daughter given choc cake at scool, she is allergic to cows' milk.

[MyNameIsRio]

That. They all know. Had their new teacher (who they will be having next year) for Fri afternoon and she was given birthday cake. Her own teacher has a stack of her own snacks. Now do I write to new teacher and headteacher?

What I didn't realise until catering for a dairy allergic child was that it's not always listed recognisably on lists of ingredient - lactose and casein are two less obvious ones if you're not clued up on it.

Mumsyblouse, that's the approach I have been taking with DS at school and at parties. He is only to eat stuff from his packed lunch box and I have provided a box of safe treats for him.

The OP has provided safe treats as well. Either the new teacher was not told or had forgotten......

I also wonder if the split on this thread among the allergic parents on this thread is between those who have only seen mild reactions in their children and those of us who have seen previously mild reactions turn into something a lot more serious.

Mynameisrio, teacher here. It shouldn't have happened so tell the school again and ask for your daughters allergy to be made aware to all staff. Ask how they will let supply teachers know. I wouldn't expect all 4 year olds to be responsible for checking food without a prompt.
At most schools I've been involved with children with allergies or special medical needs have their photograph displayed in the staff room and class registers with details of symptoms etc clearly outlined for all staff to be aware of.

Ah, I stand corrected. Think that's a cultural-generational thing. When/where I grew up "dairy" definitely often included egg products (see here).

Trixymalixy, I think you are right. Thank you for your help.

OP - sorry, I can't see in any of your posts if there has been confirmation from the school that your daughter was fed dairy, but if so then I agree that a blanket ban on food from sources other than home should be easier to manage for both teachers and your daughter. If you mark her name on the treats she is allowed, then it will be clear to her whether it has come from the safe stash or not and help her to be sure about everything she puts in her mouth.
However, it is REALLY easy to make a dairy free cake without even having to shop for special ingredients, so definitely worth checking whether this was the case before accusing the teacher of forgetting and then you can take it from there. It would be a shame if a thoughtful teacher ended up feeling put upon, but it might still be worth instigating a new rule just so that you can all be doubly sure nothing slips through the net.

DD is severely intolerant to dairy and soya and was given the wrong school dinner a few months ago and was quite poorly.

I told the HT who was very apologetic.

Missed whether you have has confirmation that it had dairy in, not all shop bought cakes do (I have discovered tescos own basics birthday cake is ok as is their angel layer cake).

Tescos basics and I think sainsburys too, does not have dairy in their marg by the way.

It had chocolate buttons on it. The TA told me when I collected her.

MynameIsRio

It had chocolate buttons on it but...

What has been her worst allergic reaction?

Has she got an epipen?

Had you discussed it with the new teacher?

Or had you discussed it with the HT if the new teachef had just started?

It doesn't matter who you had discussed it with previously, her new teacher should have know. Therefore I think you should write to the head and have a gentle word with her new teacher.

I think you should also teach your DD not to eat anything unless she knows she can eat it, and sometimes that means she needs to ask. If she doesn't feel able to ask, then she mustn't eat it.

I would complain to the head teacher, luckily it didn't seem a huge reaction this time what what about next time.

It's a simple mistake that could have serious out come.

In ds school they have photo in the classroom and underneath it say x has an allergy to nuts.

really disappointed with all the attacks the op has had. it shows there is a long way to go to educate people about allergies. just because the reaction wasn't awful this time doesn't make it ok actually. I was discussing this very thing with my son's allergy specialists (at one of the top departments in the uk) and they made it very clear that it was important to avoid all exposure and that I was certainly not being neurotic for doing so.

plus, even skin contact can give him a massive eczema flare over the next few days and yes ok that is 'just' eczema not anaphylaxis but it makes him desperately sore and uncomfortable and means we have to use strong steroids on his skin to get it down again.
I know there are some 'lifestyle' allergies / intolerances out there but it is actually highly inconvenient having to cut out key foods from a child's diet and I suspect most parents who do so do so because it is their only option.

OP YANBU to be upset about this. I would suggest a chat with both the teacher and the head is required. the school need to tighten up their policies and procedures to make sure this doesn't happen again, to your child or another. next time it could be much more serious and even as it was the mistake should never have been made. it is unrealistic to expect small children to consistently remember to check about food allergies, especially with a new adult. I remember being to scared when we had a supply teacher at primary to ask to go to the toilet for instance. I am teaching DS 2.5 already to be aware of his allergies and food safety but I would expect adults responsible for him to understand their responsibility to keep him safe for many years to come.

MynameisRio - join the allergy boards. Some comments on here just make me sigh and make me realise what an uphill battle is ahead for my 4yr old when he starts school in Sept. He's a dairy-free child ( CMP and lactose)

They know allergies/intolerances are a minefield. And the help and knowledge there is super useful. Some utterly super people there. I often just read threads when feeling a bit fed up.

And a fabby thread on surprising foods that children with allergies/intolerances can eat (to cheer ourselves up).

A slightly upset tummy?

Read the thread before bringing out the humphy faces.

Glad your LO did not have a serious reaction. If there were choc buttons in it then she obviously had dairy.

I would not be happy at all.

My DD is in reception and they are very good on the whole. They told me a week before an egg hunt so I could supply one, let me know when she is cooking etc...

We have had one mishap where DD ate the wrong lunch and the HT rang me to apologise and the head of the catering company apologised to DD and emailed me too.

Every term when the menu changes we go through it with a fine tooth comb.

Last week DD refused to eat her lunch as she knows she cannot eat "normal" bread and luckily the lunch staff knew I was on the school premises (I volunteer) so came and got me but said they would have rung me if I had not already been there. The bread (ciabatta) was fine for her to eat, but I was pleased with DD for checking.

My husband is allergic to raw or lightly cooked egg, normally egg in cakes etc is fine but brownies are a no-no as they are cooked at lower temperature and still slightly squidgy(we found this out the hard way).Until two years ago he had not a severe reaction but would get an itchy mouth, sore tongue and swollen lips then some body at work brought some homemade cupcakes, as he had always been fine with them he had one, within 15 minutes he was having an anaphylactic reaction-face swelled, chest closed up couldn't breathe. Thankfully he was fine but we have since found out that some cupcake frostings are made with raw egg white. He now has an epipen and we are very careful when eating out(custard unless made with powder, homemade ice if made from a custard base, confections cream, creamy salad dressings, a lot of sauces). You just don't know with allergies how someone is going to react, they are unpredictable and that unpredictability is very dangerous so you are right to be concerned, it might only have been an upset stomach this time but no-one knows what the reaction might be next time

oops - just read the whole thread properly

Sorry - YANBU!

After a while, I gave up reading..
I had a problem with our school ignoring my daughters nut allergy.
I think you need to politely but firmly and clearly complain. I would put it in writing in the first place so that there is a clear record. Follow it up with a conversation
Also train your daughter to ask every time if food is suitable for her. (Dairy- esp milk is such a prevalent ingredient.) It's good for her to learn to ask for herself. She may not understand exactly what she's saying- but it should at least prompt an adult to think.
I found the courses run by the anaphylaxis campaign to be extremely helpful.

This week it was my sons birthday and I sent cakes in for his year including a batch of egg / dairy / gluten / soya / nut free cupcakes that I made before the 'normal' kind to prevent cross contamination (cleaned like crazy beforehand too). Made too much vegan frosting so all of them got it.

I am trained to use an epipen as part of my job and XH had a fish allergy.
Have the school had training? Getting your surgery to give the staff training in its use might reinforce how severe allergies can be and increase vigilance for potential allergens.

You should provide your DD with an allergy bracelet if she cannot speak up when offered food.
She can at least show them it. I would be hard pushed to remember the allergies of each child. Also, at 4, I guess your DD knows she can't eat cake? So why did she?