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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

£1,730 Aibu that this is alot of money

242 replies

RiceAndP · 30/07/2013 13:09

Maybe I'm being judgey/pissed off on a Rainey day today. Friend of mine has just booked herself a weeks all inclusive holiday to gran canaries, leaving her 2 DC with her husband. He doesn't work and neither does she, has no intention of and says " Why should I". This will be the third time she has gone away this year not counting her four day trip away at Christmas, staying in a four star hotel.
Last week in the hot weather she brought an enormous swimming pool costing £180. I'm sitting there thinking shit, that would be my food bill for two months.
This week I would dearly love to take DC out for the day but cant afford to. I work but am taking this week as holiday.
I can never hope to have this sort of wage into my house of £1,730 each month? Granted one of her Dc has a mild disability and has an active life in all he does, goes to school every day. Has to attend hospital appointments twice a year for check ups.
She also gets full H/B and C/T so really that's a lot of money going into taking care of this household.
I need a bloody holiday just to get over the figures given to people that don't work... Aibu..

OP posts:
DevastatedD0G · 30/07/2013 18:56

I bet she doesn't just have one goat but two that pull her around in a little cart made of solid gold.

farrowandbawl · 30/07/2013 18:57

Oh come on!

Just one more thing....go on, we're so close to it...

IneedAsockamnesty · 30/07/2013 18:58

That's exactly what I was meaning hegsy,he clearly has more needs than implied in your initial post.

Its no big deal loads of people do it when talking about loved ones who have disabilities its one of the reasons many DLA claims for children get turned down and why a claim when you have had professional support to do so has a higher chance of a decent result. The cab have something like a 70% success rate for appealing disability related benefits.

The only reason why I pointed it out in the way I did was because sadly our perfectly normal understandable tendency to focus more on the person then we do on the disability gets jumped on by pricks who then use this as evidence that they hand out DLA to people with ingrown toe nails some of these pricks just hang around on threads like this posting bile looking down on everybody else and generally sounding like katie Hopkins, but lots of them go around physically and verbally attacking disabled people making massive assumptions about them and are prone to keying mobility cars.

IneedAsockamnesty · 30/07/2013 19:00

Kali, no they are not.

Do your self a favour and go read the HB staff manual pay attention to the disregard section, you may learn something.

Hegsy · 30/07/2013 19:02

No worries sock can you tell I'm ever so slightly defensive of my mum and brother? Both been through so much just want to keep them happy and safe Smile

SugarSpunSisters · 30/07/2013 19:57

DevastatedD0G - would that be a motibility cart...? Grin

SugarSpunSisters · 30/07/2013 19:58

Motability Blush

farrowandbawl · 30/07/2013 19:59
SugarSpunSisters · 30/07/2013 19:59

It must be coming any minute farrow Grin

kali110 · 30/07/2013 20:00

Right so just because i dont agree with your view im wrong? Iv said it doesnt apply to everyone. Maybe ill tell my mates to read your thread and say that she must be wrong when shes struggling to pay her bills every month ?

farrowandbawl · 30/07/2013 20:00

You're doing this to me on purpose aren't you?

SugarSpunSisters · 30/07/2013 20:02

How can she be struggling to pay bills kali if she is so well off on benefits?

Invite 'your mates' on here yes please do. If they exist.

It's not 'our view' you are agreeing with, it's actual facts.

IneedAsockamnesty · 30/07/2013 20:06

2 + 2 = 4 no matter what your view point is views and opinions can not change basic maths.

kali110 · 30/07/2013 20:16

Nice so because my view is different my mates are imaginery?my mate is struggling Because she is choosing to stay at work. My other mate is no longer working due to this. Iv already said i was wrong to say it about everybody but the fact is it does work out for some people to not go to work.

farrowandbawl · 30/07/2013 20:18

" My other mate is no longer working due to this"

How did she give up work and how old was she child at the time and how long ago was this?

Go on, I dare you.

kali110 · 30/07/2013 20:18

Plus i didnt say she was rolling in it but by working she isnt better off.

kali110 · 30/07/2013 20:22

My mare is 26 with two kids and is still working.The other gave up working two years ago when her boy was 3. I sorry i dont know how much she gets in benefits as i dont ask! I see the one with two a lot as i used to work with her. Used to work with the orher also). She was always coming in stressed cz she was struggling.

fanjoforthemammaries7850 · 30/07/2013 20:23

OP..be glad your kids are not disabled and needing extra care, count your blessings, live your own life and don't be so crass as to begrudge your friend a holiday.

HtH

JakeBullet · 30/07/2013 20:25

The other friend will have to take a job when her child turns 5 though kali under the new rules.

Personally speaking I am worse off on benefits than in work AND I get extra benefits as DS is autistic. It still does not add up to my salary and in fact I could add DS's DLA onto my salary too.

SugarSpunSisters · 30/07/2013 20:25

A FT job of lets say minimum wage is roughly £225.

JobSeekers Allowance is £71 - or even less if you are young.

No-one would pack in a job for those figures.

Unless of course the scenario is hypothetical or imaginary

farrowandbawl · 30/07/2013 20:26

The one that gave up work 2 years ago when her boy was three will HAVE to start looking for work now. BY LAW.

They are not better off on benefits and never have been. You are just falling for the same old shit that been given out day in and day out.

I didn't ask what she gets in benefits, not that she'll be getting them for much longer anyway.

I can promise you the one that works with 2 kids will be in a much better position than the one that isn't.

JakeBullet · 30/07/2013 20:27

I still want to know how anyone manages a holiday on benefits! I haven't had one for four years ...in work or out of work.

Unless someone has bought the holiday for her then I seriously doubt she has done this on benefit income.

kali110 · 30/07/2013 20:29

I said im on jsa not her? She gets more than that!She also gets part of her rent paid for her and child tax credits and i think working tax credits. She only works part time due to the company not being flexible with the hours.im sorry i cant give you a full breakdown.

SugarSpunSisters · 30/07/2013 20:31

Well really, if you can't give exact facts and figures then you can't be commenting on if she is better/worse off.

It's just pure speculation then isn't it - which leads to so many misinformed, usually judgemental, nasty posts.

IneedAsockamnesty · 30/07/2013 20:35

She gets a in work disregard via HB and WTC so no she is not worse off its a perception but its wrong.

Your friend who quit work will not be better off but she may perceive herself to be due to less hassle dealing with the differences.

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