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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think that an 'estimated' due date in 2013 is not good enough

81 replies

Thyeternalsummer · 26/07/2013 11:40

Getting exceedingly p'd off with the whole EDD thing. 38 + 6 today and baby theoretically due next Saturday. But of course could have been born at any point in preceding two weeks, or two weeks after.

Which is a bit crap really. They probably predicted baby's due date with as much accuracy 500 years ago.

Surely there must be some statistical analysis taking into account baby's size, previous pregnancies, mothers weight/height, genetic indicators etc which would let you predict with greater accuracy than 'some point within x four weeks'.

Bet if it was men that got pregnant, your due date would be calculable down to the hour and you'd receive daily count down text reminders! Wink

As you can tell, I'm a bit fed up!

OP posts:
WandaDoff · 27/07/2013 01:52

BUT.......

DS1 was born on a sweltering night in July,

DD was born on an horribly hot night in August,

So I have suffered with the heat, & I know how exhausting & downright grim it feels.

I suggest a tepid bath, or a paddling pool & pretty much refusing to move from there until it is time, & as many ice creams/lollies/ice pops as you can handle.

Bogeyface · 27/07/2013 02:05

I completely understand your frustration! I went overdue with all but one of my 6 and had 4 inductions.

The reason it is an EDD is because, regardless of what our bodies are doing, the baby gets the casting vote, sorry!

Bogeyface · 27/07/2013 02:07

I read a very interesting article that said that the reason that most women (80%) go overdue is becaue EDD's are calculated wrongly. It said that 41 weeks is actually the average and so anything from 38 to 42 shoud be considered normal and that induction for post dates shouldnt be considered until week 43, and then only after monitoring the baby.

SoupDragon · 27/07/2013 07:24

Don't our bodies hold off giving birth (to a certain extent) until it is "safe" to do so? A left over remnant from our days as apes. An EDD would never be exact.

HollyBerryBush · 27/07/2013 07:35

Something I was reading (many moons ago) is that different races have different average pregnancy lengths - 40 weeks is just an average. The melting pot that is the world, it would be impossible to predict an exact date because everyone has a racial mix and it might be that gene that comes to the fore.

A baby will come when it wants to.

MrsBungle · 27/07/2013 07:48

After being convinced I'd be 'early' with dc1 (as my mum had my brother and I, 2 weeks early) I was pissed off to be 8 days late.

With dc2 I told myself that my due date was actually 2 weeks later than it was so next time I was early! 4 days late

Once baby is here you will have forgotten all about this stage!

Original poster
Thyeternalsummer · 27/07/2013 08:09

Think the problem is that I've done everything that needs doing already so I'm living in the set of the baby play without the lead character. There's nothing more I can do now...if I bought any more clothes for example he'd be fully kitted out until he was 18 Wink

I'm so sceptical now when my partner talks about 'when the baby's here' ....feels like I'm humouring an elderly aunt talking to me about 'when the Queen comes to tea'.

OP posts:
ChazsBrilliantAttitude · 27/07/2013 09:55

I did a load of cooking and filled the freezer with meals to help in the first couple of weeks.

Otherwise RELAX you won't be doing much of that when the baby turns up.

ZingWidge · 27/07/2013 18:56

I think there should be Best Before End date.
if baby's not born by then, mum would be induced or would have ELSC on BEE day.

no-one would ever again have to feel like a failure for being late as baby could only ever be early or on time.

problem sorted, job done

< bangs gavel >

LilPeasMama · 27/07/2013 21:36

That's it eternal I know exactly what you mean!
I reckon you should get a boxset on DVD and put you're feet up, oh how I wished I would have not seen Prison Break or 24 now, Gavin and Stacey maybe? What about Luther, I cannot recommend this enough, great programme!

revealall · 27/07/2013 21:49

Mine was 10 days out according to doctors dates.
I had only had sex once the entire year and was exactly on the average (266 days) when I worked it out.

ArgyMargy · 27/07/2013 21:52

YAB totally U. You are a woman, not a machine. Silly moo.

meditrina · 27/07/2013 21:55

There sort of is a BBE date - 42weeks. Perhaps there should be more focus on the 2 week "window" rather than trying to tie it down to a day? Especially as stress hormones tend to delay onset.

50shadesofmeh · 27/07/2013 22:08

Um no babies come when they are ready there is no exact science

maddening · 27/07/2013 23:33

Any films you haven't watched? Tv series that you fancied but never got round to watching? Books to read? May as well sit back and eat cake, enjoy nice cups of tea (not luke warm ones) and enjoy the calm before the storm :)

TheDetective · 27/07/2013 23:48

There isn't a BBE date, as the placenta doesn't suddenly expire at 42 weeks Grin.

OP, with DS2 I didn't want to be induced. I went 20 days past EDD in the end. First DS was also 13 days past EDD too.

With DS2 I got a positive pregnancy test on day 20 of my cycle. Due to him being so overdue, I actually knew I was pregnant for 10 months and 1 day! Grin

It did feel like the longest pregnancy ever, but I didn't get fed up. Just enjoy it for what it is - as boring and crap as that may seem.

He's mega a mega stubborn baby by the way. I think he just started as he wanted to go on!

Your baby will be here by 16 days after the EDD most likely. Aim for that. :)

Bogeyface · 27/07/2013 23:57

The problem with people saying "Enjoy the calm before the storm" is that its like telling a child that its nearly Xmas but not telling them the date it will happen. Everyday they run down hoping for presents and every day you say "nope, not today, maybe it will be tomorrow". We want the big day, and every twinge makes us think "Is it today?".

If we had a definite EDD then we could focus on that. People saying "Oh I really enjoyed my PG, I read all the books I hadnt had time for" is really fecking annoying!

maddening · 28/07/2013 09:14

The detective - there is a natural expiration "date" though - placentas start to deteriorate between 40-42 weeks - obviously this varies from one person to another so some such as yourself may last longer.

Bogey - yes I know you can't help the anticipation but sometimes as an adult you can just sit back and try and relax a bit and remind yourself to enjoy it as well - it's also the kind of thing some wish they had done more of instead of getting stressed. Especially as short of induction or cesarean there's not much you can do. In addition being stressed isn't conducive to labour starting.

outragedofsuburbia · 28/07/2013 09:32

I think in the modern western world we are too used to having control and being able effect our environment. In birth we can't and it really seems to concern some women and their partners and makes them anxious. The only way we can gain control is c-section and even that can have unpredictable outcomes and unforeseen future consequences. Induction is a very unpredictable process although people send to be under the misapprehension it's a case 1+1 = baby.

You really would be better off trying to let go of these feelings of control because when your lively baby decides to arrive all organisation and control will go out of the window!

outragedofsuburbia · 28/07/2013 09:33

I meant lovely baby although will be lively too I am sure.

DidoTheDodo · 28/07/2013 09:34

You're lucky to be pregnant.
Just chill and wait as women have always had to do.

hobnobsaremyfavourite · 28/07/2013 09:44

oh lighten up dido

SoupDragon · 28/07/2013 09:45

That's helpful Hmm

mrsspagbol · 28/07/2013 09:56

As someone sat here at 40 plus 7 i feel OP is VVV reasonable.

Should I ever be expecting again, I feel they should not bother with giving me an EDD - it reall doesn't suit my my
controlling personality type.

diddl · 28/07/2013 10:14

When I went into labour & phoned my ILs to come over & look after PFB, they got into a right tiz.

Mil asked me what she should do with the casserole she had put in the oven & handed me over to FIL.

He asked me what time I would be having the baby so that they knew how long they would be staying.ConfusedGrin

Husband had to prise my fingers off the door frame as I wailed that I wanted a home birth...