To not want to meet friends tomorrow for picnic as they'll be drinking?

[ChangeyMcChangeName]

My friends (a couple) have recently gotten over a bad health scare...it was her...the female half. She had a terrible illness which came on suddenly and almost killed her.

She's been out of hospital for two weeks. Her DH suggested my DH and our DC go to see them tomorrow as theres a very nice beauty spot near their flat....we could have a picnic with the DC he said. I agreed...our DC are 5 and 8 and theres are 3 and 1.

Then I got a txt saying "We're going to be having a couple of bottles of wine...so bring a beer or whatever if you want..."

AIBU to get a bit judgey? She's still recovering...I mean she was in a MESS....she was at deaths door. We're going to meet them on the train as we have no car atm...so drinking isn't really a good idea...and we;ll all have the DC with us.

Am I a big misery guts? It's just put me off a bit. We're not drinkers really so I said no we wouldn't be drinking.

[expatinscotland]

I love pious threads like this. So many, erm, posters on MN now straight out of Puritan times. It's entertaining.

Why not take her a pack of cigarettes? Or introduce her to cannabis?

[expatinscotland]

I hate to see what the dementia wards will look like in a few decades with all these clean-living people who think the reward for this is going to be a long, healthy retirement.

But then, I won't be here. I'll be partying in the afterlife with all my good-times mates.

[piprabbit]

When I was recovering from a frightening and life-threatening illness that involved a long stay in hospital and long-term health implications, I was passionate about not wanting to be defined by my illness, not wanting people to judge me or make assumptions about what I could or could not do.

I'm sure that many MNers have arranged a night out with their friends and joked about having a drink or two while secretly knowing full well that they are pregnant and don't intend to have more than a sip when it actually comes down to it.

Or maybe the friend is planning a bit of a session, in which case she is being foolish but that is her choice. Similarly the OP is being judgemental and unpleasant, that is her choice.

[oreocookiez]

Its been a bad day..... I need a drink. Ive had a great day..... Lets have a
drink. I got the job..... Lets have a
drink to celebrate! I didnt get the job.....lets have a drink
to commiserate. Its summer at last... Lets all have a drink. Its bloody
freezing today... Who fancies a drink to
warm us up? A party!!! Ooh how much will I
need to chuck up outside and make a
complete fool of myself..... A funeral.... Yes lets all have a few drinks
to toaSt the dearly departed. In fact lets have a drink anyway who needs an excuse...im far to boring to be
able to have a good time without it....

[expatinscotland]

Someone doesn't need a drink, they need a great big fat doobie to learn to unclench :o.

[oreocookiez]

We dont have 'dementia wards' they are organic or functional....consistent drinking causes all sorts of issues post 60.... Id rather be able to enjoy my grandchildren and know I lived a healthy life to help me do that. Statistically you are more likely to have a stroke, ulcer, DVT if you drink. I may be pious but I like being healthy, Fit and active. Go and see the effects of moderate lifetime drinking then come back and post.

[expatinscotland]

'Id rather be able to enjoy my grandchildren and know I lived a healthy life to help me do that. Statistically you are more likely to have a stroke, ulcer, DVT if you drink. I may be pious but I like being healthy, Fit and active. Go and see the effects of moderate lifetime drinking then come back and post.'

PMSL! Hope your kids have them. Some never do, you know. Some never even want them. I'm not here to put pressure on my surviving children about that. I'd rather they lived their lives as they see fit. If that includes children, good. If not, good, too.

Best not to live for a future you may not have but enjoy the now. Go and see the effects? I couldn't care less. If later life is full of a bunch of boring, pious po-faces, I'd rather be dead, thank you.

[expatinscotland]

Some people like to be very creative in their posting, Dacky. Lot of very imaginative writers here. We haven't had a Hang Smokers thread in a couple of days, so it's time for a Drinking WILL Result in Death thread.

Most entertaining.

[oreocookiez]

Not to mention varicose veins, bad skin, brittle Hair and bones, eyesight problems, bladder and liver, erectile dysfunction and my personal favourite "Korsakoffs syndrome". A lot of posters have all these great things to look forward to.and sadly it will my colleagues and I
clearing up your shit and vomit...

[YouTheCat]

But Oreo that is your choice. Someone pushing their choices onto someone else is arsey behaviour.

[expatinscotland]

' A lot of posters have all these great things to look forward to.and sadly it will my colleagues and I
clearing up your shit and vomit...'

Because ANYONE and EVERYONE Who Drinks WILL have this happen to them.

No one who lives a healthy, fit lifestyle will ever get any sort of disease, like dementia. They will live FOREVER, to harangue us all about how to live.

[LadyBeagleEyes]

Well, Oreo, sorry but having you at any event, in my imagination, glaring at everybody with disdain, because you don't drink makes me think 'avoid, avoid' at all costs. And I have loads mates that don't drink but they just enjoy without judging anybody else.

[YouTheCat]

Oh and I am in my 40s, drink and smoke. My calcium levels are absolutely spot on and I have better eyesight than many people half my age.

Skin and hair are good too.

[LookingForwardToMarch]

Why drink if there are children there?

Never seen pissed people incharge of kids but hey ho each to his own.

Yanbu for not wanting to drink op. You can't howevet stop yout friend from doing it.

(P.s I've been a drinker and non-drinker since dd but by all accounts am not pious nor pofaced )

[DoubleLifeIsALifeHalved]

Ouch OP, poor you, some of this thread has been way beyond vigorous debate.

I posted before firmly sitting on fence due to not enough info.

Just wanted to throw in the thought that 'to judge' is not always an insult, or a negative behaviour! Judgement and having a stance on what's right and what wrong is not a failing. Loving someone and caring that she is endangering herself and those around her is yes, judging, but caring and right too...

Just a thought :)

[expatinscotland]

But you are doing to die, TheCat! OMG! You will never live to see anything. You will die in pools of vomit and misery, looking like the corpse you are, tomorrow.

[YouTheCat]

OMG! Really? You mean I won't live until I'm 120 in some miserable state run home? Playing bingo and drinking tea?

[Oblomov]

Op is so judgemental.

[pumpkinsweetie]

You should go, live a little. If you are tee-total that's fine you don't have to drink but being with a couple that are having a glass of wine isn't going to kill you or them.

[oreocookiez]

Hahahaha love winding those 'biters' up....

[thebody]

Agree totally expat and YouTheCat.

Op you sound like a blast!!

A few wines on a summer day, now that is paradise here on earth. Cheers//😀

[YouTheCat]

I have ice cold pear cider in the fridge. Very tempting.

[BlameClaimProfit]

Cut your friend some slack OP, some people are unable to have a good time without drinking due to having to block out some underlying misery in their lives, these people deserve empathy.

[expatinscotland]

'Hahahaha love winding those 'biters' up....'

I love engaging with wind-up merchants myself. Lately, loads of opportunity on here. So many imaginative OPs. Was an amusing aside whilst the match was on. But now it's finished. Lisicki lost (good). Off to go and gobble a pack of crisps to clog the arteries in my heart.