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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to think that since I spent my first child free Saturday in months helping my friend decorate she should have offered to drive me home?

81 replies

WeAreEternal · 13/07/2013 21:19

I live 15 miles away from where my friend.

There is no direct bus between our towns, you have to go via another town and get a connecting bus, so the journey takes two hours and fourty five minutes. There is also a 55 minute wait between the busses, so all in all the journey takes two hours and fourty minutes.

There are only three busses each day that tally up with the connecting busses, otherwise there would be an even longer wait.

I traveled through this morning and I dropped subtle hints about wanting a lift, but she never offered.

I have been scraping paper, putting up paper, painting and sanding all day, I am exhausted, and now I have a really long journey home, on my own this late at night.

I know that I should have asked for a lift, but I think that is rude so I wouldn't, and I know it isn't her responsibility to drive me (I can't drive ATM for medical reasons) but since I have spent my first child free Saturday in several months helping her decorate then she could have offered to drive me home.

Honestly I might not have even accepted, ok I probably would have done.

OP posts:
Gobbolinothewitchscat · 13/07/2013 21:21

Yes she should. She should have picked you up too. Lesson learned - no more help for her again.

pictish · 13/07/2013 21:21

I would have offered, and I think it's a shame that she didnt.

southeastastra · 13/07/2013 21:23

are you still there? ask outright?

QuintessentialOldDear · 13/07/2013 21:24

What a cow. I am surprised she did not suggest picking you up and dropping you off on her own accord!

LemonBreeland · 13/07/2013 21:25

Why did you not just tell her in advance thst you couldn't make it unless she gave you a lift?

It was rude of her not to offer. Is she aware that it takes that long on the bus?

JumpingJackSprat · 13/07/2013 21:25

You should have asked her.

Jan49 · 13/07/2013 21:26

I think really you should have sorted it out before you agreed to go there, so that you knew you were getting a lift from her or getting a taxi. Does she even realise how difficult and long the journey is by bus? People who drive everywhere don't always realise. I wouldn't have gone that far by bus just to help out. Your hints were too subtle!

InsanelyBrainDeprived · 13/07/2013 21:26

Why didn't you ask? She should have offered to be fair. Perhaps she didn't think too as she is r

Nat38 · 13/07/2013 21:28

How horrible is she?!!!!!Sad
If a friend of mine was helping like that I would offer & insist on a lift home!!

Original poster
WeAreEternal · 13/07/2013 21:29

The thing that kind of grates is that she knows full well that I am going to have to sit alone in the bus station for 55 minutes and I won't get home until after midnight.

Since this is my first child free Saturday night in nearly a year I was hoping to go out tonight, but because of the bus times it was only worth coming through if I was going to stay the whole day and get the last busses home.
So it will be too late to do anything and I am exhausted now anyway.
Sad

I think I would have been UR to expect a lift home, but not UR to think she should have at least offered.

OP posts:
Chivetalking · 13/07/2013 21:30

She absolutely should have offered.

Make sure you're unavailable next time she fancies some free DIY.

InsanelyBrainDeprived · 13/07/2013 21:30

... Focused in her home and didn't think.

Perhaps she assumes you were ok to do the trip as part of helping her?

But....I would have offered a lift in that position.

I would have asked for a lift personally

sonlypuppyfat · 13/07/2013 21:31

Well I hope its a lesson learnt what a nasty thing to please promise me that you help people who appreciate you a bit more in future!

Original poster
WeAreEternal · 13/07/2013 21:33

Yes she knows how long the journey is, and about the wait.

I usually drive but I can't at the moment which is why I am on the bus.

I always planned to get the bus home, but did hope my friend would offer to give me a lift.

I have already left, I'm halfway to the other town now.

OP posts:
Leeds2 · 13/07/2013 21:34

I would've picked you up, and taken you home, if you were doing my DIY all day.

I think you know next time to be busy!

MaryMotherOfCheeses · 13/07/2013 21:35

Oh she should have offered.

Next time, when you're arranging to see her say "oh i'd love to come and help. If I get the bus there would you be able to give me a lift back?"

If she objects to that, she's not really a friend.

Original poster
WeAreEternal · 13/07/2013 21:37

If I'm honest I genuinely though she would have offered to give me a lift, which is why I am slightly annoyed, I just surprised that she didn't offer.

OP posts:
WandaDoff · 13/07/2013 21:37

I think after a full days decorating, I think I would have offered a takeaway & wine & a bed for the night or a taxi home.

Next time she asks a favour, I would be unavailable if I were you.

Gobbolinothewitchscat · 13/07/2013 21:40

You're a living saint! You would not have been unreasonable at all to expect a lift home. Seriously - you sound too nice to be let out in your own.....unscrupulous people could take advantage!

Saying that, I do have quite a lot if DIY jobs that need doing and you clearly travel.......Grin

brilliantwhite · 13/07/2013 21:40

she should of taken you home,i would of felt guilty not picking you up or taking you home , she sounds like a right user.

RubyThePirate · 13/07/2013 21:42

A lift and a medal would be appropriate.

What a rude friend.

Original poster
WeAreEternal · 13/07/2013 21:43

I did consider staying over, but then I would have had to have paid for the bus again tomorrow, and since it was £24 I didn't fancy paying it twice.

OP posts:
formicadinosaur · 13/07/2013 21:45

She should have collected and returned you. Then given you wine and meals.

Original poster
WeAreEternal · 13/07/2013 21:45

I didn't even think about wine and a take away.

she really isn't a bad friend. she is just maybe a little selfish

OP posts:
CSIJanner · 13/07/2013 21:46

Did she even say thank you for the help?