To wonder why weddings turn perfectly normal women into selfish, thoughtless bitches

[Antibridezilla]

A mixture of another thread on here and a situation i am currently in, but why do perfectly nice, sensible women turn completely insane in the run up to their wedding?

I'm going to a wedding in August and there is absolutely fuck all consideration for the guests, it's all about doing exactly what the bride wants and fuck the rest of us.

All this 'it's their day' is a load of crap IMO, if that's the case they should piss off and get married alone. If they have an ounce of common sense they should realise that they should be grateful people are attending and should not think people should be grateful they are invited.

Rant over!

[SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius]

Antibridezilla - if there is a lot of time between the ceremony and the evening buffet, perhaps you and some other guests could get together and order pizza to be delivered.

[EldritchCleavage]

I don't understand the 'celebrity for a day' wedding culture. It's a bit pathetic that grown adults fall for it, to be honest.

But there's no pleasing some guests either. DH and I had a mid-morning registry office wedding, wedding bus to a restaurant reception where we fed and watered our guests very generously (my nephews, for example, were ravenous teenagers and ate three different dinners each), gave them speeches and cake, then drinks in the restaurant bar from 6pm (these drinks not paid for by us, to be fair). MIL and others still grumbled we were not having an evening do. Was 11am to 6pm not enough wedding for them?

Interestingly, DH and I and a Catholic couple we know (who had to do it for religious reasons) are the only marrieds out of all our friends. Almost every non-married couple at our wedding, mostly together for yonks, told us family feuds/pressure and wedding madness and expectations of outrageous spending were the main reason they weren't getting married.

[expatinscotland]

The two-tier wedding has a lot to answer for, but hey, no,not even for family would I skint out my own immediate family, leave a tiny EBF baby, etc. if they don't get it, then that's their fault.

People only get away with bridezilla behaviour because others enable it.

[expatinscotland]

Nope, I would still just not go.

[tinkertitonk]

Clever people can annoy their guests without giving them (the guests) any option. For an example from actual memory, the bride's mother can fight with the caterers and sack them.

Between the ceremony and the reception.

[DameFanny]

I need to know what happened next please...

[meganorks]

I am getting married next year so will be checking with interest to see if I make it to an AIBU thread. Because it seems like no matter what, people will be offended. Thinking of adding a note to the bottom 'if you think IABU feel free to get in contact or not come'
Venue is pretty close to where I live and a lot of people, but impossible to be close to everyone as people live in different places!
Ceremony at 2 with canapes after and food about 4.30 so was planning to tell people to have a good breakfast or at least tell them times of food so they can plan accordingly. Seems that is offensive too.
Not going to be child free as I have kids. But not planning to specifically invite any kids as if I invite all that nearly doubles the guestlist. So going to ask people to make alternative arrangements if they can and speak to me if this isn't possible. I expect there to be some kids. Especially if people have to travel a long way. No doubt this is offensive too. Or will backfire and everyone will bring kids!
Basically whatever I do I can't win! I want people to come and enjoy themselves not come along and moan about the inconvenience of it all!

[tinkertitonk]

Dame, if your message was for me, what happened next was that after about 3 hours the bride's father, who by that point had divorced the mother, managed to unsack the caterers, so that at 11 pm we got something to eat. By which point the children were tearful and the grownups either displeased (eg DH) or drunk (eg me). So my memory is slightly clouded tbh.

[Cravey]

There is a simple answer to all this. Don't go. Don't go. Don't go. There you go. That was nice and simple for you want it ? I think some brides go a bit odd but I say leave them to it. Turn down the invite and all is well.

[saulaboutme]

I think you'd do well not to go.

If issues will arise because of it feign illness...feeble I know.
I think I would and spend the day with a boxset. Just not worth the hassle and expense.
Good luck...

[saulaboutme]

Btw, it sounds crap and yanbu.

A wedding is a celebration and if you're inviting guests you have to be realistic with distances and timescales and provide decent refreshments. Even with the humblest weddings!

at my wedding we sent the invites and people could either come or not! and we had kids there, when they were tired out the parents just took them home.
If some one couldn't come they politely declined. I didn't hold it against them....sorry waffling now.

Don't go!

[ifyourehoppyandyouknowit]

As far as choosing what time of day to get married; it's not always that simple. The earliest we could book our registrar was exactly one year in advance. We called up that morning and we managed to get through on the phone (after trying many many times) at 9.45am. By that point there were 2 slots still available for our wedding day - noon or 5pm. We had had to book the venue 2 years in advance.

I would probably have made an AIBU thread because I didn't even put on a buffet for evening guests (mostly just local friends of my parents and a couple of distant relatives), just bacon sandwiches for everyone.

[Snoopingforsoup]

I have no tolerance for this kind of shite. I just wouldn't go.

In fact, brides should start realising they're not Victoria Beckham across the land. Weddings cost the guests a fortune, they're all a bit identikit and largely unenjoyable.

I'm a serial decliner. I still get invited because I may not seem it, but I'm a nice decent person.

I just can't bear anything so bloody over-dramatic and unnecessary! I hate what weddings do to normally sane people.

No, I don't want to share your big day. I'll let you show me the photo's over a nice glass of wine when you're back to being the person I like thanks very much.

God I'm a grumpy cow today!