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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think men don't really mind a bit of extra weight.

130 replies

JaffaMyCake · 21/07/2013 12:53

Not so much to do with my DH as its tough shit for him Grin.

My sister is made 20s and probably carries an "extra" ten pounds or so above what would be a 'perfect' body. She dresses for her figure and wears great clothes and has curvy boobs and bum, she doesn't have a flat tummy, but it certainly isn't large. She's 5'4 and probably weighs just under 10 stone a dress size 10.

Being newly single she's extremely paranoid about not being perfect and that her "weight" will put men off.

So AIBU to tell her to quit moaning unless she wants to swap for my pushing size 14 post baby body?

OP posts:
MummyMastodon · 21/07/2013 20:38

Size 10? Carrying extra weight?

Weird thread.

peteypiranha · 21/07/2013 20:38

Depends on their built. I am 5 foot 3 and was 9 stone 5 at 9 months pregnant, and I looked like a tank I was huge.

chickydoo · 21/07/2013 20:50

Cheesefondurocks.
You are right what was a size 10, 20 years ago is probably a size 6 now.
So size 10 today is possibly a size 12-14 in old money.

DontmindifIdo · 21/07/2013 20:52

Size 10 does look a bit big on most short woman, I'm 5' - and 10 is big for me. I'm currently 10/12 as I had a baby 6 weeks ago, I look fat. I need to get back to a 6 to look right - that's not 'stick thin' that's still me with boobs and thighs that aren't skinny, but above a size 8, I'll have a belly on me. I'm currently carrying an extra 5kg.

But back to the orignal question, some men like thin woman, some don't. However, it's down to your sister and how she feels about her body, if she really doesn't like having a non-flat stomach, then she should take some time to get in shape and lose the last bit she's got to shift.

DomesticCEO · 21/07/2013 20:56

Eh? Where did I argue that size 16 was healthy because it's the UK average??? Confused Hmm.

You appear to be having an argument with yourself Cheese!

CheeseFondueRocks · 21/07/2013 20:59

Not you, CEO, somebody else did.

MammaTJ · 21/07/2013 21:00

I am well above 'average' weight, what with being a 'fat cunt' but I have oodles of confidence! I think that is what makes me attractive to men. Well that and my lovely personality and intelligence. My modesty can be slightly off putting though! Grin

CheeseFondueRocks · 21/07/2013 21:01

Size 10 is slim. The average in the UK is size 16. Size 10 and curvy sounds gorgeous! Unless she is moving in circle with celebs / models, I can't imagine she would look at all large.

I replied to this. Only I didn't make it obvious enough.

Curioustiger · 21/07/2013 21:34

mammatj Grin

snotfunny · 21/07/2013 21:50

Ask a single woman what she looks for in a man and she might have a fantasy list: tall, well built, dark haired or sporty, blonde, fit...etc. Ask many married women or women in relationships whether their partner fits the description they had in mind as a single woman and I have no doubt that a sizeable proportion will have ended up with a man who is completely different. That's because what we think we find attractive and who we fall for don't always tally. It is very possible to be loved and fancied without being physically perfect - or many, many people would be forever single.

A selection of men may say that, as a whole, they don't fancy overweight women, but then maybe they meet a very beautiful, funny, interesting, kind woman who is a couple of stone overweight and fall head over heels. She needs to stop worrying.

DomesticCEO · 21/07/2013 22:03

"The average in the UK is size 16" doesn't imply in anyway that this is healthy, it just says it's average. Which it is.

Totally agree snot funny.

mammatj, I'd love your modesty Grin.

ShoutyCrackers · 21/07/2013 22:09

Worry is right - of course women who are size 10 need to cut back.

I usually stay at 9 st 7 ish. If I see 9 st 10 on the scales I cut back for a week. It makes perfect sense - if I ignored that , I'd see maybe 10 stone a few weeks later and so on and so forth: it is just a small discipline I suppose.

Ilovemyself · 21/07/2013 22:11

Any man that pushes a woman to be skinny needs to be told where to go. I think it is wrong that women have to try and live to that stereotype (if you go by the mags).

Be happy of what you have!

WorraLiberty · 21/07/2013 22:25

I don't think anyone male or female should push anyone to be skinny.

I do however think that women are far more critical of other women than men seem to be.

Latara · 21/07/2013 22:27

Of course women who are size 10 need to cut back wtf????!!!!!!

BinksToEnlightenment · 21/07/2013 22:33

I agree that to stay a certain weight, you have to work at it. It creeps on slowly but inexorably. Hovering around one specific dress size takes maintenance.

VelvetSpoon · 21/07/2013 22:34

This thread utterly proves the point that women are more critical of each other than men ever are.

The majority of nasty comments about my size have come from other women. About 2 weeks ago I was walking along the road in my sports gear (leggings and long, loose t shirt) and passed 2 very slim teenage girls, one of whom said to the other 'fucking hell look at the state of THAT'

Nice.

EdvardMonsterMunch · 21/07/2013 22:36

When i met DH i was a size 8 and 50kg.
4DĆs and 29 years together i now weigh nearly 80kg and am a size 14.
DH couldn't give a rat's arse!

TiggyD · 21/07/2013 22:36

Any man would be happier bouncing up and down on a bouncy castle than a xylophone.

It's been a long time...

Ilovemyself · 21/07/2013 22:37

Binks. If you eat a sensible diet and exercise you should be ok. I don't really class that as working at it but I guess it could be seen that way

ShoutyCrackers · 21/07/2013 22:44

Latara- what don't you understand about that? If I didn't keep a check on what I ate I'd be the size of a house. It's just basic discipline to stay as I am. How do you think slim people stay slim? By magic?

WorraLiberty · 21/07/2013 22:46

Latara what is the 'WTF???' for? Confused

Women come in all heights and body frames.

A size 10 on a 5ft 8" woman could possibly make her look underweight

The same size on a 5ft woman could possibly make her look overweight.

It's all about body size/frame/weight etc...not just clothes size.

I'm a fairly slim size 10 now but in the past I've been a fat size 10...slim all over but with a massive belly that led 2 well meaning friends to ask me if I was pregnant.

Despite my massive belly, my clothes size didn't change.

Darkesteyes · 21/07/2013 22:58

Mummy Mastodon Weird thread you say?
Come back next January and you will find at least 4 fat shaming threads like there were last time.

BinksToEnlightenment · 21/07/2013 23:00

I'm five four, have a sedentary job, naturally efficient on calories and, to be perfectly frank, prone to being a bit greedy with chocolate and takeaways. I don't think I'm that rare those things.

I stay slim by dieting and exercising every time my weight creeps up beyond a certain point. So being the size I am does take working on.

But it's the same thing really - either a constant healthly diet or playing fast and loose with it and then a maintenance diet to shift some shit. I prefer my way, just because I love to eat.

CheeseFondueRocks · 22/07/2013 00:21

Fat shaming threads you say?

I think you will find the opposite is true as well.

This thread is the best example. Woman being criticized for saying they look/are overweight at a size 10 when it's perfectly possible that due to their height, they actually are.

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