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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To give up on this date

252 replies

watchforthesnail · 14/07/2013 17:01

Had a great first date last monday, so great the second date was planned the same day, for tomorrow night.

since then hes kind of dropped off the face of the earth, what was daily contact, lots of texts and things throughout the day has dropped to something like 10 messages over 6 days. Knowing he was busy this weekend i messaged to say have a nice weekend, which he recieved but didnt reply to.

Not being one to be passive about these things i sent him a message saying i wasnt sure what was up, but that if he had changed his mind that was fine and to just let me know as i didnt want to message someone when it wasnt wanted.

He immediatley replied and told me he had been crazy busy and we would chat soon. That was 48 hours ago. Nothing since. He is away this weekend with friends but has been using his phone/internet as i can see hes updated various things.....

Second date is meant to be tomorrow. Just how long am i meant to keep hanging on waiting to hear? Some friends have said i should just wait and give him a chance, others have said to send something cancelling it.

Im in two minds what to do. Give up?!!

OP posts:
frissonpink · 15/07/2013 12:52

Sorry..he's just not that into you..

Sounds like a lucky escape!

Next!

Original poster
watchforthesnail · 15/07/2013 12:53

frankie and nhs could be a new thing :)

oh well, least im no longer hurt and upset. just peeved.

AND of course i know my instincts are right and something was up... so boo ya to those that said it was me.

I dont mind a bit of ginger... that was a tongue in cheek statement...:)

OP posts:
Original poster
watchforthesnail · 15/07/2013 12:54

if he wasnt that into me he wouldnt now be messaging....

he wants me to beg/ chase/ do something. sadly im not going to.

OP posts:
CatelynStark · 15/07/2013 12:59

Good for you!

Being peeved is far better than being hurt. He's a twonk. You're fab! Stuff him! :)

NandH · 15/07/2013 12:59

What on earth Shock

Is dating reallyyyyyy that hard! Dammm count me out for a long whileeee!

I hope you get better luck and less weirdo's soon OP!

frissonpink · 15/07/2013 13:00

if he wasnt that into me he wouldnt now be messaging....

Really. He isn't. And he would. Men are weird!

If he was into you, you wouldn't be in all kinds of mental anguish about what the hell he's thinking about/why he's texting/why he's not texting/how long since the last text/is itok to text him back now...Exhausting shit.

If he was into you, it would be easy.

Best advice I was ever given. NEXT! Move it on girl!

chansondumatin · 15/07/2013 13:01

You just need to relax, secure in the knowledge that it is likely to be At Least another ten years before this sorry waste of space finds someone worthy of the honour of being his girlfriend.

Buy yourself some fizz so you can spend the evening toasting your lucky escape.

Original poster
watchforthesnail · 15/07/2013 13:03

nandh. its worse. this hasnt been THAT much drama...That was my last ditch attempt for a while because it does get tiring.

i think i reached my weirdo quota a long time ago, but just for fun ive got a few extras or something. If you met me you would be as confused about it as i am, as im lovely :) and not bad looking either

OP posts:
Thisisaeuphemism · 15/07/2013 13:04

I don't think it's a question of whether he's into watch or not. It's a question of twat or not. He's a twat.

Original poster
watchforthesnail · 15/07/2013 13:04

chans- yeah, course :) however, the flip side of that is ive been single for nearly 5 years, because these are the sorts of men that are single. lol
catch 22

OP posts:
formicadinosaur · 15/07/2013 13:05

You sound really demanding and hard work. Sometimes people are just busy and need to crack on with things.

Thisisaeuphemism · 15/07/2013 13:06

Did you read the thread Formica?

WafflyVersatile · 15/07/2013 13:07

nonsense.

Original poster
watchforthesnail · 15/07/2013 13:08

formica - yeah tis all my fault. must have scared him off... poor man.
Hmm

OP posts:
CatelynStark · 15/07/2013 13:13

Oh FFS! RTFT! Sheesh!!

formicadinosaur · 15/07/2013 13:21

The new rules, the dos and don'ts for the digital generation

You need to get this book from amazon. It will tell you what you are doing wrong.

peggyundercrackers · 15/07/2013 13:26

sorry im with formica - you sound hard work. if i was on the other end of your txt messages as soon as you sent the get out of jail free txt - i would be thinking your not that into the date and are not the fun happy person i want to be with and would switch off from there because you are already speaking about getting out.

your first date sounded pretty casual and your second even more so but i think you were expecting more.

megsmouse · 15/07/2013 13:27

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

formicadinosaur · 15/07/2013 13:28

He does sound like a tit but if this sort of thing is happening regularly it might be good to do things a little different

Hopingitwillallbefine · 15/07/2013 13:28

I hate the notion that women have to learn what they are "doing wrong" with men in relationships and should learn how to behave properly so that men will like us! Just be yourself and try not to over think things - if he likes you (and is not a twat) and you like him, things will progress in a stress free way. Simple.
Sorry OP I posted yesterday to say I thought you were over thinking it - looks like your instinct was right. He sounds like a waste of time and energy, when you meet the right guy it will feel easy and that's how you'll know.

Original poster
watchforthesnail · 15/07/2013 13:30

im not doing anything ' wrong' and im not needy. but cheers for that Hmm

OP posts:
Feminine · 15/07/2013 13:31

I've just read all of your tread.

I don't think you did anything wrong...dating has moved on a lot since my day!

But...stop it with the mean ginger comments. You let yourself down there!

Good luck in the future.

Original poster
watchforthesnail · 15/07/2013 13:31

more so since his last message was that he thinks he needs to look at himself and have a proper think about what he wants in life.

so, clearly NOT my problems or anything i have done wrong.

OP posts:
Feminine · 15/07/2013 13:32

*thread.

Original poster
watchforthesnail · 15/07/2013 13:33

i was joking about the ginger comment.

i fancy tim minchin. hes ginger. it was tongue in cheek and ive already said that.

OP posts: