To spend £151 without consulting DH?

[D0oinMeCleanin]

Because the twat is ignoring me, as he normally does when I need something that costs more than my weekly wages and needs to come from our savings.

My glasses have broken. We are entitled to an NHS voucher towards the cost of this, but I often end up having to pay anyway. Last time (2 years ago) I had to pay £80, this included costs towards the frames I chose and thinning the lenses. My voucher covered the other £100 and something pounds.

I am off to Tesco now to inquire about a new voucher and price up how much my glasses would be with my voucher, in the meantime I've found a website that offers free lenses with designer frames and a free pair of glasses with each pair of frames you buy, so I could get one pair of regular glasses and one pair of sunglasses and still have my whole voucher for future use if I needed it.

Obviously if Tesco is dramatically cheaper using my voucher, I will do that, if it's barely cheaper or no cheaper at all, WIBU to order the ones online using our credit card (the one which the bill is paid in full each month from the savings account, if it's been used)?

I will not see DH now until the 1st of August and he refuses to discuss these things with me simply choosing to not answer his phone in the hope that I go away and forgot about what I wanted.

Our savings more than cover the cost of the frames. I cannot wait until the 1st because then they will not be ready for our holiday and I am not going on holiday in glasses held together by cellotape. Even ordering them today would be cutting it fine for delivery so it needs to be done now.

AIBU? We normally discuss bug purchases but I have to wait until I catch him at home. I'd still need to use the credit card to pay towards the cost of the Tesco ones if it came to more then £50 which is likely.

[thechildrensparkle]

Just a thought - if your glasses have broken - can't you claim on your house insurance? Broke mine once and got everything bar the excess.

£151 isn't' much for a complex prescription - mine were £650 recently and not with expensive frames either.

FGS you go to work - open your own savings account and start salting a bit into it for a bit of independence, even if it's only a fiver a month.

This is utterly ridiculous All women should have some of their own money about which they do not have negotiate when spending it. £151 isn't a lot to spend for a working woman especially on something essential.

[ChazsBrilliantAttitude]

We have separate finances as the business money is in DH's name (self employed ) and the family money is in my name. We do discuss bigger purchase like holidays and car insurance but wouldn't discuss glasses purchases as the are essentials.

Each month DH gives me his credit card bill and I pay it, I rarely even read it. If he needs cash from the savings he just asks me to transfer it to the joint account which I do. He is an adult I don't need to supervise his spending and I don't want to.

[ChazsBrilliantAttitude]

The issue isn't how you finances are organised, the issue is that he is controlling your access to money. I think he is doing that to control you because he believes he is the superior person in the relationship.

He thinks he is worth a £180 luxury purchase but he doesn't think you merit a cheaper essential purchase. He quite literally values himself more highly than you.

[soapysam]

Glasses are a medical application. I would get them in a heartbeat and tell him to wipe it in his hair!

[Snazzyenjoyingsummer]

What Chaz said. That is the issue and all the scurrying around working out how to get cheaper glasses doesn't deal with it.

[nkf]

Buy the glasses. Put them on. Take a good hard look at the shit you are married to.

[BadLad]

I don't have access to the savings account without asking but he never says no. We normally have to have an argument about it, but I always get it when I need it.

Why is there an argument it he never says no?

Do you mean that he does actually say no, but you manage to talk him round?

[kezLOU1977]

OMG I can't believe you have to "ask" to buy glasses! I wear glasses and have contact lenses too and I didn't ask my dh if I could buy them as I am an adult who can make a informed decision about my needs to live and work safely! If I don't have the correct eye wear I can't drive or do anything really so it is a nesessity to my life! We are not rich and buying glasses leaves a big dent in our bank account but that's better than the alternative. Plus, your glasses are actually faulty now so it is urgent that you get them replaced especially if you need them to drive or operate machinery.