Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

£1,730 Aibu that this is alot of money

242 replies

RiceAndP · 30/07/2013 13:09

Maybe I'm being judgey/pissed off on a Rainey day today. Friend of mine has just booked herself a weeks all inclusive holiday to gran canaries, leaving her 2 DC with her husband. He doesn't work and neither does she, has no intention of and says " Why should I". This will be the third time she has gone away this year not counting her four day trip away at Christmas, staying in a four star hotel.
Last week in the hot weather she brought an enormous swimming pool costing £180. I'm sitting there thinking shit, that would be my food bill for two months.
This week I would dearly love to take DC out for the day but cant afford to. I work but am taking this week as holiday.
I can never hope to have this sort of wage into my house of £1,730 each month? Granted one of her Dc has a mild disability and has an active life in all he does, goes to school every day. Has to attend hospital appointments twice a year for check ups.
She also gets full H/B and C/T so really that's a lot of money going into taking care of this household.
I need a bloody holiday just to get over the figures given to people that don't work... Aibu..

OP posts:
IneedAsockamnesty · 30/07/2013 17:32

Just realised I should have included in my ADHD related post that lower rates of both DLA components are paid if your one of the lucky ones and they do not add up to any where near £400 pm.

The vast majority of children with ADHD do not qualify for any DLA at all.

sugar quite right,lets stop tripping up outlandish claims with actual facts.Grin

farrowandbawl · 30/07/2013 17:32

SN - check

Just need someone to mention a car....and I've got a full house!

HaveIGotPoosForYou · 30/07/2013 17:34

I remember when I was doing voluntary work a woman phoned into one of my colleagues at the time (a place where you can seek advice for claiming benefits/getting housing etc) complaining that she only got £450 a week. She had 3 kids one of which was disabled, disabled herself but her husband was not disabled. She was :o on why she didn't get more. I know looking after kids can be really hard, but surely that is either enough or you don't have more kids than you can handle?

I thought I'd share that some people do get a ridiculous amount.

IneedAsockamnesty · 30/07/2013 17:36

HaveI,

That's a family of 5 with 2 disabled members, how is the sum received a ridiculous amount?

SugarSpunSisters · 30/07/2013 17:38

Yeah you're right actually... some people, 99% of the time are imaginary people, do get ridiculous amounts.

What's ridiculous?

SugarSpunSisters · 30/07/2013 17:40

£450 less housing - for a family of five, two with disabilities, you are looking at less than £10 per day per person.

Plenty enough Hmm

SugarSpunSisters · 30/07/2013 17:42

Havel, I know you say "looking after kids can be really hard" -

Have you ever looked after a disabled child whilst being disabled yourself?

garlicagain · 30/07/2013 17:43

I've just worked mine out so you can all have a go at me : £790 a month. No disability elements as am still on appeal, HB & CTC included. It's the equivalent of around £10k pa earnings, so pretty crap - as I know; I'm living on it!

I don't think three times that would be excessive for somebody with children, some with SN, in a more expensive area. They'd be at least as skint as I am.

garlicagain · 30/07/2013 17:44

Have you ever looked after a disabled child whilst being disabled yourself?

You would actually need £000s just to cover equipment & support. I know you wouldn't get that on the State!

Hegsy · 30/07/2013 17:49

Garlicagain my brother never left home and is still there now. No idea why you think he had? He's only just finished high school this year(held back a year at primary) his DLA is gauranteed until he's 21 if I remember correctly. His social worker at school helped my mum fill out the forms. As for housing benefit she needed all loass od crap like landlord letter, solicitor letter to do with the seperation and also I think letter from the school. Tbf she was in a pretty shitty place at that point and no money would ever xompensate for that. Having to hold your mum whilst she lies and breaks her heart and knowing nothing you can do will fix it just isnt worth anything Sad

farrowandbawl · 30/07/2013 17:49

Garlic,

That's if the support in your area is avaliable in the first place and hasn't been subject to the oh, so many cuts.

DryCounty79 · 30/07/2013 17:49

Sock You're right, I do now get LHA. But when I was claiming for the full amount as a sah single mum from 2006-2011, it was full HB and it was still paid directly to me, as the landlord had problems with a previous tenant and wouldn't accept it being paid directly to him. Maybe it is different council to council.

Hegsy · 30/07/2013 17:51

sockreturningpixie are you calling me a liar? Why on earth would I lie about something like that?????

PrettyKitty1986 · 30/07/2013 18:00

Is £1700 a month really going to buy you that lifestyle?

We would struggle for one holiday a year on that for a family of 4, never mind more than one Hmm

garlicagain · 30/07/2013 18:02

Ahhh ... When you said "after he left", you meant her H not your bro! Sorry for misunderstanding you, hegsy.

IneedAsockamnesty · 30/07/2013 18:15

No hegsy I'm not,if I were my post would have contained the words "your a liar" it didn't.

You have either minimised the child's difficulties and left off additional needs or are mistaken about the figures. Either could have been unintentional and an easy mistake to make.

If your happy to disclose the tax years you are talking about it would be quite easy for me to tell you how many under 18's in those tax years were getting DLA for ADHD (and nothing else)and what level it was paid at.

But for at least the last approx 10+years the huge majority of payments for ADHD (and nothing else)would be no higher than lower for both components and most of those in payment will have actually been awarded it after appeal or tribunal.

ProtegeMoi · 30/07/2013 18:19

Havel - so by your quotes a family of 5 with 2 disabled members got roughly the same amount as the poster says this lady gets for 1 mildly disabled child, hence saying its bullshit.

And all this high rate DLA for ADHD, I don't think so!
My son has GDD, ADHD, ASD and SPD and we get the middle rate of care with no mobility. High rate isn't awarded easily, in fact DLA isn't awarded easily.

We had to go to appeal to get anything and we had 7 different professionals backing us. And we don't get a 'free car'.

ProtegeMoi · 30/07/2013 18:22

And the looking after kids is hard statement is ridiculous, try looking after a severely disabled child for just one day. I could handle 20 children but my son on my own, no chance!

And the why have more kids then you can cope with, has it never occurred to you that people don't choose to have a disabled child!

Hegsy · 30/07/2013 18:22

Perhaps minimised? To me my brother is my brother ADHD, night terrors, OCD, no common sense or sense of danger. Never left on his own if mum not there he comes to us. Never been medicated though. She's been recieving DLA since he tranferred to special needs school which was approx primary 5 so he would have been almost 10 years ago. But I can assure you that is what is being paid for DLA seen rhe bank statement s as until recently I helped my mum with her internet banking bill paying etc.

Anyway no idea why I'm trying to justify myself to a stranger I know the facts and thats that

kali110 · 30/07/2013 18:24

Oswin i feel you. My job just ended. Applied for benefits a month ago and still got nothing! How does she afford all this on benefits? Im going to get £70 a week!
Not easy finding a job when youve got spinal damage and something wrong with your knees. docs answer is too now make me take 4 diff painkillers everyday, thought they would not want to give more painkillers??Im not begrudging a career a holiday or benefits for disabled child but how do they get all that and why does neither of them have to not work?its a shame that for some they get more dosh staying at home than they would working, it shouldnt be like that. Cant say i would blame someone for not working if they would make more staying at home.

Hegsy · 30/07/2013 18:24

DLA isn't administered differently in scotland is it?

ProtegeMoi · 30/07/2013 18:26

So your brother needs 24/7 care, that's hardly 'just ADHD'

ProtegeMoi · 30/07/2013 18:29

Kali - you are not better off out of work, that's a myth. I receive DLA for my son, its helps a lot! I don't work as he needs a lot of care.

If I were to go to work I would loose my income support £40 a week. That's it. I would still get the DLA so would be MUCH better off in work.

Remember DLA is not an out of work benefit!

As it happens I wish I could work, I was forced to leave a very well paid job and sell both my house and car due to my sons disabilities.

ouryve · 30/07/2013 18:29

If she gets carers' allowance, then her child must be in receipt of at least middle rate care DLA. That's a benefit for the child and not them. Plus they will also receive the disabled child element of CTC.

kali110 · 30/07/2013 18:53

Maybe not everybody but a lot are! Two people just by ne for example are single parents and are better off recieving benefits than looking for a job.
My one mate is actually struggling because she wants to stay working but is getting less dosh than if she wasn't.