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AIBU?

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Original poster

AIBU to think that organ donation should be opt in not opt out

217 replies

SodaStreamy · 12/07/2013 16:41

Wales is introducing an 'opt out' for organ donation.Scotland is watching to see if it's worth doing

Personally I don't think this is right

It's taking bits of a humans body without consent

The reasons I am not an organ donor are thus,

there are far too many people who have a dontated organs and change there behaviour and start displaying charactistics of the organ donars personality

I do not want anyone ever to think it's ok to take a bit of my body and put it in someone else and if it wanted it too happen I would tell yes , i'm an organ donor .

But if I don't want it to happen I do not think I hould have to sign a form saying my organs are not harvestable

OP posts:
SauvignonBlanche · 12/07/2013 19:19

'love of God' - sorry.

Honsandrevels · 12/07/2013 19:22

It is incredibly distasteful to make such a claim about pain for donors and personality changes. Perhaps you ought to do some research OP.

Mynameis I've had a transplant and I'm grateful beyond words. It is another chance of life.

JamieandtheMagicTorch · 12/07/2013 19:23

"People die and when it is your time it is your time"

Yep, and when it's time your body won't be any use to you but it could save someone else's life. Someone who is ALIVE.

But if you don't agree, OP, OPT OUT

ThisWayForCrazy · 12/07/2013 19:24

Tbh you won't have a fucking clue where your body is or parts of it once you're dead. You'll just be dead. And saying its your body to keep will mean nothing. And will benefit no one, yourself included.

JamieandtheMagicTorch · 12/07/2013 19:25

"IT'S my BODY

If I die I want to die in the knowledge that MY body is still mine and it's up to me , not a government scheme to decide what to with it"

So OPT OUT

JamieandtheMagicTorch · 12/07/2013 19:32

"My opinion is that opt in is the way forward , not opt out"

Hmm, depends what you mean by a way forward. We have opt-out, so it's not really the way forward so much as the status quo. Which people are considering changing because it isn't working well enough

trixymalixy · 12/07/2013 19:32

How could you have posted such distasteful shite, when a brave poster on this thread has posted about their experiences of donating their child's organs? Shame on you.

JamieandtheMagicTorch · 12/07/2013 19:33

sorry, we have Opt-in

Choccywoccydodah · 12/07/2013 19:35

Soda, I really hope you manage to tell your friends and family that you don't want to receive anything if you have an accident and urgently need care because god fucking help them if you wake up with someone else's bits!! You'd be on a murder charge!

nobutts · 12/07/2013 19:35

I remembered it being at the hospital but now I realise it was at the docs when I registered her. The form had a tick box etc and I asked if one was allowed to list a DC as a donor and they said yes, so I did. When she's older I'll discuss the choice I made on her behalf and if she chooses to 'opt out' or remove her name then so be it ( though I really hope not as I wouldn't hesitate to accept donation for her and can't imagine the level of thanks I might feel for those who donated).

MNHQ
OliviaMMumsnet · 12/07/2013 19:41

Evening all,
A link to our talk guidelines for those who need them.
Thanks

MrsWolowitz · 12/07/2013 19:44

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

LaLaLeni · 12/07/2013 19:56

If your child was going to die without an organ transplant, which would be more barbaric - denying them use of an organ nobody else can use anymore or giving them a chance to live a full life? Or could you really say 'Oh well, it's just their time' if your child ever did need an organ?

Until you are in that situation, you can throw around thoughtless ideas about it being a 'medical toy' but I bet you'd soon change your mind if it blighted your loved one's life. Life is not a toy, neither is health.

My mum gave the gift of life to no less than 8 people when she died suddenly - she was kept on life support after a massive brain aneurysm and yes, it was weird knowing why at the time, but she was also dead and that was much weirder by far. Those recipients wrote us heartfelt letters of thanks for allowing her to give them that gift and in our grief it was hugely comforting to know she gave just as much in death as in life. Her donating organs stopped another family losing a mother, and going through the pain.

I think it's wise to get as educated on the reality of what it's like for those desperately awaiting organs as possible, before just deciding that you're squeamish about it. Maybe that stems from a fear of thinking that you will die one day - most people shy away from it to a certain degree. The opt out will help normalise the process so people won't have that fear in future generations.

Our current opt in system isn't working. People are dying before 'their time'. You will always be able to opt out, so nobody is forcing it on anyone. Flesh is just flesh, it falls off you and turns into dust everyday.

Ledkr · 12/07/2013 19:56

Despite our circumstances I was fearful of my organs being taken without anaesthetic until I talked to ds renal nurse who reassured me.
Maybe people who are fearful should ask questions.
When you have watched your child suffer his entire life to reach his mid twenties, have to give up work, be unable to join in with his mates holidays and activities and then wait in vain for a transplant, you would I promise feel differently.
Opt out option would of possibly meant him and others would have received an organ by now I'm sure.

Ledkr · 12/07/2013 19:59

lala amazing how many people's lives your mum saved or improved. What a great legacy.
Sorry for your loss of course.

Owllady · 12/07/2013 20:03

I am not harsh but quite frankly if you want me to be I will come back tomorrow and be harsh, that might help

You really don't have a fucking clue

SoupDragon · 12/07/2013 20:07

Ys I will tak antibotics and painkillers , that is not putting a piece of another persons body into your own

Oh, right. How does that fit in with your belief that "when it's your time it's your time" and that modern medicine was "trying to play god" ?

CleverlyConcealed · 12/07/2013 20:07

When you have watched your child suffer his entire life to reach his mid twenties, have to give up work, be unable to join in with his mates holidays and activities and then wait in vain for a transplant, you would I promise feel differently.

This.

And a massive thank you to those posters who have given permission, despite their grief, to donate a loved one's organs. Thanks

SoupDragon · 12/07/2013 20:10

people who chose not to donate

People who are certain that they do not wish to donate can simply opt out.

Ledkr · 12/07/2013 20:16

You know what else? My boy isn't even remotely pissed off with non donors. He just wants a kidney.
These people are just like you op.
They have fears and feel pain and don't feel ready to leave their lives and love ones.
The other day I heard of a boy dying from a failed transplant and I could hardly catch my breath.
He has two brothers and two little sisters who just adore him.
Please at least ask some questions and educate yourself at least.

Meerkatwhiskers · 12/07/2013 20:23

I think it should be an opt out system. The current opt in system isn't working as it should. There aren't enough organs being donated for the amount of people on the list.

sodastreamy your friends daughter would have felt no pain. For an organ harvest to take place, 2 doctors have to perform a brain stem death test on a patient to ensure that the patient is brain dead. This means that the person is being kept alive purely by the life support machine. The peaks on the monitor I presume would have been heart rate changes which would more than likely be due to bleeding caused by the removal of organs. Bleeding can cause physiological changes and speed up heart rate and blood pressure will drop.

Hope that reassures you.

sapphirestar · 12/07/2013 20:28

*errm really sazzle my DS1 has a driving license and an age identity card and both of those carry words that say he is happy to be an organ donor.

He did not choses this , the words are prestamped on the cards.

As it happens he does wont to be an organ donor but thought it was 'odd' that someone had decided to assume he would be without asking him*

Just wanted to point out that this ^^ NOT TRUE!
There is a box on the driving licence form, and used to be on boots advantage card application too, that you tick YES I do want to donate my organs. If you leave it blank you won't be put on the register.
I have just had a letter to renew my driving licence so know this is up-to-date info.
The words are not "pre-stamped" and no-one "assumes" anything.

FWIW I think it should be opt out for the same reason many others have said, many don't get round to opting in but those who feel strongly will get round to opting out

Meerkatwhiskers · 12/07/2013 20:30

Oh and kidney dialysis is barbaric
End stage Cystic fibrosis waiting for a complete heart and lung transplant is barbaric
A young person with heart failure is barbaric

If you die unexpectedly or outside of hospital of an unknown cause (or even in hospital of an unknown cause) then you will have to have a post mortem and that pesky government will have their hands on your organs then too. Although they will give them back. Just not in the same order and they might keep some bits for testing. You won't be able to opt out of that either.

LaLaLeni · 12/07/2013 20:39

OP surely your friend wasn't present when they harvested her daughter's organs? That just wouldn't be allowed. You might mean the tests they do to check for brain death - I was present to see them test my mum (and I was only just out of my teens, still very young) because then I KNEW she was gone. It wasn't nice but if I hadn't perhaps I would've regretted it. Lots of funny things happen to bodies whose brains no longer work.

Think of it this way: the worst that can happen if someone feels really strongly but just forgets (not very plausible) to opt OUT, is that someone else gets to live. The worst that can happen if someone forgets to opt IN is that they die and someone else who could've lived also dies. Who benefits there? A dead person cannot benefit from anything, that's sort of how death works.

You keep saying 'you can't opt out in Scotland yet' - you do realise that's because you still have to opt in right?! It doesn't mean you are all forced to donate!!

Go visit a hospital. Go meet some recipients, some on the waiting list, some who if they do get organs have to deal with the fact that someone else died to give them life. Your worries will disappear...

Ledkr · 12/07/2013 20:44

Come and meet ds. He's currently housebound with gout from his illness. His mates will all be out pulling girls and drinking but he's got an old mans disease and is watch corrie with a cuppa.
He's 25 Sad