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Original poster

To give up on this date

252 replies

watchforthesnail · 14/07/2013 17:01

Had a great first date last monday, so great the second date was planned the same day, for tomorrow night.

since then hes kind of dropped off the face of the earth, what was daily contact, lots of texts and things throughout the day has dropped to something like 10 messages over 6 days. Knowing he was busy this weekend i messaged to say have a nice weekend, which he recieved but didnt reply to.

Not being one to be passive about these things i sent him a message saying i wasnt sure what was up, but that if he had changed his mind that was fine and to just let me know as i didnt want to message someone when it wasnt wanted.

He immediatley replied and told me he had been crazy busy and we would chat soon. That was 48 hours ago. Nothing since. He is away this weekend with friends but has been using his phone/internet as i can see hes updated various things.....

Second date is meant to be tomorrow. Just how long am i meant to keep hanging on waiting to hear? Some friends have said i should just wait and give him a chance, others have said to send something cancelling it.

Im in two minds what to do. Give up?!!

OP posts:
Original poster
watchforthesnail · 15/07/2013 12:13

and then hes said he feels bad and is more hastle than he is worth and its no wonder why he is single.

i have replied and said that i might tend to agree :)

OP posts:
curryeater · 15/07/2013 12:13

THE END. do not engage any further. He wants your pity. You have better things to do with your energies. Move on. Nothing to see here.

chansondumatin · 15/07/2013 12:14

"Commit more of my time"?! What an arrogant arse.

Original poster
watchforthesnail · 15/07/2013 12:15

jesus, what the hell is wrong with people.

i wont engage again.. but fucks sake.

OP posts:
missmarplestmarymead · 15/07/2013 12:16

Please do not reply any more to him, unless it is to text: Message Deleted. He really does seem to think that he is some sort of prize and must think very carefully before bestowing himself.

Original poster
watchforthesnail · 15/07/2013 12:17

he does. he really does

loon.

just another in a long stream of them.

OP posts:
CatelynStark · 15/07/2013 12:18

Oh what a twat he is! I'd just ignore him now, Snail - he's way too much like hard work and he's just spoilt it completely.

I think you've had a lucky escape there!

EvieanneVolvic · 15/07/2013 12:18

What's up Snail Seems to me like you're getting a lot of support....

OTheHugeManatee · 15/07/2013 12:19

Wow, real emotional vampire, this one. He's trying to reel you back in now.

Text back 'Obviously my last text wasn't clear enough. I don't want to meet you for any more dates. Have a nice life.'

fanjoforthemammaries7850 · 15/07/2013 12:19

Sensible move, he sounds very self absorbed and there are big red flags there.

Hope you meet someone nicer :)

fanjoforthemammaries7850 · 15/07/2013 12:19

Glad he showed his arsehole colours early :)

EvieanneVolvic · 15/07/2013 12:19

Sorry...I've just realised that when you said 'what's wrong with people' you meant him! Blush

MsCellophane · 15/07/2013 12:22

Just found this - firstly, you are not needy (not sure about the mental :) )

He sounds like a bit of a tosser - way too much hard work

But I will say you can see the people who have/are dating in today's climate and the ones who aren't - dating today is very different to how it was and it's very confusing most of the time

Shame about this one but at least you know now and fairly early on

Shrugged · 15/07/2013 12:28

OP, I think you sound nice, and a bit weary of this stuff, not surprisingly. Now, I know taking advice from random internet strangers is not very logical, but please listen when I say 'Please don't text Mr Unsure again!'

Honestly, he sounds about fifteen, and as if he's sitting about in his bedroom moaning into his diary and experimenting with facial hair.

Original poster
watchforthesnail · 15/07/2013 12:30

volvic - yes, i did :) not everyone else. lol I was aware it wasnt me in the wrong in the first place anyway :)

its the ' i can tell you are getting irrated by me already' thats made me annoyed, i mean, what the hell does he expect when hes gone on about how unsure he is of if he wants to see me again???? what planet is he on?

OP posts:
Original poster
watchforthesnail · 15/07/2013 12:34

cheers cello :)

mental indeed.... one day someone will appreciate my quirkness. probably. maybe. haha

Hes still reply. its got very woe is me.

i have replied. only to say ' why are you stll messaging me'

hes 31, he has 3 kids, one of which is 14... ( he knows this isnt a great selling point) but hes got his own business, and a beach hut and seemed ' nice' what with his work for charity and how he seemed to put his kids first... so i was ok to overlook the gingerness and the fact hes 5'6.

Insane man.

OP posts:
poopyisapig · 15/07/2013 12:38

Dear god, he's still messaging you?!

I bet he listens to the smiths in a dark room.

I would expect someone with three children to be a bit more grown up in their actions to be honest.

Original poster
watchforthesnail · 15/07/2013 12:39

i know.

clearly not.

OP posts:
AmbrosiaCreamedMice · 15/07/2013 12:39

Knobber. Lucky escape.

SelectAUserName · 15/07/2013 12:42

Whatever he texts back, if he does, just ignore. Ignore ignore ignore. So long as you're still replying, even if it's to say "we're done" or "stop texting" he's still getting a response, still feels in control and you're still giving him headspace.

Delete his messages and number off your phone, get back on the horse and hope that the next one is from Planet Grown-Up.

Original poster
watchforthesnail · 15/07/2013 12:42

just thinking, i did match.com on a 3 days free thing.
for all people say about men on paid sites being more serious...

i had;

  1. man who seemed really great, and then turned out to be a ghosthunting, mad, keyboard warrier with 17 fb pages where he was friends with himself.

  2. the one that was keen as hell then stood me up

  3. the ginger morrisey.

way to go match. com for your vast selection of elligable and non weird men Hmm

OP posts:
curryeater · 15/07/2013 12:47

Oi, less of the gingerism!
See I knew he would be all over the situation if you pulled away. That is not at all what he wants. Still, tough that - as it is what you want.

poopyisapig · 15/07/2013 12:47

There are some really strange people on dating sites.

I had one a few years back who took me to dinner at a frankie and be nhs because his ex was a waitress and was working there that night. He kept trying to kiss me every time she walked by and then they started s joint at each other. I left out of sheer embarrassment and he did t even notice.

Thisisaeuphemism · 15/07/2013 12:48

What a twat. You handled it well watch

I found dh on match. He is quite wierd tho :)

poopyisapig · 15/07/2013 12:48

Frankie and bennys, not nhs. Stupid autocorrect.