Would I be unreasonable to say no to this wedding request, or should I grit my teeth and try?

[babybearsmummy]

I'm a cake baker by trade, but since the end of my pregnancy I decided to cut my workload down and only bake for family and friends occasions.

My friend got engaged a year ago and one of the 1st things she did was call to ask me to make her wedding cake and I was very excited for her, especially when we'd get a few mins here and there to plan it.

2 weeks after asking me, she emailed me to say that she and her fiancée had decided to go with another cake maker as her fiancée's family had always used that company for their special occasions and her o.h had presumed they would just have that company. I was futted but thought it was their day so no point getting upset.

She messaged me yesterday in a state as the wedding is on Friday and her the company has pulled out of making their cake last week. I've called my suppliers this morning but they can't get everything I need sorted until Wednesday at the earliest, leaving me with just a few hours on weds evening and Thursday evening to make it. I don't have anyone to look after dd as my o.h is working til 7pm this week and his parents are not well and there's no one else close to have her. And I don't think I'd want her to be away all day for 2 days as it's not fair on her (if I'd even get it finished in 2 days as I'd originally planned 4-5 days to get it all done)

So would I be really horrible and unreasonably selfish to say no to her? Or should I just try to get something together for her in the space of those 2 evenings? WWYD?

[Emilythornesbff]

Ha. I too want cake.
Can we have a cake emoticon?
Aren't you tempted to phone the patisserie to find out what happened? (under the guise of calling them to see what they can do? )

[MissStrawberry]

Don't make the cake.
Don't do anything to do with cake.
Don't give it another thought.

I am sick of hearing that planning a wedding sends you crazy and making excuses for rude, disgraceful behaviour. There's just non for it. Maybe if people stopped thinking it was about a big showing off expensive day which is all about the bride then maybe they wouldn't feel the need to have a tantrum.

[hermioneweasley]

OP, you are not a shit friend! You would happily have done it when she asked first time. You spent time trying to source supplies, and they are not available. She is being rude and stroppy. Unfortunately she is unlikely to come to her senses and ever see anyone else's perspective, as crazy bridezillas don't

[tanukiton]

No nONO. Noooooooo! It is screaming NO ... You do a rush job; she hates it. You do a simple job ; she hates it. you offered your regular work ; she hated it. NOOooooo

[onetiredmummy]

I'm starting to think the poor bloody baker is off sick BECAUSE of this cake and the bridezilla attached to it !
Op I spoke today to a friend who has a baking business and made a birthday cake today. She said the icing was melting in her hands and her plan was to try again tonight when it's a bit cooler!
Well done for saying no, I applaud you.

[ThePowerof3]

You can get wedding cake from marks and Spencers

[MissStrawberry]

Please don't make the cake. If you rush it and it isn't great then people will see that and you miss out on commissions in the future.

[JaxTellerIsAllMine]

so whats the update on the cake situation? I need to know before I go on holiday.

[Emilythornesbff]

Quite jax

[justmyview]

The wedding's tomorrow. I guess the bride will be serving some cheap buns from the supermarket, and she'll be pretending that it's a post - modern ironic recession-sensitive version of cupcakes

[LilacPeony]

I was just wondering what I would do if i was about to have a wedding and didn't have the cake sorted. I reckon i would just drive from Waitrose to Waitrose buying up as many of these cup cakes as i could find off the shelf. I've had them before and they are nice! I think I've seen them in Sainsburys too in the past. What would everyone else do? (While we wait for the OP

[LilacPeony]

Or failing that maybe I would buy up a load of Mr Kipling French Fancies like this couple!

[Snazzyenjoyingsummer]

I'd fall back on M&S's finest!

[SomethingChanged]

I think you've dodged a bullet here. She's gone a bit crazy over the cake (why not let someone else from the bakery do it?) and i'd imagine despite your best efforts it won't be good enough. YADNBU.

[Emilythornesbff]

So op are you going to the wedding?


Jam tarts?


Or a Ferrero Roche tower?

[Emilythornesbff]

Freench fancies would be great lilac

[claudedebussy]

bridezilla.

what happens to people? it's so weird

[Emilythornesbff]

freench doh. French.

Or one of those big Jaffa cakes.

[FrankelInFoal]

Big Wheel 'o Cheese should do the job as a replacement

Either that or tell guests it's BYOC (Bring Your Own Cake)

[babybearsmummy]

Hiya,
Sorry, been so mad with dd these last few days, her 2 teeth next to the bottom centre teeth have decided to come through in sync and I've had to take her back to the doctors for stronger antibiotics as she's just not shaking off an ear infection. And to top it off dp has been off work sick today, so I've had 2 grizzlers to contend with. But have learned Calpol fixes all, whether you're 1 or 22!

No I didn't make her cake and told her so the other night when she larked off in a strop. She hasn't spoken to me and is ignoring my messages so I have no idea what's going on.

Really not sure if we're going tomorrow either, as I don't think it'll be fair to drag my poorly people out! Doubting that'll go down well :/

Thanks for the comments, very glad I didn't do it in the end, I'm nackered this week. Although I have been VVVVVVV U and baked very scrummy (but uber simple) sponge cake and choc cake for dd and dp in the hope they get better soon.... But ssshhhhh!

[SauvignonBlanche]

You've done the right thing.
You'll just have to see how DD and DP are tomorrow.

[ChasedByBees]

Really off of her to be ignoring your messages. God can you imagine how bridezilla she would have gone if you had offered to make it? She wouldn't have left you alone!

[lunar1]

Good job you didn't make it with all that on your plate!

[ZingWidge]

good decision OP!

hope your family gets better and thank you for update - so annoying when there's no closure!

[Emilythornesbff]

Sooo relieved you're not embroiled in making that cake.
Can you imagine the stress?
Poor dd.