To wonder why weddings turn perfectly normal women into selfish, thoughtless bitches

[Antibridezilla]

A mixture of another thread on here and a situation i am currently in, but why do perfectly nice, sensible women turn completely insane in the run up to their wedding?

I'm going to a wedding in August and there is absolutely fuck all consideration for the guests, it's all about doing exactly what the bride wants and fuck the rest of us.

All this 'it's their day' is a load of crap IMO, if that's the case they should piss off and get married alone. If they have an ounce of common sense they should realise that they should be grateful people are attending and should not think people should be grateful they are invited.

Rant over!

[Annunziata]

Because not going makes the issues bigger.

[Antibridezilla]

thingie, in order to get to the ceremony on time people will have to eat at about 11.30am and the evening buffet will be about 9pm. If they can't afford 2 meals they should have had a later ceremony. (wedding's been booked for over a year so ceremony slots was not an issue)

bowlers I'm sure their plans are not in place to piss me off but they sure as hell are only in place to ensure they get exactly what they want with the minimum expense.

[LiveItUp]

Ooh gettingeasiernow I heard the other side of possibly the same story. Said sister who got pregnant did so after several mis-carriages and lots of IVF. And the sister getting married couldn't be happy for her because it was "her year".

[whiteandyellowiris]

I blame posh n becks, they started all this massive wedding extravaganza

[MyThumbsHaveGoneWeird]

We hope you don't mind travelling far away
To join us on our special day.
Posh photos are our priority,
And there's nowhere grand near you or me,
We're really pleased we managed to get
A stately home in Somerset.

With venue taking our last penny
As for food-there won't be any.
The 4 hour gap between ceremony and disco
Is needed for our private meal and pictures.
We are sure you'll understand and pardon.
Please enjoy the the lovely garden.

We have house and lots of stuff
Toasters and towels- we have enough!
To bring a smile to our face
Please give money so we can get a bigger place
Cash gets stolen, cheques: to pay in we fail.
Please see below for bank details.

[Bowlersarm]

Are they generally mean people?

[LiveItUp]

Thumbs

[Ragwort]

Totally agree with thebody, now that I am older I have no hesitation at all at politely turning down invitations to weddings, surely most people invite more than they can realistically host so it is good news to receive a 'no thanks' isn't it?

Am so glad my days of wedding guest angst are over, until or if, my DS gets married I suppose !

[ICantRememberWhatSheSaid]

It's an invite not a summons . Seriously! Just don't go.

I copied that from another Mn'er

[Antibridezilla]

No bowlers that's why it's so shocking!

[TheFantasticFixit]

@antibridezilla - we live in London. The wedding was in Hammersmith

[OwlinaTree]

What will people do between end of wedding (round about 2pm if civil) and buffet at 9pm? That's 7 hours to 'mingle' for!! Surely evening guests will arrive earlier than 9pm?

We told people to eat before our wedding, i can't preicsely remember what time the service was, but round 2-2:30 we think , then we had hot buffet/carvery style think at around 6pm cos we only wanted one lot of food. we had everyone all day tho, not evening extras.

if i were you i would go to the service at 1:30 then go off with any mutual friends who are there and find the nearest harvester for the afternoon! Come back later on for the evening party.

[Bowlersarm]

Well, if they're normally generous lovely etc, you'll just have to forgive them for their shoddy wedding plans. They must think they're doing the right things. No one would purposely have such appalling plans, to be witnessed by all their nearest and dearest, would they?

Suck it up anti unless you are feeling so ungracious about it, it would be better to give your excuses now?

[Antibridezilla]

That makes perfect sense then fantastic, outside of London it just doesn't work.

[LineRunner]

What will people do between end of wedding (round about 2pm if civil) and buffet at 9pm?

Get pissed and fight over imagined slights from previous family weddings, usually.

[Antibridezilla]

bowlers there's a difference between not being mean and being lovely & generous. They are not either.

[Bowlersarm]

Oh!

[Jan49]

I must admit, when I look back on my wedding over 20 years ago, there were a few things I did that seem a bit selfish now. Firstly getting married somewhere scenic, in a registry office an hour further North than where we lived, even though the guests all lived far South of us, because we wanted it to be somewhere pretty.

Secondly I told a friend she couldn't bring her partner. He was a horrible man who wouldn't "allow" her to come unless he did. We only had about 10 guests and I felt if he was there my grandmother would never stop talking about that awful man with a ponytail and I think he might have caused offence to guests with his comments and swearing. She's now my closest friend and I don't think she ever held it against me. Her relationship with him ended soon after.

[ApocalypseThen]

I think the problem is that the bride is under huge pressure to plan the perfect day taking into consideration the needs of a large number if people of different ages, some of whom aren't known to her while trying to enjoy herself, look her best, appear unflustered and in the very certain awareness that no matter what she does someone will be very unkindly dissatisfied and will blame her entirely and exclusively.

[notanyanymore]

I'm not married, but if dp ever bloomin asked I did, I always imagined I wouldn't invite someone I wouldn't be happy to buy a meal for anyway. Don't think I'd want to share my 'special' day with people that weren't that special (admittedly it wouldn't be a big wedding party, maybe I'm just a bit friendless...)

[themightyfandango]

Have bridezillas always existed? Is it a recent Facebook generation thing? I got married 13 years ago and haven't been to a wedding in about 5 years. I have never been to a wedding that wasn't reasonable or ridiculously expensive.

I wonder if there is a link with woman who are young enough to have had the whole school prom experience. Maybe it starts there? The earlier thread about the country wedding really shocked me. Thirty grand on a wedding! Mine cost about three (and was lovely as were the children and babies that attended).

[piprabbit]

Some brides and grooms seem to confuse "guests" with "minions".

IMO once the legalities are out of the way, a wedding should be all about being the best possible hosts for your guests.

[raisah]

If they weren't intending on feeding their guests until the evening, then why didnt they have a late afternoon ceremony? A 3/4 pm ceremony would have been better, by the time the service finished & all the photos done it would have been time for the evening guests. Canapes would have been ideal for this scenario but not where there is a 6 hr gap between the service & meal. What about elderly and diabetic guests?

Couples want it all, the big hello magasine wedding and are prepared to pay for it to look good but thats all. I had a budget of £12,000 & 250 guests and they all had a sit down meal. I got married in a beautiful old historic building and made savings on things like favours & 3k limo hire to make sure that my guests were comfortable. 12 years later people still compliment me on what a nice time they had and how nice the meal was. That to me is a good result, If they wanted to be considerate towards their guests by feeding them then they could have done but getting the 3k dress & white doves was more important.

[raisah]

Oh and this type of wedding in the asian community is unheard of. Hospitality is a big thing, you'd be practically ostracised if you chose to srcretly feed a select few & left everybody hungry. It is considered extremely bad manners, so bad that nobody does it because the fall out would be huge!!