to think it's wrong to leave a baby/toddler sleeping alone in a hotel room?

[strawberry34]

When you have a monitor and are still in the premises?my friend says she does it when on holiday, she goes to the bar/restaurant and responds to the monitor if her 2yo dd wakes, I was shocked and said I wouldn't ever want to, I stay in the room and read a book/have a bath. Aibu to think what she's doing is wrong? I don't want to refer to famous cases but to me there's too much risk.

Dh and I do this once a month for our 'date night'. We gi to a local restaurant with rooms. 10 mo ds is in his travel cot in the room. We have a lovely meal downstairs, monitor on table, pressure mat on, nothing can go wrong. Can't believe some people would consider us bad parents for doing this.

The spin they've put on some of those numbers is questionable Ivy, (because of their particular bias) and they've chosen the most flattering version of the stats, but yes the picture is broadly correct.

I'm not actually saying that nobody should ever get a taxi in Portugal, but it is my go-to example when confronted with the rhetoric of infinite risk avoidance. (As opposed to "I just don't fancy it myself" or "I've thought about it and I think this particular risk outweighs the benefit") Nobody ever says "Why are you selfishly putting your DC at risk by driving to France rather than going to Norfolk?"

No way. Ever. How do you know your child is safe in unfamiliar surroundings? The thought of it fills me with dread.

I would never do this but know plenty of people who do.

I personally would just not be able to relax so what's the point?

I am naturally very anxious and particularly anxious concerning my DD, I also think that once you have children you should not carry on as if you don't have them and that means you stay in the room with them if you all have to be in a hotel together.

Ceramicunicorn I can see the more you do this and do it without incident the safer you think it is. You are being naive, at best.

Your baby is only 10m old? And you feel the need to do this on a monthly basis. Why? Does your need to have a meal with your husband trump your baby's basic needs? Why nit save the cash and get a babysitter and go out and relax properly?

Curlew why do I need to name a time when that has happened? The point is that bad things can happen even when we least expect it.
In an hotel a locked door is not really "locked" for me when any number of ppl have access to the key.
Property is stolen from hotels all the time, even from locked rooms. I don't want my child in that room.
I'm not sure that it's your intention but your posts appear quite aggressive.
I have made my point and expressed my view on the op's question. It obviously differs from yours. I'm ok with that.

Ok. I did it once. Friends small pub/bnb. We were only downstairs and figured if dd woke up she'd be ok older ds was on the room too. Had monitor in bar but didn't hear dd wake up and get out of room. Another guest found her in the corridor crying and very scared. I never did it again and now I can't believe I was so blasé.

And others have made the reasonable point about not being able to relax. I concur. How enjoyable is a meal or drink if I'm staring at the monitor all the time. I might as well sit in the hotel room.
DH and I could sit in the bath together and raid the peanuts from the minibar.

Why do some of you even have children?

If adult time is so precious that you would happily consider putting your child at even a minute risk of harm then why give it up in the first place?

Fine, it's your kids, do with them as you will. Doubt any of you would be able to live with yourselves if anything actually happened.

No-one thinks it will happen to them.

Emily, you stated categorically that it has happened. "It does happen. Rarely, but it does happen."

That's why I asked you for a case where it had.

Yes. "it" being the taking or molestation of children by "random weirdos".

so you get a couple of hotel rooms with interconnecting doors, do you sleep in your rom or the dc rooms?

If you want to have rooms service then order room service and have the meal brought up to you.

If you are comfortable with going to the bar and having a drink then do so.

but don't try to scare monger people to do what you do as you think it is the only way to do things - it isn't the only way or the best way

I think all the talk of strangers and unforseen dangers are red herrings. Bottom line is it is selfish to leave a small child alone in unfamiliar surroundings. Have date night at home so that if your child wakes up he/she sees their familiar things and you can be with them amost immediately to comfort them. Surely that's what being a parent is all about.

Even if you trust the fact that you can see them with the monitor as a safeguard you can't guarantee reception throughout the hotel (we have one family house that has no reception on the monitor when in the kitchen but does in the other rooms due to the thickness of the walls).
When does the monitor get switched on? As you leave the room?
What if the child leaves the room? You can't see them.
I may be over protective but the concerns are really not that outlandish.

We are currently staying in a hotel for a friend's wedding. Forgot to bring the baby monitor. DS (2 years) is sleeping safe and sound in our hotel room (ground floor, I should add), and we go and check on him every half hour throughout the evening. This is the third day we're doing this. It has worked brilliantly.

The only reason I won't be doing it again is that he will outgrow the travel cot very soon.

I don't think anyone's scaremongering.
The op is asking if ppl would leave their dc in hotel room while they were in the bar.
Some ppl are saying "no" and giving an explanation for that.
Some ppl are young they would be ok with it and explaining likewise.

I think I agree vestandknickers

In fact of baby is such a good consistent sleeper that you are comfortable leaving it alone then surely you're able to get a meal at home without being disturbed?

Vestandknickers has it spot on

lookingforwardtomarch is scaremongering plain and simple, how would you live with yourself comment is a classic

Sorry, not young I meant saying

Not ever. It just isn't worth the risk. If anything happened the only person i would blame is myself. You don't leave valuables out so why children. There are too many things that could go wrong. Not everybody out there is a weirdo, but they aren't labelled. If there was a fire what would happen then? If child got out of bed and hurt themselves, the thought scares me. I would never be able to relax. Plus if anything did happen i don't think the authorities would be happy

Never, why would you.

No-one thinks it will happen to them

Exactly.

I do find once stuff (any traumatic stuff) happens to people, they become more cautious about alot of things that they previously wouldn't have worried about. e.g. sudden very early death of family member caused me to realise how fragile life actually is and that shitty things do happen.

My less cautious friends are those who haven't yet experienced loss and therefore have a more carefree attitude towards risk. Not saying that it's wrong, but different.

Depends on so many things - the size of the hotel, the type of monitoring arrangements, the personality/mobility of your child, your own temperament and attitude (if you couldn't relax or enjoy yourself away from child, seems pretty pointless to even try), the distance you are going, the amount of time you will be away, etc, etc.

I have done it. Enjoyed a nice meal with a friend, we were gone for two hours. Baby slept whole time in cot. Had hotel listening service.

I analysed the risks and benefits and found them all acceptable to me.

If you don't feel comfortable, don't do it. But a blanket 'it is simply wrong' is not something I agree with.