To have made my self look six months pregnant for this work event?

[Turry]

Oh this is ridiculous. Please don't shout 'YOU'RE A TWAT!' at me I am too sorely aware! Here's what I've done:

1. got constipated. That's where it started. I'm breastfeeding a toddler, it's been very hot, I've not been drinking enough water. No loo trip for over a week, constantly feel I need to go but just cannot. No movement whatsoever.

1. panicked about important work event to attend tomorrow night, first time I'll see colleagues post maternity leave. Noticing that my stomach was slightly showing the strain of zero loo visits, by making my planned dress look slightly tight around the middle, I decided I needed lactulose. ASAP!

1. Bought lactulose yesterday, couldn't wait to get home to take it, and get things, erm, moving, so took a glug in the car, in retrospect, quite a BIG GLUG! When I got home a couple of hours later I took another spoonful, you know, just to be safe!

Long story short, my stomach has BALOONED - I mean, husband seeing me and doing dramatic double take BALOONED! Even my elasticated waste pyjama bottoms won't stretch that far BALOONED!

WTF do I do now?! Please, please somebody tell me WTF to do?!!! Only been to the loo once since lactulose overdosage. Keep thinking what I might need is yet more lactulose, but that cannot, cannot be right now can it? Maybe some senator or something? SOMETHING has to get rid of this bump - I can't even go to baby group like this, much less a bloody corporate dinner!

PLEASE HELP! :(

Definitely the glycerin - the side effects of all medication are terrifying when you read them. Who would ever give Calpol to a poorly child if they believed that it might induce convulsions, cirrhosis of the liver, or death?! Go for the suppositories, but don't go more than a few metres from the loo if you do, they act quickly!

Oh poor you , I hope you get it sorted .

Twisting your upper torso and keeping bottom half still - this will get things moving. Or a walk - hence slightly archaic name of a 'constitutional'.

Oranges and grapes...

You need water. Lots.

Senna a is a stimulant, i.e. it stimulates the bowel to move things along.
Lactulose is an osmotic laxative, like bran. It holds water in the bowel, to get the poo big and soft and make it easier to pass and less likely to get stuck. But if you don't drink enough water, it will just give you gas as the bacteria in the gut break it down. Problem is, you were probably already a bit too far along before you started the lactulose i.e. you hadn't been for a week.

So I would give a glycerin suppository a try now. That should get the most compacted stuff out (sorry!), the lactulose you have already taken should make the rest of it easier to come out
Good luck :)

Another suppository vote here.

Oh and i'm not sure why you're a twat. You tried to treat constipation with a laxative. Nothing twattish about that....

Drink 500ml of water with lemon then do 3min of steps in 1min bursts. Wait 15min and repeat. It is my fail safe solution .

Exercise!! go for a brisk walk - nothing like it to get everything moving!

Love the library suggestion. Am the same!

Do like the French & get a big box of suppositories

I second the yoga poses - much easier to do near a toilet than going for a long walk! Good luck op.

Trampoline

Bounce

BUT if your pelvic floor isn't good you will need a Tena :)

Oh no feel your pain.

My DS gets this badly - he takes laxido (same as movicol)
Would also suggest magnesium hydroxide if you can take that whilst breastfeeding. Its got antacid properties in it as well so releases some gas and stops the reflux caused by the back up.
Also have used glycerine suppositories.

Yes yes yes to bouncing - do you have a gym ball? Or sitting on toilet blowing up a balloon or blowing bubbles helps. Sit with feet up on the loo seat. Crouching type position helps.

Joining Turry Poo watch couldn't help it
I don't think the potential side effects of the suppositories sound anywhere near as bad as the discomfort you're already in. I would avoid eating anything for a while and just keep your fluids up.
Send DH off to the chemist now and keep us posted pleeeeeaaaase.

Nettle tea? it's VERY good at 'getting things moving' as it were, it has never failed me yet!

lots of good advice here, I'd echo water, coffee and marching up and down the stairs.

Nobody's mentioned Microlax - it's a little enema in a tube - magic!

WATER!!! in huge amounts, and ring the doctor???

It really does sound like you were too late to do anything useful from the "top end" as it were.

Fig biscuits.

homemade enemas

Take Senna as well to attack from the top end (it's a stimulant laxative unlike Lactulose so you can take both).

Use 2 Glycerin Supps to attack from the bottom end.

Also drink lots of fluid.

Sorry I mean take 2 Senna (Senokot) tablets now, then do the supps. Should work quite soon.

If the supps don't work then get the GP or Nurse at the local surgery to give you an enema.

After using supps try to hold them in for 20 mins or until you get the urge to go.

*Definitely wear a pad / sanitary towel as you may get leakage after supps / enema.