to think it's wrong to leave a baby/toddler sleeping alone in a hotel room?

[strawberry34]

When you have a monitor and are still in the premises?my friend says she does it when on holiday, she goes to the bar/restaurant and responds to the monitor if her 2yo dd wakes, I was shocked and said I wouldn't ever want to, I stay in the room and read a book/have a bath. Aibu to think what she's doing is wrong? I don't want to refer to famous cases but to me there's too much risk.

[Bowlersarm]

We did it a lot.

It was pre-'famous cases'. I don't know whether I would have done it after that. Probably, in some circumstances.

[catgirl1976]

I wouldn't judge anyone else who did it curlew

I might even envy their relaxed parenting style

I just don't feel comfortable doing it myself, rational or not

[Lweji]

I have once left DS asleep to take his babysitter home. That took about 10 min round trip.
He was 6 or 7 and I had told him beforehand that if he woke up and I wasn't in, that I had just popped out for a few minutes, left the phone by him to ring me and left the front door unlocked. And the flat has a fire alarm.

I wouldn't have done it if he was younger.


And once a baby or toddler are asleep you can have a light on in the room. At least a reading light, or the tv on.

[VivaLeBeaver]

I've done it in Esprit hotels, they're a family ski company a bit like Mark Warner.

The hotels are fairly small and exclusively for the use of other Esprit customers. Kids aren't allowed for adult dinner so you have no choice but to leave them in the room if you holiday with them. We always used a baby monitor and locked the door, never had any problems.

Since Madeleine Mcgann they now have a member of staff on every corridor.

At one of their large (4story) hotels the fire alarm did go off during dinner. It was the week before we were there so I didn't see it myself but a member of staff told me they told all the parents to evacuate and that the corridor staff would evacuate all the kids (30 rooms per floor maybe so I dunno how two staff could evacuate potentially 60 kids). Apparently all the parents ignored staff telling them not to go and get their kids and there was a stampede of parents up the stairs!

[LadyIsabellaWrotham]

I've left the DCs in a room with a baby monitor while staying in a big 8 bedroom holiday rental with mates. I might consider doing the same in a similar sized family hotel/B&B, if I had a baby monitor that was working well enough to hear a ticking clock in the room.

The random kidnapper/fire risk is real but tiny. I might equally look askance at people who drive for hundreds of miles on dangerous (ie not British) roads just because they fancy some sunshine.

[nethunsreject]

No way. It's not on.

[Lweji]

dangerous (ie not British) roads


So no accidents on British roads?

[charitymum]

Each to their own. I wouldn't do it-would struggle to relax. Friends have. As people said lots of variables might
make it more or less safe.

But I do do wonder on the legal point. If you left a child at home alone at two - say to have a drink next door and you had monitor etc I suspect a charge of neglect possible - unlikely if nothing went wrong; quite likely if there is accident.

What are chances of neglect charge if child left in hotel room?

[ivykaty44]

I don't think there is a safe or unsafe distance, I used to leave mine upstairs to sleep and go out int he garden -this was at my parents house and without a baby monitor I wouldn't have known whether they were asleep or awake and yes it was the size of a small hotel the house next door had been split into 4, three bedroomed flats. I wouldn't leave the same building as my dc were in asleep for me that would be to far away, for others though popping next door would be ok and that is fine.

i dont' think it is the same as seat belt laws either - many many more small people were killed due to not wearing a seat belt, I can not think of more than half a dozen abductions leading to a dreadful end in the last 6 years. Drunk drivers have also killed far far more children and IMO it is not the same as using a monitor in a hotel room.

i have stayed in hotel rooms where we have slept on the ground floor three bedrooms from the bar - I don't see it as a problem to go and sit and have a drink and have done.

[LadyIsabellaWrotham]

British roads are not guaranteed to be accident free, but are pretty much the safest in the world bar Sweden and a couple of places with 10 mile an hour speed limits. Once you venture onto the roads of Continental Europe (let alone anywhere further afield) then you are taking a significant additional risk with your DCs lives just because it might rain in Norfolk.

[Drhamsterstortoise]

I don't know any of my friends or relatives who would leave a 6 year old alone in the house.Could the babysitter not have stayed the night if you were forced into that position.Completely agree with paradisechick.

[cleoteacher]

thanks guys for the suggestions. Not sure family members would be up for it as my sisters both have their own 2dc's who are very close together in age to worry about, my aunt and uncle's daughter is the one getting married so don't feel I could ask them. My cousin (sister of bride) is more likely to help with bride's ds than mine and again wouldn't be fair to my sisters. My mum probably wouldn't as then she would then need to do the same for her other 4 grandchildren to be fair and then would miss quite alot of the wedding.

I think I will probably put him in his sleepsack and try and keep him with us as long as possible, maybe trying to put him in his pram to go to sleep, and then just try and pop him in a corner near us so we can hear and see him, but might be too noisy for him. Or keep him up as late as we can and then when he goes to bed take it in turns with dh to supervise him or just go to bed when he does.

My sister has a ds2 who is 7 weeks older so it will be interesting to see what she is planning to do as she's a very cautious parent. Before anyone suggests, I don't want them in together as her ds wakes up several times in the night for bf's and mine sleeps through so I think he would just wake my ds up, plus would probably wake up trying to move him to another room once we went to bed.

[Lweji]

Having experience of roads outside the UK, if you drive carefully they are not that dangerous.
They are dangerous mostly for the many drivers who dangerously overtake and go over the speed limit, or drive dangerous cars.

[Drhamsterstortoise]

Tbh any weddings I've been at the couple have got a babysitter or shared childminding duties.Brother in law got married recently and I looked after dd for the day and then had an early night-was pregnant and had hg.Bit of a pain missing out on the fun though!

[LadyIsabellaWrotham]

And for the people who cross the paths of the many dangerous drivers Lweji. Most people will indeed survive a taxi or hire car ride from Malaga airport - but it's not the same risk as a taxi from Heathrow.

[Lweji]

The border between hovering parents and neglectful parents is not that easy to define. :)
We all end up taking risks, one way or another.
Each person is comfortable with different risks and less comfortable with others.

[HoratiaNelson]

I have left kids in bed whilst going downstairs in family-home-sized B&B, but normally whilst on holiday, we just keep the kids up. Small ones can sleep in their buggy, larger ones join in with the meal, all go up to room at the same time.

As for wedding in hotels, I have always taken the baby in buggy approach, slightly older ones have been known to sleep on a pile of coats under a table, or stretched out ona row of chairs...that's if they're not still dancing with the rest. I accept I am a very laissez-fairs parent...

[Lweji]

LadyI, the risk of meeting a dangerous driver exists, as it does in the UK, but it is not that high. I was talking of us driving ourselves, not being driven. You can rent a car in Malaga.

So, you never leave the house?

[Tanith]

I remember, Cornishpasty2. They'd write the chalet number up on the board. Some of them were up for a very long time

[curlew]

"I also dislike the suggestion that parents who might dare to worry about "random weirdos" molesting or taking their children are irrational and hysterical. It does happen. Rarely, but it does happen."

Name me one instance where anything like that has happened from a locked hotel room with locks windows and the parents downstairs in the same building listening on a baby monitor.

[LadyIsabellaWrotham]

You may have missed my point Lweji

[Pleasenomorepeppa]

We stayed in a hotel in Disneyland Paris with a 2 year old DD1 a couple of years ago.
We put her down in the travel cot, sat outside until she was asleep then went back inside to read until we were tired.
While we were reading, our door clicked & someone tried to open it. We had bolted it from the inside. They kept rattling the door & DH finally went & opened it.
It was 3 chambermaids who when we asked them why they were trying to get into our room at 9.30pm said they were wanting us to tip them. We didn't & after that experience would not leave my DC in a Hotel room unless the door was always visible.

[ivykaty44]

Lady I doubted your statement about roads in Uk and accidents so went and found this I was surprised

A roads though was a total shock - how bizarre

[Xmasbaby11]

YANBU. I'd never do that.