as our personal space, DH hadn't really thought aboutit until I mentioned it being so, then he kind of got it.

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