To have made my self look six months pregnant for this work event?

[Turry]

Oh this is ridiculous. Please don't shout 'YOU'RE A TWAT!' at me I am too sorely aware! Here's what I've done:

1. got constipated. That's where it started. I'm breastfeeding a toddler, it's been very hot, I've not been drinking enough water. No loo trip for over a week, constantly feel I need to go but just cannot. No movement whatsoever.

1. panicked about important work event to attend tomorrow night, first time I'll see colleagues post maternity leave. Noticing that my stomach was slightly showing the strain of zero loo visits, by making my planned dress look slightly tight around the middle, I decided I needed lactulose. ASAP!

1. Bought lactulose yesterday, couldn't wait to get home to take it, and get things, erm, moving, so took a glug in the car, in retrospect, quite a BIG GLUG! When I got home a couple of hours later I took another spoonful, you know, just to be safe!

Long story short, my stomach has BALOONED - I mean, husband seeing me and doing dramatic double take BALOONED! Even my elasticated waste pyjama bottoms won't stretch that far BALOONED!

WTF do I do now?! Please, please somebody tell me WTF to do?!!! Only been to the loo once since lactulose overdosage. Keep thinking what I might need is yet more lactulose, but that cannot, cannot be right now can it? Maybe some senator or something? SOMETHING has to get rid of this bump - I can't even go to baby group like this, much less a bloody corporate dinner!

PLEASE HELP! :(

The only product works for me without bloating me up is Psyllium Husks as they are not wheat based like fybogel and movicol - I'd try reducing the amount of wheat that you eat as it's and added ingrediant to loads of foods.

Glad you are human shaped again

Well done! Love a happy ending.

Lol at blocked bummers comment.

Glycerin suppository and you'll be fine!!

Thanks Turry

Have a lovely evening :)

Green tea, fennel tea, nettle tea- you'll be shitting like a trooper after a few cups.

Lol, seen your update, glad you managed it.

Practically a birth thread, this

Congrats

A happy ending, phew. Another side note to say my boy (19 mo in nappies) ALWAYS poos in the library! I had no idea it was a thing, why????

Congratulations Turry! Now, did the Bounty lady get a picture?

Congratulations, Turry, hope you enjoy the party now that things are back to almost normal!

I'm a librarian and suddenly our very messy loos make much more sense.... I miss having staff toilets.

Post partum poo issues I started with Lactulose but once that hadn't done the trick after 6 days I got onto the lemon flavoured Fybogel. Bliss! (And buy some extravagent moist wipes to ease the ring sting)