to have told the child in the supermarket to please stop staring

[twilighteyes]

At the self service checkouts, I noticed a little girl (perhaps 7 or 8) looking at me. I had an "unexpected item" so assumed that was why she was looking, but then I became conscious of it and realised she was staring at me! I don't know why, as I wasn't wearing anything unusual and I don't think that I look remarkable, either in a positive or negative way.

As we were going out she was staring again and when I was getting into my car she and her mum (I presume) were getting into the one next to me and she was just staring. It was really making me feel uncomfortable and I said "hi, is there something I can help you with?" Girl turns scarlet, gets into the car and mum drives away. As I drove off she was staring again.

AIBU to think this is really rude? It made me feel really disconcerted (and yes I have checked and my skirt isn't in my pants or anything!)

Er, I think that was the point - they should know because they should have been told by their parents that it's rude to stare.

You asked a 7 year old whether there was something you could help her with?

YWBU and the rude one was you, not the young child.

Procrastinating duh yes...but she never SAID it.

YANBU, and I think the heat must be seriously getting to some people. I don't believe anybody would feel 100% comfortable with being stared at for as long as described in the OP.

Yes it's a child and there's lots of understandable reasons why she might be doing it, but it would still feel weird. 7ish years old is enough to have been taught not to stare like that.

Why? Children should be told that picking their nose and eating it is 'socially unacceptable behaviour' as well but many aren't. There isn't a manual of Things You Must Tell Your Children by a certain age. What is 'staring' anyway? When does 'looking' turn into 'staring'? Lots of children will be able to understand that early on but many won't. Poor girl!

When I read the title I was all for saying YANBU as my DS is a "starer" and I explain it is rude etc to no avail but often think if someone he was bothering actually asked him to stop it may make him feel just as uncomfortable and maybe make him stop it!
However, YABU as you didn't ask this child to stop staring, you asked them a really odd question which they probably didn't understand.

What I don't understand is whether the op told the girl to 'stop staring' (as in the title) or asked if she could help her. Either way, I think being bothered by a child staring is odd. Op must have been staring at her for most of that time to realise anyway.

I'm surprised a small child could make you feel this uncomfortable! If a child was staring at me I would just smile or pull a funny face to make them laugh.

But you didn't ask her to stop staring did you? you asked a passive aggressive question which probably went totally over her head, but as you turned her scarlet you obviously said it in such a way as to make her feel uncomfortable.

Lots of kids stare.

Ive had kids stare at me, sometimes a smile will get a smile back and they look away, then you get them looking back coyly for another smile...im happy to oblige with a few free smiles for their trouble.

Then you get the frowny starers who when smiled at started to frown, they get a poked out tongue from me and I move on. [though sometimes the tongue poking out gets a smile out of them!]

I understand you have anxiety problems OP, but I do thnk you were a little harsh with her, I always look at peoples intentions and its highly likely that she meant no harm.

You should've stuck your tongue out at her, that would have stopped her

Saying 'stop staring' would upset the child.

What she said wouldn't surely? I'm sure the child at 7/8 understands the question. Not necessarily the subtext though.

I can't believe how mean you were to a CHILD. Get over yourself please!

comedycentral well you certainly made me laugh, though that probably wasn't what you were intending. Get over yourself indeed!

Got to say if you had said that t my child you would be getting a nice big mouthful back from me. How horrid. That little girl could have had special needs. Or failing that she could have just been a little girl that you ( the adult ) bullied. Rude and horrid.

Oh and re your anxiety issues. You do realise you may well have just started issues in that little girl ???

You didn't really tell her to stop staring did you? You just asked her what you could help her with ....and then she carried on staring.

That little girl could have had special needs. Or failing that she could have just been a little girl that you ( the adult ) bullied. Rude and horrid.

The OP asked her if she could help her with something...is that bullying? Flipping hell, talk about overreacting.

I think you were quite mean really. Children in my class do this all the time.

Bullied!

I think the heat's driven everyone demented!

Slightly passive aggressive rather than bullying. Rightly or wrongly, she was just a young girl, staring, like some children do

I agree that sticking tongue out was the only correct response, if one was needed.

Snort its like when the kids are arguing and I get: "Muuuuuuum he is looking at me".

I always stick my tongue out at kids. Their reactions make me laugh.

Crossing your eyes whilst poking out tongue works well too. And wiggling your ears.

I'm confused. So you said 'hi is there anything I can help you with?'

Then why does it say in your title you asked her to stop staring please?

Two completely different things

You should not have said anything to her if you could not be civil. What sort of question is that to ask a child you were rude full stop.

Come off it. If you were shopping with your child and someone said this to your child you would have all gone mental. Along with screaming about perverts and child snatchers. The op is clearly a loon. Simple.