school report bragging on facebook

[emanjay]

AIBU? Can't stand this. My friend has written "*'s report was brilliant! Bet he keeps it up next year "

I'm really confused here everlong - why on earth would you have friends on FB that aren't real friends?!

Ah I see.

I'm definitely not an "adder". All my friends are "proper" friends or family.

I am genuinely very happy for my friends who have posted aojt their childrens reports, awards and acheivements and I like hearing about their children via Facebook.

Plenty of my friends post saying they are pleased with kids' school reports - they don't go into every detail. Seems fine to me.

Better than hearing how many miles someone has run that day ;)

Imagine seeing "Got report home today! The dog could've got better grades I'm so utterly ashamed "

pianodoodle that person would be my new best friend, and I'd be round her house withing five minutes, offering

Actually I've just realised I'm worse than everyone. Dd just did astonishingly well at something and the teacher (not school btw) posted about it on fb. So I just shared the post!

Bragging but making it look like it wasn't me. Oops.

Telling grandparents about their gc's brilliant achievements isn't bragging, because they feel exactly the same as you. (Tho'I'd be a bit careful about relatives with children the same age, in case their dc haven't done as well as yours.) But the chances are you'd be talking to them anyway.

The problem with fb is most people have as friends people who in rl they would not be saying the sort of gush they post on fb - other mums they know through the school, etc. It would certainly be classed as bragging if they said in rl to these people, face to face, what they write on f.b.

So how is it not bragging, just because it's on facebook?

Tis insecurity i guess. Those who feel the need to brag about their kids report on FB have my sincerest sympathy.

Facebook is the modern equivalent of the village shop. Would you go into there and tell everyone how proud you were of your DC? If you would (special achievements etc), then yes stick it on your status.

I'd suggest a minority only has family member and close friends on their Facebook . You have other parents, people from work, past friendships and few of those need a yearly update on the NC assessment. Unless you're prepared to put when they just do "OK" or actually are not up to scratch.But then I expect you'd say that was none of their business.

But saying you are so proud of your child's report does not automatically mean you think they are a genius, does it? If so, I have given my friends and family the very wrong impression in the past! When I talk about being proud of my son's report, I mean because it says he has tried his best and behaves well. Ds1's report last year told me he was below average in both numeracy and literacy, I was still proud of him as he had worked hard. This year his report should say he has made huge improvements, but still a little below average. I will be proud and I will share it on my Facebook!

Are you annoyed the reports are so good or that the parents are sharing the news?

Surely the people who care can read it and be happy and the ones who feel the bile rising can just go for a walk instead.

You're not obliged to read stuff that winds you up.

I imagine the grandparents and aunties love it though. Don't be a spoilsport!!

If you wouldn't say it out loud to someone in the same room, don't post it on Facebook.

My FB friends are my real friends. I don't feel the need to add people I know from "out and about". Why on earth would I? They can't add me without my permission and they don't get that permission.

I don't need to read about their achievements on fb as I already know how they're doing either by seeing them or being told by phone, text.

This implied that "bragging" by FB = bad, text/phone/in person = fine.

Regardless, when are people going to be allowed to be publicly proud of their children without being accused of being a smug, bragger? God forbid you ever go to America where they have bumper stickers announcing "proud parent of an honor student." Whilst my natural British reserve feels queasy at some of the over-exuberance commonly attributed to the Americans, this bit I wish we could do here.

Why shouldn't I show that I am proud of my children - heaven knows I whinge about them often enough in public and that seems to be OK. Isn't that a little bit twisted?

If you wouldn't say it out loud to someone in the same room, don't post it on Facebook

And even if you would say it out loud, still don't post it on Facebook because some miserable, po-faced, kill joy will accuse you of bragging.

They're proud of their DCs and are sharing their joy with their friends/ family.

Nothing wrong with that IMO.

ageofgrandillusion - way to go with the armchair psychiattry!

Why on earth does me being very proud of a little girl and wanting to share it with people who are involved in our lives mean I'm insecure.

Maybe I turn it around, maybe I suggest that those getting pissed of are manically jealous that their children aren't doing so well? No?

Absolutely, I wouldn't say that because I haven't a clue how people's minds work. And neither do you.

I'm a bit on the fence with FB. Would you say to someone's face "DS/DD got the most amazingly brilliant school report, I am so, so proud of my baby"? I wouldn't, apart from maybe my mum, so therefore I wouldn't post it on FB. It does seem a bit like legitimised bragging. Why is it less braggy to type it than say it?

Apologies for only having read the first and last pages of the thread. Hope I've not missed anything big :)

The example in the OP sounds like it's mostly directed to the son that did so well, I assume he's on facebook too and his mum is letting him know publicly how proud she is, while encouraging him to keep up the good work. I can't see much wrong with this tbh (although I wouldn't do it myself to DD1 because I reckon she'd be embarrassed and possibly block me ).

As for the person that actually posted a pic of their DC's report, that's a bit off in my judgy book.

Personally, I don't post about my DC's academic achievements because a lot of my friends are fellow special needs parents and I know it would make some of them feel like shit.

That's exactly it, when I said earlier that it's yes and no for me, that is because DS struggles due to SNs and it rubs it in somewhat, his reports are always the sort that praise the effort rather than the result, so when people start talking about other children in his class getting straight As and he struggles with Cs it is hard. However I know they are just proud of their lovely DCs and don't mean anything by it.

Our reports are due today, I will probably stay off FB for 24 hours or so.

I'm fine with bragging. Brag away. I like seeing the people I like achieving things, being proud of their DC's achievements, and sharing in their joy. But then I only have people on FB who are my actual friends, so we all like each other.