To spend £151 without consulting DH?

[D0oinMeCleanin]

Because the twat is ignoring me, as he normally does when I need something that costs more than my weekly wages and needs to come from our savings.

My glasses have broken. We are entitled to an NHS voucher towards the cost of this, but I often end up having to pay anyway. Last time (2 years ago) I had to pay £80, this included costs towards the frames I chose and thinning the lenses. My voucher covered the other £100 and something pounds.

I am off to Tesco now to inquire about a new voucher and price up how much my glasses would be with my voucher, in the meantime I've found a website that offers free lenses with designer frames and a free pair of glasses with each pair of frames you buy, so I could get one pair of regular glasses and one pair of sunglasses and still have my whole voucher for future use if I needed it.

Obviously if Tesco is dramatically cheaper using my voucher, I will do that, if it's barely cheaper or no cheaper at all, WIBU to order the ones online using our credit card (the one which the bill is paid in full each month from the savings account, if it's been used)?

I will not see DH now until the 1st of August and he refuses to discuss these things with me simply choosing to not answer his phone in the hope that I go away and forgot about what I wanted.

Our savings more than cover the cost of the frames. I cannot wait until the 1st because then they will not be ready for our holiday and I am not going on holiday in glasses held together by cellotape. Even ordering them today would be cutting it fine for delivery so it needs to be done now.

AIBU? We normally discuss bug purchases but I have to wait until I catch him at home. I'd still need to use the credit card to pay towards the cost of the Tesco ones if it came to more then £50 which is likely.

[DeepPurple]

You need new glasses so buy new glasses! DH and I discuss most purchases, especially if we are short on money that month. He certainly wouldn't begrudge me spending money on new glasses or any other health items.

I would personally go to the optician for them rather than the web though.you can check they suit you and ensure they fit properly. Most opticians do a buy one get one free offer so you could still get the same deal.

It staggers me how much glasses cost! We both wear lenses and hadn't had a new pair of glasses each for 6 years so we went together to get some. Even though having lenses gives us either a bogof deal or £80 off a pair we still managed to spend £380 between us for one pair each! We did have all the lense thinning and light retraction blah blah blah but still!

[DeepPurple]

Oh I see you have glasses now!

[SirBoobAlot]

"No, he keeps the cards in his wallets because he wants to keep you on a very short financial leash."

This. Exactly this.

He is financially controlling and abusive.

[Lweji]

LTB

Really.

[AnnabelleLee]

But you know that. Still haven't left him yet?

[littlemisswise]

You can't keep going on like this D0oin. He does it because he can, because he can get away with it.

DH and I discuss big purchases but if my glasses broke, which were £64 for a normal pair and a pair of sunglasses from Specsavers, he would not bat an eyelid if I went out and bought new ones without 'asking'. He'd think I was bloody mad if I did ask.

[chipmonkey]

Dooin, I am an optometrist and sadly have seen a lot of women who buy cheap glasses which don't suit them at all because their dh's don't "let" them buy nice ones. Oddly enough if the same dh comes in for specs, he buys himself exactly what he wants and needs. Drives me nuts and I always want to say something and have to bite my tongue not to.
He's financially abusive. Glasses are something you NEED and a football membership is not. Why should he get something he wants and expect you to do without something you need
Tesco dispenser sounds lovely!

[nobeer]

Just get the glasses! You cannot go around with broken glasses. I've done it and it's awful and uncomfortable. Would he begrudge you a prescription for essential medicine? And get ones you like, especially if you wear them all the time.

[scottishmummy]

You both work whats the beef spending your own money
If I were you I'd get separate personal accounts, joint for shared stuff

[Gruntfuttock]

You can probably get a pair cheaper if you shop around/online, but you need them so you should have them.

On a personal note, I buy my glasses from Asda, a pack of 2 pairs for £2. They may not look exactly stylish but the prescription is identical to the first pair I bought (from Specsavers) and they work perfectly, and because of that fact I can't bring myself to pay any more, because it seems such a pointless waste of money.

[nobeer]

I've just seen you've found some nice glasses. Good. But your post has really upset me maybe because I am really short sighted and can't live without glasses, you're not in a partnership. He's not treating you as an equal. But from what other posters have said, you've heard this all before. Please think very carefully if this is really how you want to live your life, and if you think this is a good example for your DC.

[aldiwhore]

If a wheel fell off your car you'd pay the money without question.

You eyes are falling off your face for goodness sake, it's a necessary purchase!

YANBU.

Your "D"H is forgetting that you are a unit. You, the car, him, your needs, the washing machine, his needs, the bills... something is broken, it needs fixing, it should come out of the 'pot'.

I suggest you get two savings accounts. Rainy day money and long term payoff, keep them apart!

Keeps it simple.

[TondelayoSchwarzkopf]

You have to ask your husband's permission before buying glasses? What part of Saudi Arabia / the 16th Century do you live in?

Seriously what SirBoob said, he is a financially controlling bully. Cannot believe you put up with this

[propertyNIGHTmareBEFOREXMAS]

OP, you have posted about this twat before. You need to leave him. He won't find any respect for you anytime soon. Don't let yourself continue to be treated like this. Buy the glasses and tell him to fuck off.

[Iaintdunnuffink]

You get a voucher? Is its eye test work related or due to poor eyesight?

I have a high prescription but not registered partially sighted. I would not get glasses off the net, unless I was very sure what I was ordering. Glasses are a necessity to me to get about. The fit, frames and lenses all have to work for me. Glasses taped together do not fit and give you good enough vision.

[devonsmummy]

I got glasses from Asda - anti glare & anti scratch coating included & thinned lenses (depends how bad your eyes are!) for just £79
I'm sure it was 2 pairs for £99
But no ynbu

[D0oinMeCleanin]

My voucher is for poor eyesight, what bothers DH is not solely the money, it is that I can get my whole prescription for free, frames included, if I get cheaper frames and don't get lens thinning or any of the other things that I have done to them. He doesn't like that I add extra expense to something we are entitled to get for free.

He seems to believe that I immediately discount the free frames and lenses (he's right about the lenses without thinning I'd look like I was wearing milk bottles) but the frames, I do not automatically discount the cheaper frames, tbh I don't even look at the prices until I've picked. I chose the ones I like the most and that I think suit me the most, not what is cheapest or most expensive, for something I have to wear on my face all, day every day I think that is fair enough. It's not like I am leaving us without food to do this. I'm just dipping into savings he'd prefer to hoard for next year's holiday.

[YouTheCat]

Yes but it's okay for him to spend almost twice as much on football. That's just not right and not fair.

Why shouldn't you have glasses that are nice and suit you?

[chipmonkey]

Dooin, for eyecare I know the UK is better than here ( Ireland) but seriously, unless you are absolutely on the breadline, you should NOT be getting the free glasses if you have a high prescription. Your lenses would be horribly thick and you have to wear them all day every day.

Have you posted about him before? There is something horribly familiar about this.

[ChazsBrilliantAttitude]

Since when has a football season ticket been anything but an out and out luxury?

[Gruntfuttock]

Oh, well now you've said that you could get lenses and frames free, I will say that I would definitely do that, because I would feel that I was simply throwing away £151 which I would never be be able to justify to myself, even if my husband was saying he was perfectly fine about me spending the £151 to get what I wanted.

I would feel that the £151 was a complete rip-off I'm afraid and wouldn't want anyone charging that to 'get away with it'.

I do realise I am completely on my own with this opinion though, but felt I had to be honest about what I would do. It just seems such a terrible waste. Mind you, who's going to take any notice of someone who's admitted to paying £1 for her glasses?

I just have no class.

[deleted203]

Do it. And buy yourself some new holiday clothes at the same time. And if the arsehole complains I would say, Try answering your fucking phone next time I ring then.

(I find it completely bizarre that you should live in the same house as someone and not be able to communicate with them for 5 days because they won't answer the phone, in the hope that you will fuck off and stop bothering them. Unless they are 15...)

[foodtech]

You can't get unthinned lenses. That's mental. If you get a voucher you must have really bad eyesight so your eyelashes would touch the glasses. Also they are really heavy, I bet he wouldn't go around wearing really heavy glasses that touched his eyes.

[Snazzyenjoyingsummer]

Are you on the credit card account, OP? Or any of the bank accounts?

[WilsonFrickett]

But Grunt clearly the op can't just pay £1 for her glasses ...