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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be fuming at the amount DH spent at a stag weekend last weekend?

132 replies

Butterwouldnotmelt · 13/07/2013 13:19

Leaving us short for the rest of the month?

Not including accommodation, which he paid for a few months ago, he spent just over £500. This was on a 3 day/2 night stag weekend in the UK.

This has meant we are very short on money for the rest of the month until we both get paid on the last working day of the month.

He doesn't see the problem and doesn't seem to think that he spent an excessive amount...

OP posts:
RonaldMcDonald · 13/07/2013 15:09

That, honestly, does not seem like a lot for a hen or stag.
I would expect it to cost at least that

FairyThunderthighs · 13/07/2013 15:13

I'd be furious. We are in the same positions budgeting madly, and my DP felt guilty because he had to spend £25 on new work boots! £500 is an astonishing amount!

RonaldMcDonald · 13/07/2013 15:14

OP

Is it his money, your money or from the family/household account?

LazyMonkeyButler · 13/07/2013 15:18

I'm quite Grin at how some people think £500 is a 'perfectly reasonable amount' for a weekend away for one person - excluding accommodation. Oh, how the other half live Grin.

Personally, I'd be furious. A £500 spend on something like that would wipe us out for the rest of the month, let alone leaving us short.

RonaldMcDonald · 13/07/2013 15:32

Shurely if it's from the family or joint account there would have been some discussion re the amount that was kicking about to be spent freely.

At times I question whether rants or posts over someone else's spending are really to do with an initial break down in communication/ an immaturity in the spender or control issues exhibited by the poster.

StuntGirl · 13/07/2013 15:40

I'm always amazed by these threads. The family has X amount of money coming in. The family has Y amount of money going out on essentials. Z is left over. Discuss between you how its spent/divvied up.

If £500 is way over Z and has to be subtracted from Y then he fucked up some pretty basic maths.

How does he propose to plug the gap?

Ashoething · 13/07/2013 15:45

Why oh why did you agree to this stag weekend if it was going to leave you short as a family? Are you one of those wives who think that they will be seen as a nag or uncool if they point out that its just not to spunk this amount of money when you have a family to consider?

Sell his stuff on ebay.Pronto.Or get rid of the manchild.

FreudiansSlipper · 13/07/2013 15:48

it is a lot of money but can quite easily be spent but only if you can easily spare that sort of money and your family do not go without

still no excuse what an arse very selfish and you have every right to sell some of his things to cover costs

MortifiedAdams · 13/07/2013 15:50

I would expect £500 to cover the accomodation plus all extras for a weekend away - where did they go??

RonaldMcDonald · 13/07/2013 15:54

I don't think 2 weeks 'short' of cash should trigger anyone selling property or ending a relationship
Unless this is an endless repeated cycle

HollaAtMeBaby · 13/07/2013 16:09

YANBU. I would definitely want to know what he spent it on. Can't imagine anyone getting through that kind of cash in a weekend without putting anything up their nose or around their cock...

lottiegarbanzo · 13/07/2013 16:15

Depends what you mean by being left short, for what?

If it's from your joint leisure budget and means you have to miss a couple of meals out together but you have a spa weekend booked next month, then I'd understand his not seeing the problem.

If you now can't pay your fuel bill, there's a problem.

How does he explain the idea that there is not a problem? What had you agreed before he went? You knew it was going to cost something.

Mia4 · 13/07/2013 16:19

YANBU, why didn't some get saved in advance? I saved in advance for my friend's hen, DP is saving for the stag himself.

DfanjoUnchained · 13/07/2013 16:26

So he spent £500 on drinks, dances and pussy, leaving you and your dc short of essentials?

I would shove a fork up his arse.

gindrinker · 13/07/2013 16:31

Why wasn't this discussed pre stag do?
We've got X Y and Z to pay before payday.
This leaves you with ££ for you to spend.

To spend £500 I'd assume lots of champagne and showing off. But you know his mates and if they're the lap dancing sort?
Did they pay anything daft to be stretch limo'd around or something?

SquinkiesRule · 13/07/2013 16:31

Seeing he spent so much family money leaving you short, maybe you should feed him peanut butter sandwiches for the rest of the month, or noodles. He already used his portion of food money plus more. That was a very selfish thing to do I'd be livid.

LoveBeingUpAt4InTheMorning · 13/07/2013 16:32

Sorry but I do t see how he could have spent that

StuntGirl · 13/07/2013 16:37

I can easily see how he spent that on drinks, food, taxis and club entry alone. Just because someone blows a fortune doesn't mean they spent it on prostitutes and drugs.

Squitten · 13/07/2013 16:38

So if you're short for the month OP, how does your DH plan to make up the money? Or what does he think you should be going without?

ENormaSnob · 13/07/2013 16:45

How much was the accom and travel?

HaveIGotPoosForYou · 13/07/2013 16:49

I would be :o too.

That would be 2 months worth of spending for us, so that seems ridiculous!

We are 2 adults and a baby.

BIWI · 13/07/2013 16:50

It would be easy to spend that amount of money, without even thinking about drugs and prostitutes Hmm

Decent meal out, with drinks beforehand, nice wine with meal, drinks for the rest of the evening - taxis, drinks during the day, nice lunch etc, round of golf ...

Obviously I have no idea where he's gone/what they're doing, but it's easy to spend that kind of money.

The actual amount is irrelevant though. What is relevant is that it's left you short for the rest of the month.

Therefore you have to ask him

"How are you proposing we deal with the rest of the time until we get paid?"

You must make it his responsibility and not take care of it yourself. Only then will he realise that he can't carry on spending like this when there is a household budget that is not infinite.

Whothefuckfarted · 13/07/2013 16:52

I second the drugs and escorts prostitutes suspicion.

What did he say he spent it on???

HaveIGotPoosForYou · 13/07/2013 16:52

Oh and the only time I'd ever think that was OK was if it was for my own hen do but I would've saved £50 each month to put towards it or whatever, not left anyone high and dry.

He needs to learn how to budget if he wants to spend that type of money.

Also the chances are the OP let him go as she didn't expect he'd actually spend that much when he was out there. Now she knows, I doubt she'll be wanting him to go to another stag do anytime soon!

HeyIJustMetYou · 13/07/2013 16:55

Stag do's are a joke. It's probably one idiot best man who has decided to do a bunch of rah rah 'experience' activities or summat which leaves everyone else pressured into spending a crap load of money.

Ugh. Whatever happened to going to the park with a few bottles of white lightning and tying the upcoming groom to a lamp-post. Those were the days.