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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to think that an 'estimated' due date in 2013 is not good enough

81 replies

Thyeternalsummer · 26/07/2013 11:40

Getting exceedingly p'd off with the whole EDD thing. 38 + 6 today and baby theoretically due next Saturday. But of course could have been born at any point in preceding two weeks, or two weeks after.

Which is a bit crap really. They probably predicted baby's due date with as much accuracy 500 years ago.

Surely there must be some statistical analysis taking into account baby's size, previous pregnancies, mothers weight/height, genetic indicators etc which would let you predict with greater accuracy than 'some point within x four weeks'.

Bet if it was men that got pregnant, your due date would be calculable down to the hour and you'd receive daily count down text reminders!

As you can tell, I'm a bit fed up!

OP posts:

eurozammo · 26/07/2013 11:41

I think you just need to cool off a bit.

Ice cream time?

ImNotBloody14 · 26/07/2013 11:42

Yeah but then you'd have idiots sueing hospitals when their dcs werent born before emmerdale on tuesday

If you want to know exactly- book a caesarian.

Alibabaandthe40nappies · 26/07/2013 11:45

The unreliability of it is to prepare you for the fact that you can't predict what the baby is going to do once it is here.

If you need that level of control you need to try and chill out just a little

Gobbolinothewitchscat · 26/07/2013 11:46

I can understand exactly how you feel. But I don't think it's lack if research - the Royal Vollege of Obs freely admit that they are not 100% sure what triggers labour spontaneously. They know about the obvious hormones etc but a lot of research is currently being done as it would assist with inductions etc

Growth scans are notoriously inaccurate so they do t really help

I don't think the hot weather helps and it must be really unpleasant. I had DS in November but I was quite relaxed about when he came. I did hypnobirthing and one of the principles if that was the baby would come when ready. That helped me a long...a bit!

Chattymummyhere · 26/07/2013 11:48

It would be great...

Your baby is due on X day...

They need a good test for it, they got my dates very wrong since I had a 3week early baby born 5days past due date.

whyno · 26/07/2013 11:48

Feeling for you. It's a miserable time of year to be heavily pregnant, isn't it?

I am constantly shocked by how little is known about pregnancy despite it going on forever.

maja00 · 26/07/2013 11:48

You are right to an extent.

The length of pregnancy as generally calculated (266 days from conception) was decided on a couple of hundred years ago and is slightly random. Actually spontaneous, uncomplicated births in first pregnancies tend to happen 274 days from conception, and 269 in subsequent pregnancies.

However, I don't think there is a way to take into account the individual interactions between mother and foetus in an individual pregnancy that set off labour, or how long labour will last.

SirBoobAlot · 26/07/2013 11:48

They come out when they're ready.

Lonecatwithkitten · 26/07/2013 11:49

There are so many unquantifiable factors affecting when a baby is born that is why it is estimated. I work in the veterinary field and even with bulls who will have thousands of offspring in their lives with all kinds of complex data kept we can still only get an estimated due date. What we do know is that 'bull factor' is one of the biggest affections of due date, but not how much by.

cory · 26/07/2013 11:50

Original poster

Thyeternalsummer · 26/07/2013 11:58

I do need to chill out! I'm just sooo fed up of being pregnant.

What I'm really struggling with is the lack of a 'definite' date I can say, it will all be over by x point. I'm a runner and one of the things that really helps me get through difficult sessions is the knowledge that there's only a certain number of miles, minutes left and after I pass a certain landmark etc, then I can stop. Similarly I really struggle in exercise classes where I have no idea how long I need to sustain an effort.

My midwife has got really narky with me trying to pin down the absolute LAST day I could be pregnant i.e clarifying the earliest point for induction and how soon that could be scheduled with the hospital etc.

OP posts:

motherinferior · 26/07/2013 12:02

Sorry, love, I know it's vile being pregnant but really babies do vary. Seriously they do. As do mothers, circumstances and different pregnancies.

alistron1 · 26/07/2013 12:05

Labour is initiated by a hormonal surge from the baby. That's impossible to predict accurately.

ImNotBloody14 · 26/07/2013 12:05

Well you do know it will definitely be over by 44 weeks! No-one stays pregnant that ling so i think you'd be safe planning to have a drink that day

PostmanPatAlwaysRingsTwice · 26/07/2013 12:07

Well even an induction date wouldn't be a due date, my induction took 5 days start to finish with DS finally being hauled out 16 days late

cory · 26/07/2013 12:08

Ah you poor thing. But it will pass, this baby will come out, and you will have lovely, lovely summer birthday parties and treat days out to look forward to in the years to come.

Afraid you will have to let go of the whole control thing though now that you are going to be a mother. There is no such thing as pinning down the exact day when your lo will be ready to be potty trained/come out of the terrible two's/be mature enough to put the loo seat down (if of the male sex) or grow out of the pink princess stage (if female). Well not unless you set a really generous date. Chances are they will be potty trained by 9. And will not have 2yo tantrums during their university interviews.

But then we can do that for your pregnancy as well. OP, I absolutely promise you that your baby will be born by the 9th of November. There, did that help?

P.S. As for the loo seat- no, that really is out of human control. It's one of these things that Providence uses to make us remember our insignificance on this planet. Valley of tears and all that.

ChimeForChange · 26/07/2013 12:10

YABU

Lonecatwithkitten · 26/07/2013 12:10

I feel for you I really do as a huge planner myself. My beautiful, but very awkward DD taught me that babies and children make you loosen up In this area. Originally due to being breech she was going to be born on 22nd December, she turn 48 hours before this so that was cancelled. Her EDD was 7th Jan, on 31st Dec I had check up with GP I had I thought BH GP said no proper contractions - hmmm that all stopped after 12 hours. 7th came and went nothing. I eventually had induction on 19th started to labour at 9pm, saw consultant early on 20th congratulations today will be your baby's birthday. She was eventually dragged out at 10.12am on the 21stJan. Life with her has been pretty much like that for the last 9.5years you can make plans, but sure as hell she will toss in a curved ball and they will go to pot.
If I could go back there again I would sit on the sofa feet up on cushion watching as much crap TV as possible, because I think I've been on the treadmill for the last 9.5 years.

chesticles · 26/07/2013 12:14

I can sympathise, I also like to count down to things, but I made the BIG mistake of counting down to estimated due date with DD1 and ended up pretty much crying and going slowly insane for the 2 weeks that she was overdue. I'd held ti together for 40 weeks and the need to carry on with it all for what seemed like an infinite time was just too much
With my 2nd pregnancy I was so determined to not get into such a state I concentrated on 40 +14 as I figured out there was no way I could go any longer than that. I didn't factor in that 2nd pregnancy was twins so they turned up at 35+6. But that was so much better than being overdue.
Focus on 40+14 is my best advice. You will definitely still not be pregnant by the end of August!

NotintheMiddle · 26/07/2013 12:15

Lonecatwithkitten - a friend of mine (farmer's wife) explained the bull factor to me. She also reckoned it could be similar in humans.

She had three dc all who arrived 5 days early. He 4th dc was 2 weeks late. How I to myself

maja00 · 26/07/2013 12:19

44 weeks will definitely be the latest you are pregnant!

They will probably want to induce at 42 weeks, but if they are busy/have no beds/it's a weekend they might put it off a few days, and then the actual induction/labour might take a few days. I know a couple of people who had their babies at 43 weeks.

northernlurker · 26/07/2013 12:24

You cannot rationalise this. it's just too odd. I have a friend who has three dcs like me. 1 four weeks early, 1 two weeks early and 1 on due date. i have three too. 1 two weeks late and the other 2 one week late each. So I have been pregnant for TEN weeks longer than she has to produce the same number of dcs. HOW IS THAT FAIR?

SoupDragon · 26/07/2013 12:25

You will definitely have had the baby by Sept 1st.

HTH!

Treagues · 26/07/2013 12:26

YABU: researchers have tried to work it all out but it's simply too complex and there are too many outside factors when you consider the influences that work on the pregnancy over approx 40 weeks.

HoneyDragon · 26/07/2013 12:27

My babies both came out on the first day of my maternity leave.

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