Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be annoyed by friends who post 'thank you so & so for the lovely dinner' on fb, just showing off their wonderful social life

161 replies

fridgealwaysfull · 13/07/2013 12:27

Surely if you've been invited to someone's house for dinner you thank them then. The only reason people post thank yous and tag the names of those present is just to show how popular they are and make others feel like we have no life. Winds me up.

OP posts:
ilovesooty · 13/07/2013 18:33

I doubt if anyone thanks people for a meal just to make themselves seem more interesting. And the office board analogy simply isn't relevant as we're a long way from the 80s. The world is different now. The OP could hide the posts that wind her up so much or get off FB as others have suggested.

Original poster
fridgealwaysfull · 13/07/2013 18:44

kim, you're right. I hadn't thought about it like that, but yes, it is easy to feel left out when things are going on that you weren't aware of. It's a case of having your nose rubbed in a bit. I won't leave fb but I will certainly remove some people from my newsfeed, for my own sanity I suppose

OP posts:
Thymeout · 13/07/2013 21:22

The office board analogy IS relevant because it shows how manners are changing - and not for the better.

When interaction was face to face, people were aware of who they were talklng to. So you'd be careful not to make people feel bad by going on about an event to which they hadn't been invited. And there's the whole school report business. You didn't say how wonderful your child's report was to other people at the school gate who might not have had such a happy experience.

People forget who is on their friends' list. They don't consider what effect what they are posting might have. And they don't see how others react to what they've posted so they don't moderate their behaviour.

So in general it's all a bit more thoughtless and inconsiderate. And it's no answer to say 'Well, don't read it' because you've just thrust it into their face.

DonDrapersAltrEgoBigglesDraper · 13/07/2013 21:33

...is just to show how popular they are and make others feel like we have no life.

I eel a bit sad for you, OP - if that is what's going on, then they just don't sound like very nice people. The medium for getting their not-very-niceness across (i.e. Facebook) is irrelevant.

It's never even occurred to me to be annoyed by such FB statuses, but I can see that if you are often left out it wouldn't be very nice.

This is about your 'friends' though; not about Facebook.

KansasCityOctopus · 13/07/2013 21:38

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

DonDrapersAltrEgoBigglesDraper · 13/07/2013 21:49

I know.

Facebook is what it is. We all, surely, know that now.

You have no control over what other people post.

Either hide everyone, get off FB altogether, or make your peace with it, and don't allow yourself to get wound up/upset/pissed off/whatever.

Rufus20 · 13/07/2013 21:51

I think 80smum nailed it too. It has changed and how we interact. We used to laugh at the Christmas round robin letters, now we get them everyday and find it normal

Alisvolatpropiis · 13/07/2013 21:55

Yabu.

People get way too upset about Facebook. The whole point is to share what you're doing it's a social network site.

dirtyface · 13/07/2013 21:59

oh i do love a good fb thread

kerala · 13/07/2013 22:04

Yanbu have never been on Facebook and never will. Seems weird to me to be publishing your life to all and sundry. Of course it's bragging. Accept I have been born into the wrong century (adjusts corset)

BegoniaBampot · 13/07/2013 22:04

It depends. Know what the OP means. Many friends update with what they have done or what and whom they doing it with, mostly all fine. but there is a line where it crosses over into pain in the arse luvvy bragging territory. Have one friend who does this, everything is gorg friends and Hun and it has made me see her in a different light. Damn annoying and cringe worthy.

manicinsomniac · 13/07/2013 23:20

kerala why on earth is it bragging? It's not something bragworthy! It's dinner at someone's house, something everyone does with their friends all the time. It's not an earth shattering, exciting event that could make people jealous.

DonDrapersAltrEgoBigglesDraper · 13/07/2013 23:51

Well, I suppose it could make someone jealous if they never get invited, manic, which I think is sort of the issue here!

But that's the thing - to the people posting these updates, they're just having dinner with their friends. No big deal. They can't realistically be expected to read the minds of everyone who'll get their news feed and edit their updates, in case someone, somewhere might be made to feel inadequate.

If you (generic) feel inadequate, then you (generic) get off Facebook.

As I said, we all know how Facebook rolls, it's been around long enough now.

ilovesooty · 14/07/2013 02:21

People forget who is on their friends' list

That rather depends on how selective you are about who you add.

exoticfruits · 14/07/2013 06:29

Just have a short list of proper friends and it won't be a problem.

ChocsAwayInMyGob · 14/07/2013 08:20

Seems weird to me to be publishing your life to all and sundry

But you choose your FB friends and your privacy settings. You could have a Facebook account that''s only seen by you or your best friend if you like. It would be a sort of diary.

Or you could be like all the teenagers I know who have about 600 friends they've never even met! Now that's weird!

stargirl1701 · 14/07/2013 08:26

Jealousy is not something to proud of.

You should be more ashamed of this thread than your friend's posting on Facebook. Your friend had a lovely, sociable evening and posted that on a SOCIAL network.

Get a grip.

WinkyWinkola · 14/07/2013 08:28

I love seeing people's delicious meals on FB. But then I am food obsessed.

I have a friend who posts pix of every single social event she goes to but then she does have a totally glittering social life and I feel like her granny seeing them all. But good for her.

OnIlkelyMoorBahtat · 15/07/2013 12:02

God, all these people who seem to hate their friends a) enjoying dinner parties; b) going on nice holidays; c) having children; d) having other friends; e) socialising... You obviously don't like these people, so why are you "friends" with them? I don't mean on FB - I mean in real life? FB is a means of communication between people, it really amazes me when people bang on about "Facebook is evil": it's like blaming the invention of the telephone for nuisance calls.
If you don't like the people you know, aren't interested in their lives and can't find it in yourself to be happy for them when they have a good time, do them a favour and get out of their lives.

OnIlkelyMoorBahtat · 15/07/2013 12:03

breathes Grin

OnIlkelyMoorBahtat · 15/07/2013 12:05

Actually, I suppose we can blame the invention of the phone for nuisance calls - I guess I meant to say: it's like saying telephones are evil, because they make nuisance calls possible.

Ach, it's too hot....

LadyBryan · 15/07/2013 12:15

Just to clarify we are no longer allowed to post on FB: -

Thanks for social invitations
Pictures of holidays abroad
Pride in our children

Lottapianos · 15/07/2013 12:17

Slightly different perspective on this..... I sometimes feel like this Hmm when I see photos of someone's new baby on FB, or read a pregnancy announcement. When I feel this way, it's because I'm having a jealous day and part of me is extremely envious of the new mum/dad. This is 100% my problem and needless to say, I keep my green-eyed monster feelings to myself. Should people not talk about their babies on FB because it might upset me? Of course not!

I often post something similar to what was quoted in the OP. Maybe it is a bit braggy but all I'm thinking of is the friends I have just had a lovely time with. I am certainly not interested in putting anyone else's nose out of joint or trying to make other people feel bad.

So what I'm trying to say OP, in a nice way, is that you do sound a wee bit jealous. You can't help how you feel so acknowledge it but own it is your issue, not other people's.

MonParapluie · 15/07/2013 12:31

I love seeing holiday pics on FB, please don't stop posting them! Love seeing where people have been and think about where I would go!

libertine73 · 15/07/2013 12:35

You can buy FB friends!? am I the only one who didn't know this?? WTAF?!!!