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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

£1,730 Aibu that this is alot of money

242 replies

RiceAndP · 30/07/2013 13:09

Maybe I'm being judgey/pissed off on a Rainey day today. Friend of mine has just booked herself a weeks all inclusive holiday to gran canaries, leaving her 2 DC with her husband. He doesn't work and neither does she, has no intention of and says " Why should I". This will be the third time she has gone away this year not counting her four day trip away at Christmas, staying in a four star hotel.
Last week in the hot weather she brought an enormous swimming pool costing £180. I'm sitting there thinking shit, that would be my food bill for two months.
This week I would dearly love to take DC out for the day but cant afford to. I work but am taking this week as holiday.
I can never hope to have this sort of wage into my house of £1,730 each month? Granted one of her Dc has a mild disability and has an active life in all he does, goes to school every day. Has to attend hospital appointments twice a year for check ups.
She also gets full H/B and C/T so really that's a lot of money going into taking care of this household.
I need a bloody holiday just to get over the figures given to people that don't work... Aibu..

OP posts:
ringaringarosy · 30/07/2013 13:25

she might be in loads of debt for it i doubt anyone on benefits could afford to do all that otherwise,unless she sells something on the side!

BabyMakesMyEyesGoSleepy · 30/07/2013 13:27

Fair play to her,hope she enjoys herself.

HighJinx · 30/07/2013 13:37

I always find these stories difficult to believe. Surely there must be more going on.
I have a friend who is a single mum to 2 DD's, one of whom has severe disabilities. She gets maximum benefits for her DD and the only holidays they are only ever able to afford are a long weekend at a holiday camp with vouchers from the paper. No 4x4, no drive to park it on, no plasma TV.

Her DD is bullied for getting 'hand outs' from the government for being disabled when she is well enough to go to school 60% of the time. When she is well she doesn't need that much care (although she can never be alone in the house) but when she is ill she needs constant care 24 hours a day. Some days it seems like being her carer is a doddle but at other times it can be relentless.

They don't rake it in from the benefits they receive and they certainly aren't living it up.

ouryve · 30/07/2013 13:40

I have two kids with disabilities. WHERE'S MY FREE HOLIDAY?Hmm

raisah · 30/07/2013 13:42

I could go on 2 holidays for that amount, £1700 is a bit much for one week even if it is all inclusive. 5* maybe for that price?

TylerHopkins · 30/07/2013 13:42

The chances are she has another income coming into the house. Perhaps something 'off the record' which she doesn't declare.

Her attitude to working stinks imo. It is attitudes like that which the government is trying to change with the benefit reforms. Unfortunately the really needy people are getting caught in the crossfire.

Fairylea · 30/07/2013 13:42

I suspect she is up to her ears in debt.

My dh is on minimum wage and with tax credits we get about that much. We can't even afford A holiday, or luxury toilet paper! :)

Wowserz129 · 30/07/2013 13:43

I don't believe threads like this. All the families I know would not be able to afford 4 holidays a year whilst on benefits. Also where she going at £1700 a week, the four seasons in New York. Doubt it!!!!!

TabithaStephens · 30/07/2013 13:43

YANBU. Many working people cannot even afford to go on holiday once a year, let alone thrice a year. The benefits system is out of control, it was never intended to be used in this way.

jacks365 · 30/07/2013 13:44

£1730 a month will include hb/ct. I agree with others that the benefits simply would not cover all of this so they are paying for it some other way.

TylerHopkins · 30/07/2013 13:45

I have a friend who is a single parent and has a similar lifestyle. She works 2.5 days a week, term time only earning £25 pro rata. She claims benefits, receives money from the father and also has a cash in hand job. She's doing very well. I on the other hand work full time and can't afford a holiday or many treats at all.
Benefit fiddling does go on and I bet the OP's friend is doing a bit of it from the sounds of it.

farrowandbawl · 30/07/2013 13:47

Blah, blah blah, blah blah blah.

NEXT!

TylerHopkins · 30/07/2013 13:47
  • that should be 25k pro rata!
mrsjay · 30/07/2013 13:49

I can see why you are pissed off but it isn't their fault you have no money I dont know anybody on benefits that can afford a holiday abroad even with disabily benefit included,

Footface · 30/07/2013 13:49

Of course it's a lot of money, but you don't actually know that they are paid for, credit is easy.

Bailiffs jobs are the one area that there has been growth

piratecat · 30/07/2013 13:52

doesn't op mean the friend is getting £1730 a month on bens?

Ohhelpohnoitsa · 30/07/2013 13:53

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

piratecat · 30/07/2013 13:53

what job is this that pays 25k for 2.5 days a week???

TylerHopkins · 30/07/2013 13:54

Good post ohhelpohnoitsa

lottieandmia · 30/07/2013 13:54

YABU - it's none of your business what she spends her money on. Perhaps her family pays for her to go on holiday. Why are you so jealous?

youarewinning · 30/07/2013 13:55

It's not impossible for the £1750 a month not to include the HB and CTB I wouldn't have thought.

EG:
JSA - £70/wk = £280
Carers - £50/wk = £200
CB - £30/wk = £120
DLA - HRC and HRM - £130/wk = £520
Disability rate of CTC - £58/ wk = £232

That alone is £1350 and £400 CTC for 2 children a month must be circa £400?

That said it's hard living with a child who has a disability - the money is not compensation it's for the extra costs involved in the care - for example looking after a child through the night, going to appointments etc. Maybe neither work because they do far more for their disabled child than you realise.

GoodTouchBadTouch · 30/07/2013 13:55

My mum was on income support as she was a single parent, so I got free school meals. She also got money from my father (undeclared) and worked cash in hand on my rich granmas estate. We had a nice house and holidays and I never felt "poor"

Maybe that's what they do.

TylerHopkins · 30/07/2013 13:55

pirate she gets 25k pro rata working for an education company.

JakeBullet · 30/07/2013 13:56

I am on full benefits at the moment OP. I haven't had a holiday for four years. Couldn't afford one IN work, never mind out of work. I agree with others, this is being done on credit which she may or may not pay back. Provident will lend an initial £500 bit then increase the amounts to good payers. My friend had a £500 Provident loan....it cost her nearly £950 in repayments over a year!

ouryve · 30/07/2013 13:56

With a disabled child, they possibly receive DLA, by the way. MRC + LRM would account for over £300 a month. HRC + HRM about £570. It's not means tested.

Still 1730 a month is little over £20K pa. Hardly a massive income and not one I could afford multiple holidays on and not compromise on other priorities.