to think my dad shouldn't have done this (I don't know how cross to be!)

[MorganMummy]

I'm genuinely not sure how cross I should be.

My dad has a convertible and my DS (2.7)loves cars. We were getting ready to go swimming when staying at my parents' a few days ago, and my dad took DS outside to sit in the car (which was on the drive),which he's done once or twice before. When I came out the car was in the garage and my dad told me he'd driven the car into the garage with DS in the passenger seat - no seatbelt, and obviously no child seat so even a seat belt not very helpful.

I was quite angry as I said even though it is a tiny tiny chance, what if my dad had a heart attack and car lurched forwards (or similar). It was literally a case of driving 10 metres or so on a sloping driveway, so I know the chance of danger was infinitesimal. However, I also believe in avoiding easily avoidable hazards. My dad clearly didn't think I would mind and wasn't secretive about it.

I told my dad he needed to promise me never to do that again. He didn't take me seriously and tried to make a fake jokey promise but I made him do a proper promise. Then I dropped the issue as we were all going out and I didn't want to have a big discussion.

I can't discuss with my DH as he would be furious and I don't want to put his relationship with his PIL under strain. But I know my dad and my mum think I was being OTT and as I've thought about it more I really don't know? Am I being PFB (I know I can be) or is it a generational thing but reasonable of me?

[exoticfruits]

The aim is to get children to risk assess for themselves and not blindly follow rules without thought. Of course you shouldn't undo the belt as you turn into your own street, most accidents happen near the home, but if you go out onto your drive, specifically to move your car a few metres into the garage, then you do not put on a seat belt because you are in first gear and hardly moving.

[Justforlaughs]

Agree in the long term exotic, but OPs DC is only 2yo.

[exoticfruits]

Therefore at 2 years old you are the one to strap them into the car seat and if they are going out of the drive it will be done so I can't see the problem. Grandad would have strapped him in had they been driving anywhere.

[exoticfruits]

I believe in children doing as you do and not as you say. Had her father asked her to put the car away would she have put the seat belt on? I doubt it.

[MadeOfStarDust]

but - the intention was specifically to drive very slowly a short distance into the garage -

has no one on here ever mistakenly put their car into reverse instead of forwards, lurched off a touch too fast, knocked into a wall (however slowly it can bloody shock you), touched the accelerator instead of the brake.

Nobody intends to do it.... but I do remember from past threads on driving that it is all too common. Some of us would put the seatbelt on to move the car anywhere.

[exoticfruits]

In that case every adult should be putting on their seat belt to go into the garage- personally I have always got my car into the garage perfectly safely - without any of the above.

[exoticfruits]

I would agree that if you put it on to go in the garage then the child should copy. I can't see why they should if you don't- grandad clearly never does.

[Goldmandra]

The speed involved in such an event wouldn't be enough to cause the child serious injury. It would be the same as if he were riding a push-along toy and hit a wall.

If you are sure that an airbag couldn't go off there is no reason to be concerned. In fact the child is safer in the car without a seatbelt than outside the car while it is moving around. I don't know for sure if there is a minimum speed and what cars it applies to so I don't take the risk.

Two year olds can and do risk learn to risk assess for themselves. It's a really useful skill which they are capable of using at a certain level. They do, of course, need an adult to monitor and manage the situation too and to lead by example - the best way to teach IMO.

[diddl]

I don't get why an adult wouldn't strap a child in-even if they choose not to strap themselves in.

I'd be more thinking of the child climbing than an accident, though.

[Loveitall]

Just reading through this thread and I have to ask....what does pfb stand for ?

[Goldmandra]

Precious First Born

[Goldmandra]

Or Precious First Baby

[Loveitall]

Aaahhh, thanking you x

[exoticfruits]

They are moving all of about 100m at snail's pace!
Do people know what risks they run driving into a garage- hitting the accelerator and crashing into the back wall-going into reverse and hurtling backwards?

[exoticfruits]

It takes me a matter of seconds- if the 2year old isn't sitting still I wouldn't move- they would have to be a quick climber. Also since you are hardly moving you just immediately stop the car and grab them.

[MadeOfStarDust]

nicely PA exotic

[MadeOfStarDust]

that was to the "Do people know" post

[exoticfruits]

When you leave DCs with grandparents you can't control- you are not there. You either have to trust or not leave them.

[mummytowillow]

Are you being serious? Completely over the top

[JenaiMorris]

MadeOfStarDust in 15+ years of driving I have never done any of those things. I can't believe people hit the accelerator instead of the brake, or go into reverse rather than first, on a regular basis. Anyone who does really ought to avoid driving

[Justforlaughs]

OK, really wasn't going to post this anecdote but in light of Jenai's post I just had to. The other day, in the Supermarket carpark, an elderly lady hit the accelerator by mistake, took out two "crash barrier posts things", the bench and knocked it straight through the very flimsy wall into the cafe, knocking over a table and chairs! Fortunately no-one was hurt, but while the chances are remote, these things do happen. Still think the OP was a bit ott though.

[MorganMummy]

mathanxiety you will just have to take my word for it that my DH is in fact gentle and lovely, since I know him and you do not. I meant that he would be annoyed at what he would also see as a risk. We are both over-protective of our DS, probably. After thinking you won't have a child for 7 years and much heartache you are not always entirely blasé and completely neutral when assessing risk.

I would put my seatbelt on to drive my dad's car, or my own, even into the garage - for me it's automatic and I wouldn't drive my day's car anyway as I am not insured to do so and it's too shiny and scratch-free!

I have spoken to my dad and apologised and he said he would never do anything to endanger DS. We just had a difference of opinion on what constituted an acceptable risk here (his car does have airbags and I am rather conscious of their dangers, being a shorty, though I was unaware of how much speed a car could or couldn't pick up going into a garage so was overestimating that risk).

Thanks to the encouragement and kind posts after I came back yesterday. Won't post again and hope this thread dies as I have admitted IWBU and think the situation is resolved, but I wanted to correct mathanxiety's assumption about my DH as I shouldn't have brought him into this and the love and kindness he has towards me and DS is a huge blessing in my life which I feel uncomfortable about being questioned about.

[SarahStrattonIsBackForJustABit]

I can understand it though, I am ridiculously PFB about LittleDog. I won't take him to beach by myself, just in case the stupidly tiny chance of him being dognapped by a dogfighting gang comes true. I know this is irredeemably OTT of me, but I have nightmares about it happening.

I think we should all be very grateful that I'm past having babies. I'd be a bloody nightmare, and all over these pages asking stupid questions.

[Pagwatch]

[SarahStrattonIsBackForJustABit]

You understand, don't you Pag? Please tell me you do. Lie if necessary.