To spend £151 without consulting DH?

[D0oinMeCleanin]

Because the twat is ignoring me, as he normally does when I need something that costs more than my weekly wages and needs to come from our savings.

My glasses have broken. We are entitled to an NHS voucher towards the cost of this, but I often end up having to pay anyway. Last time (2 years ago) I had to pay £80, this included costs towards the frames I chose and thinning the lenses. My voucher covered the other £100 and something pounds.

I am off to Tesco now to inquire about a new voucher and price up how much my glasses would be with my voucher, in the meantime I've found a website that offers free lenses with designer frames and a free pair of glasses with each pair of frames you buy, so I could get one pair of regular glasses and one pair of sunglasses and still have my whole voucher for future use if I needed it.

Obviously if Tesco is dramatically cheaper using my voucher, I will do that, if it's barely cheaper or no cheaper at all, WIBU to order the ones online using our credit card (the one which the bill is paid in full each month from the savings account, if it's been used)?

I will not see DH now until the 1st of August and he refuses to discuss these things with me simply choosing to not answer his phone in the hope that I go away and forgot about what I wanted.

Our savings more than cover the cost of the frames. I cannot wait until the 1st because then they will not be ready for our holiday and I am not going on holiday in glasses held together by cellotape. Even ordering them today would be cutting it fine for delivery so it needs to be done now.

AIBU? We normally discuss bug purchases but I have to wait until I catch him at home. I'd still need to use the credit card to pay towards the cost of the Tesco ones if it came to more then £50 which is likely.

[MoominsYonisAreScary]

Buy them now!

[Snapespeare]

lensway have an offer on vera wang until monday. i've ordered from them before, good service, glasses are fab, i get lots of positive comments on them.

and yes, they're essential. buy the cheap vera wang and get yourself something lovely with the change. :)

[D0oinMeCleanin]

Right am off to Tesco to ask if they have my contacts in stock yet and check the voucher situation, but I've decided since he's spent £180 on a fucking football ticket that causes me no end of trouble sourcing child minders so he can attend matches without checking with me first, I am going to order which ever glasses I like the most, either what Tesco offer me or what Glasses Direct have.

The twat should have picked up one of the many messages I left him if he wanted to discuss this with me, I know he's had his dinner break since I left the first message.

[MairyHoles]

I agree about just getting them. I wear my glasses all day every day and I think of them in terms of hourly or daily cost. Last time I bought glasses my partners eyes nearly popped out of his head when I told him the cost. Until I pointed out his 70 quid dress shoes were worn once for 3 hours and my glasses will work out to less than a pound a wear. They aren't optional and spendingmmoney on glasses that feel and look good in is money I don't grudge spending which is easy for me to say when I don't work.

[YouTheCat]

Why do you sort the child care if he wants to go to football?

Surely if child care is needed because you're at work, he should sort it out himself or not go.

[SirBoobAlot]

You've posted about him before, haven't you? He's still a prick. He refuses to answer his phone in the hope you'll forget what you wanted to discuss with him?

Get the glasses. But they're the least of your worries.

[Justforlaughs]

Get the glasses and if they cost less than his football ticket, treat yourself to a facial/ haircut or something else as well! And then show him this thread!! - actually don't do that, just tell him he's acting like a prick

[whois]

I can't believe you even had to ask MN. You need asses. Buy them. End of.

[whois]

GLASSES. NOT ASSES!

[trinity0097]

Please take a look at Asda prices, you can get two pairs for £99, which includes any thinning necessary for your level of prescription, they accept all the usual NHS vouchers, so you might find you have to pay very little. My glasses used to cost about £250 from specsavers after my NHS voucher, but I now get my two pairs form Asda at the 99 rate and they then take off my voucher (about £15!).

[ApocalypseCheeseToastie]

Specsavers are doing free sunglasses and thinning at the mo........im blind as a bat, my eyes are so bad I get a voucher higher than the usual inequality and I've never paid more than £30 extra for mine.

[allmycats]

Get your glasses but do think twice about buying on line if you have anything other than a bog basic prescription, and don't buy from they if they don't ask for the PD's , or optical centres as you do need these. I work in a small independant and we have a sale on at the moment on lots of designer frames, including Armani/Prada/Dior/Karen Millen/Bulgari etc all around the £50 to £100 mark. We also dosome really fab frames and lenses offers at £50 per pair, but with thinning this would cost you about £75 per pair.
If you do get your spx on line and don't use your voucher you can use your voucher against the contact lenses.
Then start looking for a new DH.

[YouTheCat]

I don't think OP should go and find the cheapest glasses. I reckon she should get the most expensive she can afford (from joint funds) because her husband is a twat of the highest order.

[phantomnamechanger]

my Dh would not only insist I had the glasses asap, he would tell me I could spend more if I wanted and did not just need to go for the cheapest option. same with other necessary not frivolous things eg new winter coat. He would do this EVEN IF it meant him having to go without something he was really looking forward to.

This is about more than your specs OP, you need a proper talk about finances if you can't even replace something essential.

wasn't there a similar thread a while ago - a DH had, without telling his wife, bought adult DD (wifes DSD) a new hoover but would not let wife have new specs and was playing "but she will always be my DD and you are only my wife" card.

[D0oinMeCleanin]

I ended up ordering them from Tesco. I couldn't find the pin to the credit card and the twat still would not answer his phone. He had 'lost' it apparently, funny how he found it within 5 minutes of receiving a message that said "I am at gym at 8am in morning. Will be in bed when you get in. Pls leave savings card on drawers in front room. I owe X £100. TIA"

I wasn't going to go and get the most expensive just to piss him off. I wanted the ones I liked the most, regardless of their price. These are something that I have to wear day in, day out for 2 - 3 years, I want something I'm going to bloody like and not just the cheapest I can find.

I don't like the ones in Tesco to look at as much as the ones online but the man there made me try on almost every pair in the shop and in the end insisted on a pair I would never have chosen for myself because "They frame your face beautifully and really highlight your eyebrows and the colour of your eyes. You have gorgeous, defined eyebrows, never, ever over pluck them, they match your dark hair too and that shape suits your face very well, much better than the last pair you chose, I'd have never let you leave with them if I'd been here" Another customer agreed they really suited me, much more than my own do.

I really liked that man. I considered bringing him home to keep

I also got some sunglasses. £102 it ended up costing and my contacts will arrive in the morning so I only need to look like Jack for one more day, which is good.

Ordering the glasses tomorrow might have been too late, as it is they may not arrive until the morning we leave, but we don't fly until 1pm, so although it's cutting it fine, I should get them in time.

[YouTheCat]

Yes, that one sounds like a keeper.

Glad you got some glasses.

[SofaKing]

What whols said. Get yourself some asses, that'll teach him :)

Seriously though, it sounds like you have to get more access to your household's money, what would happen if the kids had an emergency and your partner doesn't bother to answer the phone? Could you be left in a situation where you couldn't get to the doctor because you didn't have access to money?

[D0oinMeCleanin]

I doubt it Sofa, I have my wages, but only have £50 left of those now. I normally run out of money on the Sat and get paid Sun plus we live within 2 mins walking distance of the local emergency center. I get your point though and have pointed out several times that if something went wrong at home that required immediate attention and he had all the credit cards/savings cards on him, we'd be screwed. He doesn't listen though. He keeps the cards in his wallet because then they won't get lost

[WilsonFrickett]

No, he keeps the cards in his wallets because he wants to keep you on a very short financial leash.

[Wibblypiglikesbananas]

I can't believe you're online trying to justify buying a pair of glasses! Of course they're essential. And of course they'll cost a bit. But they're not an item you'd 'negotiate' with your DP about - or at least not in a relationship that wasn't financially abusive.

DH and I discuss relatively big purchases, but anything to do with healthcare is considered essential and we'd just go ahead.

Great that you got the glasses you wanted in the end - but FGS don't feel guilty about it!

[YouTheCat]

If it is a joint account then you should have a card too.

Tbh he sounds financially abusive to me. Why should you always end up short at the end of the month and have to ask for cash for something essential when he blows £180 on a season ticket?

[ChazsBrilliantAttitude]

I agree with Wilson. I have seen your previous threads, he is keeping the cards as a means of financial control over you. You can get two cards on the same account.

[Almostfifty]

I have a credit card on my DH's account, and I also have one in my own name, just in case.

Tell him if he doesn't get you one on your joint account, you'll get your own and that will solve the problems.

[sparkle12mar08]

You keep posting about him and nothing ever changes, does it? I'd go as far as to say you're in a financially and emotionall abusive relationship. He is not going to magically get better, is he? Have you plans to get out at all? What happened to your uni/education course?

[scarlettsmummy2]

Do it