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Original poster

Would I be unreasonable to say no to this wedding request, or should I grit my teeth and try?

205 replies

babybearsmummy · 22/07/2013 10:53

I'm a cake baker by trade, but since the end of my pregnancy I decided to cut my workload down and only bake for family and friends occasions.

My friend got engaged a year ago and one of the 1st things she did was call to ask me to make her wedding cake and I was very excited for her, especially when we'd get a few mins here and there to plan it.

2 weeks after asking me, she emailed me to say that she and her fiancée had decided to go with another cake maker as her fiancée's family had always used that company for their special occasions and her o.h had presumed they would just have that company. I was futted but thought it was their day so no point getting upset.

She messaged me yesterday in a state as the wedding is on Friday and her the company has pulled out of making their cake last week. I've called my suppliers this morning but they can't get everything I need sorted until Wednesday at the earliest, leaving me with just a few hours on weds evening and Thursday evening to make it. I don't have anyone to look after dd as my o.h is working til 7pm this week and his parents are not well and there's no one else close to have her. And I don't think I'd want her to be away all day for 2 days as it's not fair on her (if I'd even get it finished in 2 days as I'd originally planned 4-5 days to get it all done)

So would I be really horrible and unreasonably selfish to say no to her? Or should I just try to get something together for her in the space of those 2 evenings? WWYD?

OP posts:
diddl · 25/07/2013 22:20

Sounds to me as if you could all do with a rest tomorrow!

SunshineBossaNova · 25/07/2013 22:23

What a miserable cah she is - I hope your little people get well soon.

Emilythornesbff · 25/07/2013 22:35

If your DP is poorly he won't be any fun at the wedding will he?
Can he look after dd while you go?

ZillionChocolate · 25/07/2013 22:56

If you drop out at the last minute, she'll still have to pay for you (probably). Expect a tantrum if she notices.

Thumbwitch · 26/07/2013 05:41

If you do decide not to go, which I have to say sounds reasonable under the circs, I would cite the general poorliness of your family as the reason. But I think whether or not you go you might have to kiss this friendship goodbye.

LadyClariceCannockMonty · 26/07/2013 11:01

I agree with Thumbwitch, I'm not sure the friendship will survive ? or that it'll be much of a loss if it doesn't ...

Sorry your household is unwell and hope you all get better soon!

diddl · 27/07/2013 07:58

So it's today?

Wonder if she managed to get a cake, or if OP or any of her family are going?

CruCru · 27/07/2013 08:44

This is a really good thread. Professional cake bakers and weddings.

I couldn't imagine making a proper wedding cake in the heat and presumably (if you're like me), you don't have room in the fridge to keep it.

Hope you have a nice day no matter what happens.

Tanith · 27/07/2013 09:52

I do agree with MissStrawberry, though.
When did all this Bridezilla-ness start? I got married 18 years ago, they sent the wrong cake and I didn't even notice until I saw the wedding photos - much less cared: it was still beautiful. Wrong colours and decoration, mind. Clashed with my MIL's dress (oh my!).
But the taste? Oh divine!!! Smile

DamnDeDoubtance · 27/07/2013 10:04

Did you go op? Smile

diddl · 27/07/2013 10:10

It was yesterday, wasn't it, not today?Blush

So, c'mon OP.

MNers waiting for an update here!!Grin

Hope you're all OK, btw.

CeliaFate · 27/07/2013 10:39

Did you go OP?

CruCru · 28/07/2013 09:52

So what happened?

LindyHemming · 28/07/2013 10:15

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

WireCat · 28/07/2013 10:25

If my partner & baby were ill I wouldn't go. Only because the ill partner couldn't look after the ill baby.

Just been talking to my dh about weddings as he saw eat I was reading.

He says weddings are mad nowadays. And bloody expensive for guests.

Fillyjonk75 · 28/07/2013 10:25

I'd point her in the direction of the John Lewis off the shelf wedding cake department and also their silk flowers. Then she can buy some Fimo and make a cake topper. Sorted.

Basically what I did, except MIL wanted to make the cake, so she did. But it was basically plain white three tier, decorated by silk flowers and a cake topper made by yours truly. I didn't want to spend £350 on something that was hardly going to be seen and then eaten within hours.

Fillyjonk75 · 28/07/2013 10:28

^He says weddings are mad nowadays. And bloody expensive for guests.

The thing is people were saying that about weddings nine years ago when I got married. I saw no evidence of madness in our wedding or in any others I went to. Depends who your friends are I think.

Justforlaughs · 28/07/2013 10:32

SO??? Did you go to the wedding OP??? and what was the cake like??? Grin

MidniteScribbler · 28/07/2013 10:52

It amazes me how helpless some people can be. Cake maker sick - go buy a few packet mixes and some sparkly sprinkles, problem solved. Guaranteed that not oneof her guests would comment about it.

SignoraStronza · 28/07/2013 10:57

Of course you would not be unreasonable. Point her in the direction of M&S or Waitrose. They do quite a good range and would get them to her in plenty of time for the wedding.

FrankelInFoal · 28/07/2013 11:01

Wedding was a few days ago!

ProphetOfDoom · 28/07/2013 11:13

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

BeesGoBuzzzzzz · 28/07/2013 11:15

I'm interested to know if op did attend and how it all went.

2rebecca · 28/07/2013 12:11

Sad your friend has behaved like such a plonker. The bakery didn't pull out, they had one member of staff with an illness. It wasn't an emergency at all, just a bridezilla attack.
Hope she hasn't ruined the friendship and gets over herself and the wedding went well.

Cakebitch · 28/07/2013 12:37

Reputable cake suppliers do not let you down with one week to go.They pull out all the stops , working all night, if they have to
. Whats the betting too that your friend wants you to do it not only ridiculously last minute, but for cheaper than she would have paid??? This is the reason i do not do cakes for friends and family.
Do not do it.