...to be delighted that I have never witnessed my parents shagging?

[Beeyump]

During one of those meandering conversations with a friend the other day, the topic of parents' public displays of affection came up. She was shocked when I said that all I could remember between them was the odd hand hold and peck on the cheek, and seemed to view witnessing her own mum and dad having sex, through a slightly opened door when she was around 11, as some kind of rite of passage. Like, I was bound to be a bit screwed up about sex because this hadn't happened to sheltered me Oh, the very idea of it though! And surely it's not THAT common to have seen parents DTD?

[AllEyeEatIsCake]

Whoops! My mum was pretty non chalant about it. Fairy enough!

[AllEyeEatIsCake]

I'm with the posters that say seeing/hearing your parents are still at it is reassuring that they still like each other. Also hope to still be at it when I'm old too.

I couldn't stop laughing when I unwittingly walked in on my parents doing 69. I was 23 at the time. My mum was pretty n

[picklepen]

I'm in the innocent category, though thinking about it... Never heard my DPs DTD but DID occasionally hear my my DM telling my DF angrily loudly to get off/oh, not now/not again!

I did find a condom in the washing machine once- had been caught up with the clothes from my DPs floor. DF waaay more embarrassed than I was!

And my DF was an amateur photographer... I thought some of the photos of DM were risqué but apparently he had more. None of us ever saw them- DM just informed us that DF had got rid of that album before he died. Thanks, Mum.

[anniferer]

I heard my mother "at it" loads of times with her numerous boyfriends. I think it was more traumatising when I was younger and being bullied because my parents were divorced.
DD walked in on DH and I having a quickie one evening when she was about 3. We were both still mostly clothed (thank goodness for long skirts). She thought we were playing wrestling and asked "Is mummy the champion now?" .

[littlepinkpear]

Once came home late to a lot of screaming and wailing from upstairs. Slammed the front door, nothing stopped.

Slammed it again, still at it. Slammed it again, still at it.

Went and made a cuppa, heard them both finish and got up and slammed the door again.

Lives with me to do this day, but my mother was having such a great time....

[MotherOfNations]

Knowing about it is one thing but hearing it would be quite another.

[LegoRelatedInjury]

Take it as a compliment Mother. You'll not heard it shouted often anyway!

[OrangeLily]

I haven't seen my parents but I have heard both sets and I've also heard DH's Grandparents when we were staying. They suggested we all have a lie-in which I thought might mean about 9am. They didn't surface until 11am . Good for them though! DH was only my DB of about 18 months at that point and was a bit mortified.

[CatsAndTheirPizza]

Oh thank you so much valiumredhead - I shall be forever in your debt

[valiumredhead]

Just to make you feel better you can be quite un comfy with vaginal dryness without needing it for sex

[CatsAndTheirPizza]

I've never walked in on my parents, though this thread has reminded me that they did lock their bedroom door to 'watch television'. I like to think they were watching television and that the loo trips afterwards were because they had a pot of tea in there too.

It's also, unfortunately, reminded me of the day we went to DH's parents and I saw a prescription for vaginal dryness cream (or some such - I have brain bleached the details now) on the notice board when I was admiring postcards . Them still being active is a visual image I could do without to be honest. I'm not entirely sure how they would, due to the shape of my MIL. I tried to discuss it with DH but had to stop when he got to the dry retching stage!

[Beeyump]

[MotherOfNations]

Slightly disconcerting that you'll be shouting my name at the crucial moment.

[LegoRelatedInjury]

I also want to adopt 'Mother of Nations, you're close Angus!' As my orgasm cry.

That'll put the shitters right up DH!

[Hippymama]

Some if these are shocking (and sad) :(

I don't remember walking in on my parents, but did hear squeaky bedsprings a few times.

Worst time was staying at a friend's house when I was about 12. I hadn't really stayed away from home overnight before. As girls do, we stayed awake quite late giggling and chatting until suddenly we heard a strange shrieking sound. My friend's house backed onto a field and I said "what's that? Do you think it's foxes?", but my friend told me no, it was her parents! It was such a strange sound that I really didn't think it was a person! Apparently they did it all the time, especially when friends came to stay! Next morning I couldn't look her mam in the eye at breakfast time, especially as she was the local lollipop lady! Subsequent conversations with other friends revealed I was not the only person to have heard the nocturnal going on at my friend's house :(

Another friend returned home from sixth form unexpectedly early to find her parents going for it on the living room floor surrounded by sex toys. I think she was pretty scarred by that image! Lol

[MotherOfNations]

superman I'm forever shouting at the dd's "It's jumped not jamp".

[Beeyump]

cocolepew That sounds insane.

Might try 'Mother of nations you're close Angus!!' the next time I'm getting into it...

[cocolepew]

DHs ex gf lived in a two bedroom house with her parents and brother. The parents didn't allow the brother and sister to sleep in the same froom so she slept in the parents room, even in her twenties. Her parents just carried on with having a normal sex life while she lay on the single bed next to them .

[SupermansBigRedPants]

Haha!! mrs hoarder

[MrsHoarder]

I thought "mother of nations you're close -Angus" was something that had been overheard

[makemineabacardi]

I saw my parents doing doggy in the garage once. I 'forgot' about it for years. I caught them at it a few times (saturday afternoon in the bathroom!) but that was the worst.

They also had a massive poster of my Dad naked on a beach that was stored in my bedroom wardrobe once. Never forget the day I found it.

My parents were narcs though.

[TheRealFellatio]

I saw it once. The trouble was, my dad was married to someone else at the time and had a small child with her. That messed with my head, let me tell you.

Oh and I told my stepmother, which went down swimmingly as you can imagine. I was nine.

[nooka]

I never heard my parents having sex, but my mother did announce about ten years ago that they were now 'chaste'. given that she'd previously told me that she didn't enjoy sex (lie back and think of England style) but masturbated every night before going to sleep I felt rather sorry for my poor father. I think it probably would have helped me grow up with a healthier attitude toward sex if they had been more positive role models and shown at least a little bit of physical attraction between them.

Our children have walked in a few times, and we've had to make up some silly stories but we are much more careful now they are teenagers - in fact dh is reluctant to have sex with them in the house now.

[Tee2072]

Not me, but my brother heard my mom and step dad.

First I knew was when I came home from school to find my mom in the spare room and my step dad in their bedroom (shared wall) with her going 'can you hear me now'? They were trying to decide whether to soundproof.

How about you just abstain when someone is sleeping in that room?!?!

[SupermansBigRedPants]

mother of nations you're close - angus I forget it's not a 'real' word to most people!