to think it's wrong to leave a baby/toddler sleeping alone in a hotel room?

[strawberry34]

When you have a monitor and are still in the premises?my friend says she does it when on holiday, she goes to the bar/restaurant and responds to the monitor if her 2yo dd wakes, I was shocked and said I wouldn't ever want to, I stay in the room and read a book/have a bath. Aibu to think what she's doing is wrong? I don't want to refer to famous cases but to me there's too much risk.

'shocked that people don't do it'?This was the first time I have ever heard of people doing this.Its so selfish.Why would you not get a babysitter or stay at home or have your meal early?Just makes no sense.

In all honesty I can't believe people still do this. Its like smoking in cars , I thought everyone was more clued up these days.

Imo its very irresponsible parenting.

"Imo its very irresponsible parenting."

But why????????????

If it doesn't feel right to you don't do it. But why is it irresponsible??????

Is one of the reasons people get so indignant about this is because it is the thought of the parents having a drink or meal whilst their child is alone? If you were doing something more 'worthy' would you still be so uptight about it?

My DS was the sort of baby/toddler who slept through and never, ever woke up - it was entirely the norm for him to have a two hour nap every single day after lunch until he was 3. We used to have elderly neighbours who often needed a hand so I would pop over and help them whilst DS slept - yes, leaving him totally alone in the next door house. I made a judgement, we lived in a very rural, low crime area - no doubt I would still get flamed for leaving him?

I don't think it's ever right to leave your child alone regardless of whether the activity is 'worthy' or not.

Oh here we go again, the pearl-clutching brigade at their finest on yet another 'how bad are those parents?' thread.

See how strong the reactions are, using the words 'idiot' and 'moronic' and 'selfish'.

That 'famous' case - why not say it? Madeleine McCann. How long ago was that? 8 years? And that is the only case you can remember which wasn't even in the UK. Can anyone else remember a recent case of anything happening to a child left in a hotel room?

No?

Yet I can tell you plenty of stories of abuse that has happened with the babysitter.

Statistically your child is more likely to be abused by their babysitter than abducted or otherwise harmed in a hotel room. That is a solid fact.

Most hotels are safer than your homes. They have excellent fire alarms and sprinklers and whoever said that they wouldn't let you go back into your room to collect a child is talking about of their arse. Of course they bloody would! But health and safety is such a priority in hotels that fires are rare. Very rare. Look up the statistics and you will see that house fires are still in their thousands whereas hotel fires?

So if we are talking about fires, you are safer in a reputable hotel chain than in your own home.
Abduction, again statistically speaking your child is safer without a babysitter than with one.

Many hotels offer babysitting services which is just the same as having a baby alarm in your room. Would they offer that service if they felt it was irresponsible? No they wouldn't as they know that if the shit hit the fan they would have their arse sued off. So there's another reason why your child is safe in a hotel - the hotel would have had to do a complete risk assessment and be insured in order to offer a babysitting service.

Then there are the sophistication of baby alarms. Most alarms now are very sensitive so you can hear every breath your child takes and even see their breathing light up the monitor. If you want to, you can even watch your child via a little monitor.

I really do not see what is so selfish about two responsible parents, assessing the risks and spending a little quality time together whilst ensuring that their children are as safe as if they were at home. Which they are.

These knee-jerk reactions really are very very dull.

Curlew

I would have thought it obvious, anything can happen. Its an unnecessary risk and for what a quick meal? senseless.

I think you're right. You're not "sacrificing " enough.....

Oh, and it's magical thinking too. I can't actually protect my child from the real risks in the world- but that's too scary to think about. So I will protect them from the imaginary risks and that'll make me feel better......

"Curlew

I would have thought it obvious, anything can happen. Its an unnecessary risk and for what a quick meal? senseless."

Oh, I had forgotten about that scary "anything". Absolutely. Boa constrictor. Escaped tiger. Zombie.

Curlew lol at imaginary risks.

I was a nurse in A & E in the 90's and then jumped ship retrained and worked in local government law, including spells in child protection. I think I have more insight than most at what can happen. There are reasons there are safes in hotel rooms.

I guess sometimes ignorance is bliss.

Hamilton75 so how many children did you see who had come to some harm in hotel rooms?

Compared to those who had been abused by babysitters?

Ah. Could you share some of your experiences of babies brought to a and e after being left sleeping in a locked hotel room while their parents are downstairs with a baby monitor? At last- somebody who can actually tell me what "anything" is!

ds just slept in his buggy

no i would not do it, i am on holiday with ds so it is not quite the same i accept that but it has never stopped me doing things it is just done differently

I have done it just the once when I was throwing a party for my dp at our local pub. The kids stayed up late and then I put them to bed in a room at the pub where I was also staying the night of course. Myself and dp did "every 10 minutes" checks. I wasn't drinking and he drank later at the after party at our house with his mates.

The checking only lasted an hour or so as I was so knackered I went up to join them. (Always my intention as I am such a lightweight with late nights). The children were 2 and 5 at the time.

I felt it was ok as the pub is staffed by friends, full of local people known to me in the main, and I was confident I could get up the stairs in a flash. The staff put the monitor on the bar for me too which I was listening to 90 % of the time. I did find it a bit stressful, and couldn't relax much, and wouldn't bother again ie I wouldn't leave them at all.

I wouldn't do it in a place I was unfamiliar with. It wouldn't feel comfortable or right to me. But I have to say, I would not condemn any parent who left their child having assessed the risks and taken appropriate precautions.

THERhubarb - the voice of reason (not for the first time ).

As regards the babysitter situation -I agree as my mum was abused by a close family friend.I am lucky enough to have a lot of relatives who are childcare professionals and would trust them completely.Wouldn't leave the children with anyone but them.We usually stay in family hotels when we have gone away and have our meal early.I don't feel hard done by that myself and my partner can't have a meal alone.We do this at home during the week when the girls are in bed.Thats just life when you have young kids isn't it.In a couple of years things will be different.

I don't know anyone who has had a child molested at a hotel. I do, however, know several people that have had their stuff robbed from their room while they were out of it. They didn't have children, but if they had, they would have terrified!

I wouldn't do it. I have stayed in small and large hotels, and even small ones tend to have a bar so it's not just people staying there.

I also have heard tales of this happening to friends when they were children, and waking up terrified in a strange place and no one there.

Also, all three of my sons have been able to get out of cots by age 1, so I wouldn't feel confident that if they woke up and weren't scared, that they hadn't trashed the room by the time I got back!

Right, so when you are in a hotel room with a baby monitor, say even a standard one which picks up every little sound and illuminates with their breathing - you would consider that too dangerous because someone might sneak in, make off with your child and you would never hear them?

I also know of people who have been burgled at home whilst they were all in bed, does mean that they now all sleep together in a padded cell?

I said it before and I'll say it again - do you honestly think that hotels would offer a babysitting service if the insurance company did not cover them?

As for waking up alone in a strange place - well how about when you wake up anywhere that isn't home? Do your parents always sleep in the same room as you? This is why we have baby monitors, so we can hear when they wake up.

JackieTheFart course you wouldn't hear that on a baby monitor would you?

Not wanting to flame a debate... But my personal opinion is it is not responsible parenting & I wouldn't do it...

I think it is, strictly speaking, probably as safe as having your child sleeping in their own bedroom at home.

However, I think your child would be pretty upset to unexpectedly wake in an unfamiliar environment and not have a parent immediately on hand. I suspect it would probably take longer that you'd like to get back to your child to comfort him/her.

I don't think it's a huge deal one way or another. Madeline McCan was a freak occurrence.

Curlew, you didn't respnd to my earlier post asking why, when there's no hysteria going on, are you always so keen to paint people as hysterical and deny all risks?

For the millionth time, it's not about the random weirdo lurking, it's about not abandoning your child to just to get a meal in peace.

It's that simple.