Is it right to make a woman feel unclean?

[camel1]

I was saying 'thank you' to a male colleague and touched his upper arm as a reinforcement of that thanks. He recoiled in disgust, his body language, his facial expression and his yelp surprised me so much that I apologised profusely. The incident happened in front of many children, as I am a teacher at a school. And within a minute he had shook hands with a male colleague. Whether it was his intention or not, I felt that he felt I was unclean. I was/am greatly upset by this. I understand that his cultural or religious beliefs does not permit him to touch women, or vice versa. However, I have lived in many different countries and cultures, and I adhered to their cultural rules and would never have reacted in such an offensive way. What do you think?

No body should have to/needs to explain to another person why they don't want to be touched!!

It's that persons body ffs

How do you know he was thinking you were unclean

I would presume his religion may not allow him to touch strange women, but that doesn't mean he thinks you're unclean.

Also, as you know he wouldn't want to touch you, you shouldn't be surprised when he reacted like he did.

Don't know what religion this person is.

However, in some religions, the point of following a rule is not so much the logic of the rule but just following the rule itself, however nutty that might seem to outsiders.

He may not have been thinking about your relative cleanliness.

Another one with claraschu

I would not touch someone who I dont know very well, really you were aware tat there might be Some religious beliefs so you should have no done that.

However, he was downright rude ad offensive and should have explained that his religious beliefs permit him not to touch women other than his wife, or that it mad him feel a bit uncomfortable. H is living in a Western country and should be aware tat not everyone will be familiar with his religious beliefs

I'm confused why many posters seem to think the OP already knew this man didn't want to be touched. From the post I understand she has now put two and two together and realised there is a religious context - not that she did it in full awareness of this fact.

His reaction sounds very over the top and rude. There are things I don't like being on the receiving end of, but I manage to control my physical gestures and words so as no to cause offence disproportionate the the deed.

Thank you Fuzzywuzzy. Its a bit like chinese whispers this. A momentary hand to arm touch has gone to 'touchy feely'. God, some people will think I was stroking the poor bloke. I think protocol is definitely not to touch anyone. If a male colleague touched me the way I touched my colleague, I wouldn't have thought twice about it, and I certainly wouldn't haven't treated them like they were unclean, because they were a man. If I had religious or cultural beliefs that prevented me from shaking the hand of the opposite sex, and I lived in a society that has discrimination laws then I simply wouldn't shake hands with anyone.

look whoever thinks it is normal to go around touching and arm grabbing at work, of anyone, is deluded.
if a man were to do this to a woman, many people on this forum would be crying about sexual harrassment in the workplace.

He sounds like a drama queen.

Well that's all very good camel, but you do realise that not everyone is the same as you don't you?

Thank you VigorMortis for reading properly

What was wrong with just saying "thanks?"

You sound creepy!

I detest colleagues who are all touchy feely.

Get a grip!

You're a teacher? Complain to your line manager.

He was rude, don't feel bad for his odd hang ups or religious beliefs they are his problem not yours.

I agree with claraschu.

Yes, ExcuseTypos I do. Sorry that I offended you by putting forward my views in the personal 'I' way. It was merely a rhetorical device.

Pinkflipflop she tapped his arm like many people do not blooming fondeled his bum . He was very rude and whilst I might not make a complaint I would try to avoid him

Yes it's his problem not yours

Yes, I know! But, I think she's getting her knickers in a twist slightly!

Why is she allowing him to make her feel unclean? Wo said he should have that level of power?

I remember a while back on the Big Questions they had a debate about women and religion, Nicky Campbell asked a Rabbi why he wouldn't shake hands with a woman and he said it was because, 'he wouldn't touch someone else's property.' Then he made a massive song and dance about being misrepresented and that that wasn't sexist, not sure how that's even possible.

Anyway, I do disagree with the idea that men shouldn't touch women they don't know, as taught by some religions, it's rooted in sexism and the stupid belief that it leads to 'temptation', handshakes is a gateway to adultery and so on. However it really is his body, it is his religious beliefs and it is his right to act that way, regardless of whether it hurts your feelings.

There must be more to this or I am really missing something!

What would she say to her line manager if complaining?

handshakes are*

Op is over thinking it and should really try to forget about it and move on from it

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Negiah

endlink.lurie.northwestern.edu/cultural_issues/gender.cfm

www.aish.com/ci/s/48899622.html

Religions are very weird.