To spend £151 without consulting DH?

[D0oinMeCleanin]

Because the twat is ignoring me, as he normally does when I need something that costs more than my weekly wages and needs to come from our savings.

My glasses have broken. We are entitled to an NHS voucher towards the cost of this, but I often end up having to pay anyway. Last time (2 years ago) I had to pay £80, this included costs towards the frames I chose and thinning the lenses. My voucher covered the other £100 and something pounds.

I am off to Tesco now to inquire about a new voucher and price up how much my glasses would be with my voucher, in the meantime I've found a website that offers free lenses with designer frames and a free pair of glasses with each pair of frames you buy, so I could get one pair of regular glasses and one pair of sunglasses and still have my whole voucher for future use if I needed it.

Obviously if Tesco is dramatically cheaper using my voucher, I will do that, if it's barely cheaper or no cheaper at all, WIBU to order the ones online using our credit card (the one which the bill is paid in full each month from the savings account, if it's been used)?

I will not see DH now until the 1st of August and he refuses to discuss these things with me simply choosing to not answer his phone in the hope that I go away and forgot about what I wanted.

Our savings more than cover the cost of the frames. I cannot wait until the 1st because then they will not be ready for our holiday and I am not going on holiday in glasses held together by cellotape. Even ordering them today would be cutting it fine for delivery so it needs to be done now.

AIBU? We normally discuss bug purchases but I have to wait until I catch him at home. I'd still need to use the credit card to pay towards the cost of the Tesco ones if it came to more then £50 which is likely.

He just keeps mumbling "Scup, gerror" our dog is not is not called Scup and has not been taught what gerror means. I should help him really, but I haven't.

Glasses are a huge part of a person's appearance. If you wear them all the time they are as important as your hairstyle, your clothes - everything. They are part of what you actually look like and should never be skimped on.

Make sure you can access all joint funds without having to go through your DH.

God forbid anything should happen to him, but if it did, you'd be screwed for some time.
And you're married! You shouldn't have to ask permission for what is really a medical necessity.

OP it sounds like you and I have similar eye issues. I've got scarred eyes too but from a horrible illness, and I have -8.5 in one eye and -6 in the other, so can't really leave the house without mine! If I didn't get the thinned lenses it would be sooo uncomfortable. I didn't know about those cheapy goggles either! I hardly ever go swimming nowadays because the fumbling around the pool like Mr Magoo is just too much hassle and embarrassing!

Woohoo. My contacts finally arrived, so I no longer need to walk around in Jack Duckworth style glasses, at least not for some of the day anyway. I can only wear contacts for a max of 12 hours a day, but that's fine. I can put them in after lunch and wear them for the gym and work.

I also now have swimming goggles, not in my exact prescription because Tesco sell them straight from the counter and each of my eyes has a different prescription but they make a massive difference. I can actually see, okay, so I'm going to look like a bit of a fool queuing up for water slides in goggles, but I will be a fool who can see, so I don't care. I wonder if slides are scarier if you can actually see them?

And a white van man shouted something vaguely complimentary at me on the way home from Tesco. I know we are not supposed to like this but "Smashing knockers, love" is infinitely better than "Oi, fat cunt" which is what I've been used to the past few years.

I suspect the dog will have spent the entire night confused. DH got himself into such a state that he brought the wrong dog to bed . My dog is not allowed upstairs. It's his dog that normally sleeps with us. He'd left his dog downstairs on my dog's bed and brought my dog to bed with him He must have actually invited him up because he was on the bed and he never gets on the bed without being invited, on the rare nightly occasions he does break into our room, he sleeps on a pillow next to my side of the bed.

I can only assume this was to appease me in someway. It didn't work, I am quite happy for my dog not to share the bed, he rolls in shit almost daily, cat shit, fox shit, horse shit, bird shit, it's all the same to him, he's an equally opportunity kind of dog when it comes to shit This is why I trained him not to get on the furniture without permission. At least he decided to sleep on DH's side of the bed and not mine.

And the goggles were only £10, so I am now £20 up, or I would have been if I hadn't just spent £40 on Amazon on hair treatments and self tan for my holiday.

You need glasses that aren't sellotaped. I might send him an email with a link saying what you intend to do tomorrow and then do it if he hasn't replied. If your prescription is up to date, I'd get a cheap spare pair online for future emergencies. I've had several pairs from selectspecs for £8ish and they're absolutely fine.

I managed to buy cheap goggles online where you could have separate prescriptions in each eye to the nearest quarter.

Ooh I want prescription goggles. I've got a very high prescription (get a voucher) and different in each eye. I'd love to know where is good.

I also get an NHS low income voucher this time but no idea how that works as I'd still need thinning etc. I was assuming specsavers was the place to go. Is it not?

(sorry not relevant to thread directly and I've skipped a few pages . Doing - why are you with him? I've heard you talk about him before, what do you get out of the relarelationship? Of course you need glasses. I'm so impressed with you weight loss. I've not managed very much so far!

D0oin, I find it so sad that you are ignoring all the comments referring to your scumbag husband. I hope you're taking some of the comments on board despite ignoring them here.

I've lost another 3 kilos. I wish he would use stones and pounds like normal people when he tells me this, so I can be pleased when I find out instead of having to go home and Google I've been doing low GI and lots of exercise.

The goggles I bought are just one strength, so I got the highest one I need and whilst I couldn't drive in them, they're going to be perfectly fine for swimming.

You can get different strength lenses for each eye in these ones they were the cheapest I could find online, but I was worried they'd not arrive on time. I am keeping them in mind for the future though.

Specsavers still charge for lens thinning with the vouchers. I've used them before. I'm not sure if they're cheaper than Tesco or Asda. You can mention that you're entitled to a voucher and ask for prices at various places. Your voucher won't be used unless you actually order some glasses.

Dh has a very strong prescription, there is no way he could cope without get the lenses thinned - they'd be so heavy!! Glad you splashed out, funny how your dh loses his phone yet needs to keep the cards on him so they don't get lost...

Dh's glasses and contacts are about £800 in total

OP, I'll ask again. Do you have access to the credit card account, or the savings account, without having to ask him for the card? Be honest about what's going on.

I don't have access to the savings account without asking but he never says no. We normally have to have an argument about it, but I always get it when I need it.

The CCs are all in his name but if I really wanted something, I could use them because it's our money that pays the bills.

Sod the price and get the nicest ones you are happy with and look the best on you. People who only wear glasses for vanity or who have never HAD to wear them can be incapable of realising that we are stuck with our choice for 2-3 years or so and can't just change them on a whim to match an outfit without expense. Thinning lenses are also so much lighter when wearing glasses for over 12 hours a day.

Ask him to get you put on the accounts then. Why waste time arguing about every purchase? Do you have a bad credit history (and does he)?

How could you use a CC if they are in his name?

Chip and pin.

It's joint savings but you don't have access to it without asking ? That's really scary !

Why do you know his pin nos?

Isn't it better just to have your own?

If he won't put you on the account, then I would open one of your own and start paying whatever of your wages normally goes into savings into that one, so you have control over it. There is still the issue of his excessive control over joint money but it'd be a step in the right direction.

HERE is the link to Money Saving Experts Cheap Glasses Deals
You need to keep checking it (or subscribe ) and wait until a good deal comes up. I don't know how well it works for people with strong prescription but its bloody amazing for me. WHICH has this article about online glasses. They found they were not good for glasses other than simple lenses under +/- 5.

I have used both LensDirect and Glasses Direct and have paid about £20 - £30 including delivery for the last six or eight pairs! I get the simplest packages but the frames are 'designer' frames. I have a pair in my handbag, a pair by my bed a pair in the car.... Etc, you get the picture.
They have all arrived very quickly and I have liked all the frames. They have also all fitted well. I try and buy frames with the same dimensions of ones I already own and like so that I can be more sure I will like them once they arrive.

You just have to wait until the really good deals come up.

👓👓👓👓👓👓👓👓👓👓👓👓👓👓👓👓👓👓👓👓👓👓

It never ceases to amaze me how easy it is to be made to feel guilty by partners - a lovely lady I know who runs her own business with eminent skill is still awaiting permission from her other half to purchase an i-pad (sorry if mispelt, I'm mega untechnical!) for God's sake!

Personally I would just go out and buy it if I have enough nounce to run a business I would assume I have more than sufficient nounce to spend within my budget.

I do feel sorry for people who get manipulated like this and would urge you to stand your ground and to do as you see fit.

Why do you need his prior permission to access monies,that's outrageous
You work?you need to get your wages in a sole account if he makes you ask prior to spending
Shared account is meant to be shared pooled finances,not he call shots

The phrase 'should have gone to specsavers' has never been more appropriate for this thread.

This is not about the glasses.

The OP does not need a prescription, an optician, a website or a discount code. She needs a divorce. Sorry to be blunt but it makes me gasp that in the UK a working woman needs her husband's permission to buy something essential for her to live. He is an abusive bully.

Get your own credit card and your own bank account.

Doing, i have to agree with Tondelayo's post. There seems to be a massive issue here you don't see.

"I don't have access to the savings account without asking"