To not want to meet friends tomorrow for picnic as they'll be drinking?

[ChangeyMcChangeName]

My friends (a couple) have recently gotten over a bad health scare...it was her...the female half. She had a terrible illness which came on suddenly and almost killed her.

She's been out of hospital for two weeks. Her DH suggested my DH and our DC go to see them tomorrow as theres a very nice beauty spot near their flat....we could have a picnic with the DC he said. I agreed...our DC are 5 and 8 and theres are 3 and 1.

Then I got a txt saying "We're going to be having a couple of bottles of wine...so bring a beer or whatever if you want..."

AIBU to get a bit judgey? She's still recovering...I mean she was in a MESS....she was at deaths door. We're going to meet them on the train as we have no car atm...so drinking isn't really a good idea...and we;ll all have the DC with us.

Am I a big misery guts? It's just put me off a bit. We're not drinkers really so I said no we wouldn't be drinking.

If you're a close enough friend to have known the ins and outs of her illness and the medical advice offered afterwards, you're definitely close enough to say "I thought doctor's orders was no booze," said in a non-judgmental, chummy way.

Coming on here, agog and pointlessly judging, you're going to get flamed.

To the poster who mentioned the ice cold pear cider, shame on you. I'm pregnant and now I want that so much my mouth is watering. I can see the droplets of condensation on the glass and can't actually think of anything I want more than that right now. Thanks for that!!!

You're welcome.

At least 90% of posters on this thread are judgmental and Nasty.

OP is not one of them.

There's the alcohol-free pear cider as well Heffalump, that's if you were on about the Kopparberg Pear Cider? The alcohol free stuff is really sweet and lovely, but one or 2 bottles is about all I can handle. I normally drink a 6 pack of Bavarian alcohol-free beer. Tis lovely too.

I just don't know why op didn't say something to her friend. It would have been perfectly fine to say something about going against medical advice (information that op had been privy to). To sit back and criticise is pointless.

Chiggers where can you buy the alcohol-free cider?

I'm off to a bar tonight and will have to be on the Mocktails btw.

Maybe, she won't be drinking. I kind of get where you are coming from. I have a friend who smokes heavily and she was very very ill with an illness exacerbated by smoking. But she gets very angry if I show any signs of being upset or critical of her smoking. You can't stop her. I think you have to process your feelings of concern in a way that allows you to be friends with her.

Sainsburys have the alcohol-free pear one.

I have just been googling low alohol/ alcohol free cider!! About to go out and get some hehe

Latara - I'm off to sainsburies, they do a 1% version that is apparently really nice. Hth.

Oooh I feel a trip to sainsburys coming on!

Meet you there Heffa haha

Thanks that's me in Sainsbury next week! (I will just have to fake the extra confidence / relaxed feeling I get from alcohol... it's not easy when you are quite shy normally).

I never look at the alcohol free or I'd have mentioned it before. It has been rather a long time since I was pregnant (18 years).

Heffalump just realised it's 1% - I can't even have that with my meds.

If you can get 0% alcohol cider then that's what I need.

You can- it's called Appeltiser!

Really? I mean really? You don't agree with a person who was very ill having a drink and enjoying themselves?

we have never been to a family do without the adults drinking a glass of wine with lunch. even a sherry before lunch. and maybe a beer or two later.

we even let some of the older children to have a sip of wine or lick the froth of the beer.

poor children must be traumatized for life seeing their parents, uncles, aunts and grandparents having a nice relaxing time!

pffft

You are bothered by people drinking?
Am I allowed to be bothered by non-drinkers? I don't. I don't care if some does or doesn't drink.
But, are you actually saying that I am allowed/supposed to be?

at the BBQ, left the kids at MIL and we are having a good old drink

Latara - I ended up with the kopparburg mixed fruit alcohol free cider in the end. It's not too bad. I had to have a donut first to make it taste a bit less sweet, but needs must

Enjoying a few glasses of wine at a picnic doesn't make you suddenly develop Korsakofss you know oreo, talk about over dramatizing things...

I don't blame you for being concerned about your friend. It sounds like she was terribly ill. It would be worrying if her Drs had told her not to drink...I can't imagine it is a good thing to drink ALOT under those circumstances. Otoh I know exactly what it is like to go through a hideous time with your health and to just want to have a fun, relaxed time doing things that you thought you would never do again. A difficult one, however, the only options I can see are gently mentioning it to her in a concerned way or letting her and her dh decide for themselves.

Quite a picturesque image, middle class family, couple of well dressed kids having a picnic with a bottle of red. I wonder if people would react the same way to a couple of rough 'uns swigging from cans of carlsberg special brew at 11.30 in the morning on a park bench, which is essentially the same thing.