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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

...to be delighted that I have never witnessed my parents shagging?

212 replies

Beeyump · 29/07/2013 14:14

During one of those meandering conversations with a friend the other day, the topic of parents' public displays of affection came up. She was shocked when I said that all I could remember between them was the odd hand hold and peck on the cheek, and seemed to view witnessing her own mum and dad having sex, through a slightly opened door when she was around 11, as some kind of rite of passage. Like, I was bound to be a bit screwed up about sex because this hadn't happened to sheltered me Confused Oh, the very idea of it though! And surely it's not THAT common to have seen parents DTD?

OP posts:
Bogeyface · 30/07/2013 22:41

How can anyone still feel horny with a child in the room?! I pause but can carry on through a nocturnal loo trip, but with a child in the room, not a chance! I couldnt do it when the babies where snorting in their sleep never mind with a wide awake 8 year old in the room!

MrsKeithRichards · 30/07/2013 22:42

I don't know how genuine it was as it was on netmums too. Yuk.

dancingwithmyselfandthecat · 30/07/2013 22:43

On a lighter note, I remember a friend being deeply traumatised by her mother announcing at the breakfast table that her father was doing a generous and couragous thing in getting a vasectomy so that they could continue to express their love with no fear of further children!

I walked in on my parents one morning immediately after. I was eight and used to watch tv in their bed on Saturday mornings. My mum pulled all the sheets off very quickly and said that daddy had just had an "accident"....

ByTheSea · 30/07/2013 22:44

I walked in on my dad and himself when I was 14 or 15. I apologised quickly and backed right out the door. He later told me he was sorry I saw that and i told him it wasn't a problem.

An old boyfriend and I when we were late teens were discovered by his father, who completely freaked out and shouted the house down. I cringe thinking about it.

I think oldest DS mighg have heard us when he was about 11. Ugh.

Bogeyface · 30/07/2013 22:46

I remember a friend being deeply traumatised by her mother announcing at the breakfast table that her father was doing a generous and couragous thing in getting a vasectomy so that they could continue to express their love with no fear of further children!

Nice way to make your kids feel good about themselves :o

YoniBottsBumgina · 30/07/2013 22:46

I haven't because my mother has been single since leaving my dad when I was 6 and hasn't had sex (in the house) since that date - she told me later that they barely had sex after my DSis was conceived (when I was 2) so they probably actually didn't even if I wasn't aware.

I'm really paranoid about DS hearing us when he is older as I am quite loud apparently Blush Not bothered about when he is little and wouldn't know what was going on, although haven't done it in the same room since he went into his own room as a baby.

PolkadotsAndMoonbeams · 30/07/2013 22:50

I never have (but then I slept right at the other end of the house).

I did however wake up during my freshers week when my room-mate brought a boy back. What makes it worse is we slept in a bunk bed (it was emergency extra accommodation) so not only could I hear her, but I was woken up by the bed shaking. I never said anything, but asked to be put on the waiting list for a single room the next day!

AudrinaAdare · 30/07/2013 22:51

These are terrible!

My parents were E.A / toxic and all kinds of wrong but the most I ever heard was my Mum coyly asking my Dad if he would be her "valentine" and him complaining that her feet were cold.

Original poster
Beeyump · 30/07/2013 22:55

I don't know what would be more of a mood killer really - having parents or children within earshot of you having sex. The thought of the days when large families slept in one room makes my mind hurt.

OP posts:
itsonlyapapermoon · 31/07/2013 01:17

Our dd6 is what we call a creeper-she's so quiet and just creeps up behind you and scares the shit out of you! When she was 3 or 4 DH and I were dtd when all of a sudden DH lets out a weird shriek. I thought he'd got a cramp in his leg or something but I turned around to see DD just standing next to the bed staring at us with wide open eyes. I thought she was just sleepwalking and put her back to bed, but the next morning she asked, "Daddy, why were you standing on Mummy?" LOL! We still use that phrase sometimes:P I don't think she was particularly traumatised :P

Goooooooooooooooooooooood · 31/07/2013 01:33

Never heard or saw my parents but did hear my Dad with various other women a few times. Shock It didnt bother me but I do like to tease him that due to his prattish, selfish, jack the lad ways he has noone to keep him, err, company now that he is older.

My Mum, understandably, refuses to share a room with him.

Toadinthehole · 31/07/2013 02:26

Never stumbled upon my parents DTD, but I do remember overhearing the following, shrieked from older brother's room by his libidinous girlfriend:

Ow! ow, ow, Ow, OW! OWWW!!! Pull out! Pull out!

I have never asked precisely what they were doing.

SupermansBigRedPants · 31/07/2013 05:06

mother of nations you're close - angus Grin I forget it's not a 'real' word to most people!

Tee2072 · 31/07/2013 06:45

Not me, but my brother heard my mom and step dad.

First I knew was when I came home from school to find my mom in the spare room and my step dad in their bedroom (shared wall) with her going 'can you hear me now'? They were trying to decide whether to soundproof.

How about you just abstain when someone is sleeping in that room?!?!

nooka · 31/07/2013 07:17

I never heard my parents having sex, but my mother did announce about ten years ago that they were now 'chaste'. given that she'd previously told me that she didn't enjoy sex (lie back and think of England style) but masturbated every night before going to sleep I felt rather sorry for my poor father. I think it probably would have helped me grow up with a healthier attitude toward sex if they had been more positive role models and shown at least a little bit of physical attraction between them.

Our children have walked in a few times, and we've had to make up some silly stories but we are much more careful now they are teenagers - in fact dh is reluctant to have sex with them in the house now.

TheRealFellatio · 31/07/2013 07:20

I saw it once. The trouble was, my dad was married to someone else at the time and had a small child with her. That messed with my head, let me tell you.

Oh and I told my stepmother, which went down swimmingly as you can imagine. I was nine.

makemineabacardi · 31/07/2013 07:35

I saw my parents doing doggy in the garage once. I 'forgot' about it for years. I caught them at it a few times (saturday afternoon in the bathroom!) but that was the worst.

They also had a massive poster of my Dad naked on a beach that was stored in my bedroom wardrobe once. Never forget the day I found it.

My parents were narcs though.

MrsHoarder · 31/07/2013 07:57

I thought "mother of nations you're close -Angus" was something that had been overheard Grin

SupermansBigRedPants · 31/07/2013 08:24

Haha!! mrs hoarder Grin

cocolepew · 31/07/2013 08:39

DHs ex gf lived in a two bedroom house with her parents and brother. The parents didn't allow the brother and sister to sleep in the same froom so she slept in the parents room, even in her twenties. Her parents just carried on with having a normal sex life while she lay on the single bed next to them Hmm.

Original poster
Beeyump · 31/07/2013 09:06

cocolepew That sounds insane.

Might try 'Mother of nations you're close Angus!!' the next time I'm getting into it...

OP posts:
MotherOfNations · 31/07/2013 09:11

superman I'm forever shouting at the dd's "It's jumped not jamp".

Hippymama · 31/07/2013 09:18

Some if these are shocking (and sad) :(

I don't remember walking in on my parents, but did hear squeaky bedsprings a few times.

Worst time was staying at a friend's house when I was about 12. I hadn't really stayed away from home overnight before. As girls do, we stayed awake quite late giggling and chatting until suddenly we heard a strange shrieking sound. My friend's house backed onto a field and I said "what's that? Do you think it's foxes?", but my friend told me no, it was her parents! It was such a strange sound that I really didn't think it was a person! Apparently they did it all the time, especially when friends came to stay! Next morning I couldn't look her mam in the eye at breakfast time, especially as she was the local lollipop lady! Subsequent conversations with other friends revealed I was not the only person to have heard the nocturnal going on at my friend's house :(

Another friend returned home from sixth form unexpectedly early to find her parents going for it on the living room floor surrounded by sex toys. I think she was pretty scarred by that image! Lol

LegoRelatedInjury · 31/07/2013 09:24

I also want to adopt 'Mother of Nations, you're close Angus!' As my orgasm cry.

That'll put the shitters right up DH!

MotherOfNations · 31/07/2013 10:48

Slightly disconcerting that you'll be shouting my name at the crucial moment.