Would I be unreasonable to say no to this wedding request, or should I grit my teeth and try?

[babybearsmummy]

I'm a cake baker by trade, but since the end of my pregnancy I decided to cut my workload down and only bake for family and friends occasions.

My friend got engaged a year ago and one of the 1st things she did was call to ask me to make her wedding cake and I was very excited for her, especially when we'd get a few mins here and there to plan it.

2 weeks after asking me, she emailed me to say that she and her fiancée had decided to go with another cake maker as her fiancée's family had always used that company for their special occasions and her o.h had presumed they would just have that company. I was futted but thought it was their day so no point getting upset.

She messaged me yesterday in a state as the wedding is on Friday and her the company has pulled out of making their cake last week. I've called my suppliers this morning but they can't get everything I need sorted until Wednesday at the earliest, leaving me with just a few hours on weds evening and Thursday evening to make it. I don't have anyone to look after dd as my o.h is working til 7pm this week and his parents are not well and there's no one else close to have her. And I don't think I'd want her to be away all day for 2 days as it's not fair on her (if I'd even get it finished in 2 days as I'd originally planned 4-5 days to get it all done)

So would I be really horrible and unreasonably selfish to say no to her? Or should I just try to get something together for her in the space of those 2 evenings? WWYD?

[EldritchCleavage]

I'm with the consensus: tell her no, don't feel bad about it, but let her know pronto so she can sort out something else.

[StuntGirl]

I agree if it's a no you need to call her now and tell her. She can then make other arrangements.

[Thumbwitch]

M&S cakes.
www.makebake.co.uk/sugar-toppers-small-sugar-flowers-blue-x-200
www.thelittlecakeshop.co.uk/shop/Cake+Decorations/Sugar+Flowers/4-12.htm?gclid=CLSm-NOOw7gCFUzQpAodNVUA9w
Fresh gypsophila, asparagus fern leaves or miniature ivy (so old it must be becoming trendy again by now!) - how hard could it be FOR HER to do?
(Not you. You say no.)

[Thumbwitch]

I also agree you should tell her asap though - give her this afternoon to start scrabbling around for someone/thing else as well.

[JaxTellerIsAllMine]

just dont do it. She has dumped you, by text, emailed and hasnt bothered to have a face to face chat.

If she was that good a friend, she would have called you, or better came to see you, explained what happened and begged for help.

Nothing wrong with M&S cakes, my Dsil had one for her wedding, I decorated it with blue ribbon, 3 tiers, pillars and lovely little blue cascading (silk) flowers with diamonds and a cake topper. It was beautiful tasting and looked lovely.

[JessicaBeatriceFletcher]

Um, does anybody actually read a thread these days? The OP said at the bottom of the first page she had decided to say no.

[HorryIsUpduffed]

The cake isn't the issue. You simply can't make the flowers etc in time - because it's several evening's work and wouldn't dry out in time, particularly in this humid weather.

Don't say you can't do it, say it can't be done from scratch in that time so she will simply have to work out which off-the-shelf option she prefers. Perhaps offer to come shopping with her (and DD of course) to help her decide.

You're going to the wedding, I assume? So you can field or deflect comments or criticisms about the cake with details of the bride's being so horrifically let down at the eleventh hour by those dreadful bakers and didn't she do well, considering.

[HorryIsUpduffed]

*evenings'

Fucking phone thinking it knows more about English grammar than I do

[TheSunTheMoonTheTruth]

Good luck with the call, although I agree with lunatic you should do her the same honour and message her back! Otherwise she will get all Bridezilla on you and you will end up doing it after all!

[SlangWhanger]

I would let her know immediately. There is no reason that it should be any type of disaster for her. The M&S cakes are lovely (and cheap).

[TalkativeJim]

Don't do it.

You'll be thrust into a world of stress, if anything goes wrong it'll be your fault, and regardless you'll end up feeling shit about it because she won't be particularly grateful... it's a red flag that she still wants all the tiny details!

Don't call her - she'll cry and you'll fold.

If you must make an offer - TELL HER that there is time to do a plain x, y, z - no tiny blue flowers - whatever you feel ultra comfy with achieving.

[TalkativeJim]

Oh and btw if you're not invited to the entire wedding - no you shouldn't do it at all.

[MaryPoppinsBag]

Just text her NO!

Don't do it to yourself.

[ChippingInHopHopHop]

Don't be a dolt. Message her back (asap) and tell her that you are sorry, but there is not time for an individual to do justice to a wedding cake, but that if she calls another company up they will be set up to them at short notice.

Do not phone or you will be making a cake :)

[Oldandcobwebby]

Asda does cakes. She should get one from there. Perhaps in the shape of Spongebob Squarepants. Failing that, I recommend coffee choux buns from Greggs.

[SunshineBossaNova]

YANBU at all. Cheeky mare.

[LilacPeony]

she emailed me to say that she and her fiancée had decided to go with another cake maker as her fiancée's family had always used that company for their special occasions and her o.h had presumed they would just have that company. Well they fell on their arses with that decision didn't they! The family cake maker is not looking so wonderful now. Please find out what happened with them before you tell her no OP and then come and let us know!

[LIZS]

Whatever you can put together in the time is not going to do you or her fancy ideas justice . It is putting your reputation at stake. Say sorry no can do. I doubt it was as simple as the other baker letting them down.

[ConfusedPixie]

Don't call or, as somebody else said, you WILL be sucked into it as she'll cry and you'll feel awful and then afterwards you'll think "WTF have I gotten myself into?!"

Just message, say no, it's impossible for you to do it in two evenings, she needs to find somebody else.

[LIZS]

and if you do give her someone else to try you might want to tip them off that it isn't you who has let her down.

[ImperialBlether]

If the other company pulled out on Friday and she's only asked you today, you're not even first second choice, OP! The second she heard about the cancellation she should have been on the phone to you.

She sent you a text today. Send her a text back saying "Sorry, it'd take too long and I've no free time this week."

[ImperialBlether]

You say you haven't had time to message her but you have had time to be on here - send her a text so that she knows that option's gone.

[YellowDinosaur]

YANBU to not do this given that you don't have enough time.

YABVU to not tell her till this evening when she asked you yesterday in order to give her time to sort something out. Even if your dd is teething it will take you less time to send her a text saying what you've said here than it would to post on this thread!