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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

...to be delighted that I have never witnessed my parents shagging?

212 replies

Beeyump · 29/07/2013 14:14

During one of those meandering conversations with a friend the other day, the topic of parents' public displays of affection came up. She was shocked when I said that all I could remember between them was the odd hand hold and peck on the cheek, and seemed to view witnessing her own mum and dad having sex, through a slightly opened door when she was around 11, as some kind of rite of passage. Like, I was bound to be a bit screwed up about sex because this hadn't happened to sheltered me Confused Oh, the very idea of it though! And surely it's not THAT common to have seen parents DTD?

OP posts:
NaturalBlondeYeahRight · 29/07/2013 18:24

I'm surprised no-ones mentioned my that thread about being caught in the 'garden office' by DD. I they were mortified but after reading advice from the wise people of MN realised that there are worse things to see (only just)

It's like that modern family episode - hearing the lock slide could make it worse......

valiumredhead · 29/07/2013 18:28

I remember that threadGrin

dirtyface · 29/07/2013 18:30

yanbu

i never heard or saw my parents at it

THANK GOD

but once was sleeping over my best friends when i was about 16 and heard her dad shagging his GF. sounded like a pair of warthogs. disgusting

valiumredhead · 29/07/2013 18:31

Arf@warthogsGrin

Soontobemama · 29/07/2013 18:41

I used to hear my mum and stepdad ALL the time as she was a screamer.

They used to send me to my room to play so that they could watch the snooker together. It always ended with them shagging loudly. I can't believe they didn't have a bit more consideration for the fact that we lived in a tiny terraced house and of course I could hear everything. I once got bored waiting for them to finish and opened our front door. I will never forget the face of the woman who walked past and heard it all.

possum18 · 29/07/2013 18:44

I'm pleased to say this has never happened to me!!

EdvardMonsterMunch · 29/07/2013 19:17

DH and I once came across my DP's DTD on a beach abroad.....there is not enough brain bleach in the world to remove that image.

DS1 caught us in the act last year, was with his girlfriend....twas like history repeating itself !!! (vomit)

MIL caught us in the act many years ago and closed the door but continued to speak to DH!! (no shame)

Original poster
Beeyump · 29/07/2013 19:31

Continued talk to your DH? Hahaa oh dear!
Oh,and yes,I probably am 'incredibly childish'.
Sigh.

OP posts:
ComposHat · 29/07/2013 19:32

They used to send me to my room to play so that they could watch the snooker together

Bent over the table for a hard pink in the bottom pocket?

MrsKeithRichards · 29/07/2013 19:49

Arf@snooker

JackieTheFart · 29/07/2013 19:49

I never caught my parents at it as my bedroom was down the hall, but my dad in particular used to sleep naked.

Have been caught by DSS once, he was only about 4 though. DH told him we were playing hide and seek - so DSS pipes up 'can I play?!'

We are fairly open and it wouldn't bother me now, but I think most people as teens would be mortified to think that their parents still 'did it'. My DH not included as he used to tell them in the morning! Shock fucking weirdo

Inthebeginning · 29/07/2013 20:04

I've never heard/seen my parents but did find their sex manual when I was about 12.
Heard mil and sfil frequently and loudly when was first with dh and he still lived at home, made dh move his bed in the end as we were wall to wall Blush
When dh was 15 he took his mom a morning cup of tea and discovered her in bed with a one night stand who was only 4 years older than him :(

SuperiorCat · 29/07/2013 20:12

Shock Inthebeginning

My poor cousin went to school with his now step-Mum

sazzle82 · 29/07/2013 20:18

I caught my DPs at it one Sunday morning when I was about 7. I had decided to make them breakfast in bed an just quietly left the tray on the side in their room and snuck back out. They didn't see me, but obviously knew I'd walked in when they saw their breakfast afterwards.

I have had to listen to my Dsis when we were teenagers. Also once heard my friend's parents when stating at their house after a party.

In hindsight, considering some people have never walked in/heard anything, I feel I have had to endure more than my fair share

RoxyFox211 · 29/07/2013 20:20

You're lucky! I never physically saw sex, but heard it. Also, emptying the bins was always one of my chores and one time when i was about 11 i was emptying their bedroom bin into the main bin bag and had to peel a used condom off that was stuck to the bottom. Confused. I was too embarrassed to leave it or mention it.

AKissIsNotAContract · 29/07/2013 20:22

I didn't have parents who liked each other enough to shag. I'm pretty sure that fucked me up more than hearing them at it would have done.

SupermansBigRedPants · 29/07/2013 21:27

I saw my mum with one of her numerous boyfriends when I was around 4 - they'd left me to play in the living room and I got bored.

My friends have all heard my mum at it with someone or other when we were teens, she used to pick up younger men - half of whom I knew from school BlushAngrySad

Ds when he first got sturdy on his feet once came into our room and jamp on dfiance's back - piley on mummy that's called in the bedroom now Grin

Sparklymommy · 29/07/2013 21:31

Why is this avproblem? Pretty sure I must have heard or seen something in the past but can't say it's stuck in my mind.

My mother walked in on me and my ex once. She was mortified as we weren't together at the time. And I know DSD has heard me and hubby at it as he makes comments!

dubdurbs · 29/07/2013 23:29

Never walked in on them, thank God, but I'm well used to hearing my parents shagging. Mum would be vocal enough(cringe) so lots of 'oh fuck, oh God, oh God, Jesus, fuck, oh God, oh, oh, oh!!' quite loud too, so I've learned over the years to tune it out or pull the duvet over my head. The last time I heard her moaning like that was a few years ago, early in the morning, so I duly pulled the duvet up and waited it out, only to realise an hour later that she was still going and Dad had said he was leaving early to go to a meeting. Turns out she fell out of bed and landed on top of a box she had at the side of the bed and broken a rib! :D

LegoRelatedInjury · 30/07/2013 07:47

dubdurbs I know I shouldn't laugh but that made me Grin!

Hope your mum was ok.

Absy · 30/07/2013 11:28

There was one MNer who's DM and DSF are NOT to be disturbed for three hours on a Sunday afternoon or something, purely for shagging purposes (and the poor MNer asked "why three hours?" and the DM responded that it takes a while for her to get going).

I had friends at uni who's upstairs neighbour was quite "vocal" (so much so she woke them up repeatedly), so I suggested going around one time, knocking on the door loudly and ask whether or not she was being attacked.

ThePowerof3 · 30/07/2013 11:33

Heard my DM and stepdad at he time all the bloody time

SirBoobAlot · 30/07/2013 12:01

I overheard my GRANDDAD have sex with his girlfriend on our sofa when I was young.

freddiefrog · 30/07/2013 12:05

I've never seen them, but I did come in one night when I was about 18 and hear the bed springs creaking like mad. I had to slam the front door to announce my arrival. All went quiet after that.

No one has ever caught me at it

MotherOfNations · 30/07/2013 12:09

superman Hamp? You're Glaswegian aren't you.

We've been caught several times. The time that sticks in my memory was when dd2 then aged 7 walked in and asked what we were doing. Dp told her we were using the bed as a trampoline to which she retorted "Most people jump on their feet, not like this" and proceded to do the "actions". Later that day on a crowded bus she said "You better stop using the bed as a trampoline or you might get a baby in your tummy".

Another time I turned to see ds then aged 10 pull a vibrating cock ring out of his pocket. I quickly snatched it from him saying "Where did you get that?" he asked what it was and quick thinking I used it to tie my hair in a ponytail and told him it was a vibrating hairband used for relieving migraines.