To be fuming at the amount DH spent at a stag weekend last weekend?

[Butterwouldnotmelt]

Leaving us short for the rest of the month?

Not including accommodation, which he paid for a few months ago, he spent just over £500. This was on a 3 day/2 night stag weekend in the UK.

This has meant we are very short on money for the rest of the month until we both get paid on the last working day of the month.

He doesn't see the problem and doesn't seem to think that he spent an excessive amount...

No one has said it was on strippers, a lot of people have jumped to that conclusion

Btw it's totally immoral that you & other women let their partners/husbands have strange possibly sti infected prozzies wave/rub their tits & nether regions in their faces. Don't kid yourself if you think think things like that don't go on.

Seedy...

Wtf? Are you on the wrong thread?

Btw it's totally immoral that you & other women let their partners/husbands have strange possibly sti infected prozzies wave/rub their tits & nether regions in their faces. Nevermind the shagging.Don't kid yourself if you think things like that don't go on.

Seedy...

If I had to guess, I'd say OP was fine with the stag do ahead of time because it was probably pitched as "a couple of meals, a few drinks, maybe a club one night". It's then turned into a major piss-up with the wealthier members of the group flashing the cash, ordering bottles of champagne, insisting on taxis everywhere. OP's DP has felt obliged to 'keep up' or be forever known as the 'tightarse' in the group (a fate worse than death, obviously ), and has taken cash out of the joint account "because it's there" and "it's a special occasion, innit" without ever stopping to think that this isn't magic cash which will replenish itself automatically and that his actions will in fact have an impact on him and his partner for the rest of the month.

I'd also hazard a guess that OP probably sorts out most of the finances, or all the outgoings are paid by DD/SO with OP probably doing the grocery shopping, so her DP wouldn't necessarily make the connection between his spending and not physically having the money to pay for fuel, food etc. It's all just numbers on an ATM screen and it always sorts itself out.

I'd have a stab that his "not seeing a problem" attitude is fuelled in part by the above and in part by not wanting to admit to feeling slightly guilty now that it has been pointed out to him, because that would mean him having to admit he behaved unreasonably. And his "not thinking he spent an excessive amount" is probably a bit of the latter and perhaps being influenced by having seen a glimpse of how the other half live and feeling that in comparison he hasn't spent as much as they did.

OP, YANBU to be pissed off with him. YWBU to LTB, sell his stuff or assume it all went on drugs and strippers. Talk to him, show him the numbers and ask for his suggestions on how to plug the gap. Discuss the repercussions. If it means he has to cut back on his hobby participation for a couple of months, or give up his regular nights out for a while, volunteer for extra overtime at work or even take out an overdraft and pay it back from his salary/transfer from any savings and pay THAT back himself, but without it impacting on you too much, so be it.

No I'm not. Strippers or pissing it against the wall it's Immoral to waste that amount of money & let your family fall short financially.
I would not be with or marry someone like that to begin with. Each to their own.

Me and my dp went to Spain for 9 days plus our spending money was less than that!!!! How did he spend so much???

Talk to him?¿

Do you mean to be so rational ¿?

I'm sorry Patsy . It was a one-time thing. It won't happen again, I promise.

Yanbu!!!! I feel that is so selfish if its going to leave you short for the rest of the month, especially as you have priority things like mg/rent. If he'd saved the dosh it wouldn't have been as bad but not when it's leaving you short

I'm amazed that some people are puzzled how he spent so much. Going out on the lash ain't cheap in groups. He wouldn't have got much change from £50 in a city centre bar buying a round of pints and whiskey chasers for him and five others, for example. He probably spent half the £500 on booze alone, then there's entry to two or maybe even three clubs, food, taxis...I agree there was probably some 'keeping up with the Joneses' dynamic going on too.

Is he financially sensible at other times?
My guess is that he is not.

It all depends on circumstances. When dp and I were both working and earning loads, then £500 for a weekend for one of us seemed entirely reasonable- we probably wouldn't have even discussed it when I wasn't working and dp was still earning loads, we would have discussed it, but probably still done it. When he went self employed, neither of us would have even considered doing it for a second.
You cut your coat.......as they say.

Why does a stag do have to last three days and two nights? I'm trying to remember stag do's my DH has been on.

Football followed by curry
Curry night and beer
Football weekend in Dublin
Meal in a london club
Night out and hotel in Oxford
Cricket (DH's involved cricket)

Dublin was a couple of hundred 20 years ago and probably so was the oxford one.

My DH wouldn't spend £500 on mindless boozing for the sake of it but then he's never been on a mindless three day bender. He could afford it but wouldn't want it and is averse to waste. It's very sad if men will do this who can't afford it and if it means their families are short.

£500 over that time period is fuck all. Certainly not enough to presume prostitutes or drugs. That's just what these things cost.

Has OP been back recently? Lots of unanswered questions and I am vair nosey...

Yanbu to be very angry about it. And his attitude is appalling.

But it is easy to spend that much on food,drink and taxis. They're not going to have eaten in McDonalds are they? So probably expensive restaurants, or at least one. Probably expensive drinks. Rounds in groups are very expensive.

I wouldn't immidiately leap to drugs and lap dancing. Though that is of course possible.

Well not fair to splurge and leave you short. So YANBU.
I second the suggestion of his having beans on toast for a few eels to make up a bit.
But I agree with some other posters that £500 can be easily spent in 3 days without having paid for sex. Definitely.

Where's OP?

My DH spent £1200 on a 5 day cricket trip to holland so I can definitely see how one could spend £500 over a weekend.

I am so glad I got married 20yrs ago when one night hens & stags were the norm, not weekends/weeks away & excessive spending!

It all seems to overshadow the main event these days, I just don't see the point in it. Like kids birthday parties where you have to out-do the Jones family. Showy & a waste of money imo.

I'm bloody awful with money but £500 on a 2-day stag do takes the piss!

*Transport - £50
Accomodation - £60
Drinks - £50
Food - £80
Activities - £60
Drugs - £100
Lapdances - £100
----
Total £500

Easy. Didn't even try.*

Fifty quid on drinks for a stag weekend? I'd expect another hundred at least. Likewise the food seems on the low side.

BadLad

NOT including accommodation.

I was quoting someone else, and picking them up only on their low food and drink amounts.