daughter given choc cake at scool, she is allergic to cows' milk.

[MyNameIsRio]

That. They all know. Had their new teacher (who they will be having next year) for Fri afternoon and she was given birthday cake. Her own teacher has a stack of her own snacks. Now do I write to new teacher and headteacher?

Well I don't know about the meds TSC..but if not having them.meant a real chance of him being in danger and having to get hospital treatment wouldn't you be pissed off if they forgot, even if no harm done on one occasion?

Thats how I view DD being given allergens.

And am.no way a hysterical loon..just dont want DD having anaphylaxis at school..she has been close.

Well as a parent of a milk-allergic child, what I would do is:

1. Go into the school and make a BIG fuss. Ask how the hell the new teacher wasn't informed of my DD's allergies and why she came to be given chocolate cake. They need to know that her chances of growing out of her allergy depend on not being exposed to dairy, and every time they fuck up like this they are reducing her chance of growing out of it.

1. Contact your allergy clinic and ask for re-testing because a slightly upset tummy after eating a chocolate cake (and it is hugely unlikely to have contained no dairy at all) is massively reassuring and may be a sign that she is starting to grow out of it. Which is FAB!

2½. But don't get your hopes up: we were wildly excited when DS1 got given by me a cheese sandwich by mistake - he spat it out immediately - and nothing happened! We had him tested but he was still allergic, God, the disappointment! Also, reactions can be mild because there has been no contact with the allergen for some time so the body is no longer on "high alert" - imagine a load of bored guards outside a castle no one attacks. Then one day there IS an attack, they don't spring into action very efficiently because they were not prepared - but the day after they'll be a lot more vigilant.

but

1. I'd ask for details of what exact cake it was and have a look at the labels. It might have a VERY low amount of dairy in it, in which case there is less cause for celebration than you think.

But DEFINITELY make a fuss at the school. They could have been calling an ambulance for your DD and they need to know that.

no it really didn't miss that, but its a fair bit more complicated than that. And it doesn't change the point that the shreiking about FATALITIES is rather pointless. If this, if that, well if my aunt had balls she'd be my uncle. What do you want from the school?

But TSC all the OP has said is she is pissed off and wants them to be more aware of the importance - which is exactly what you have said you would want isn't it?

The bigger problem is that schools don't seem to have enough awareness and understanding of allergies/asthma etc and the risks it can pose

Had to get seriously firm after her salmon reaction or they would have let her be exposed to it as they hve with eggs. And hate giving any grief to school and appreciate them lots.

OP - I would go and have a chat with the teacher, and explain to her what your DD can't eat. Maybe even offer to make her a list of unsafe foods that she can keep in her desk to avoid it happening again.
My DS has an egg allergy and a peanut allergy. (Nut allergy is Severe, Egg is moderate, but both are definitely true allergies - he is tested every 6 months for egg, and every few years for Nuts as unlikely he will ever stop being allergic to nuts).

I know from experience with DS that his reaction to egg varies dependant on quantity ingested, and how it was processed.
Some reactions have been pretty bad, others milder. I agree OP that it is no indicator of the severity of the allergy, as it could be had she had a second slice (and therefore more of the dairy content) she could have reacted much worse.

Yes people can grow out of some allergies, but that is what testing at clinic is for.

At DS school they have posters up with his picture on saying what his allergies are and what to do if he eats them by accident. Maybe something similar at your DDs school would be helpful?
( It definitely helps raise awareness, a boy from a few years above DS saw us at the park and told his mum not to eat any nuts in the playground as the boy over the there is allergic. It was lovely to see that child be so caring.)

Tisn't shrieking.

If her DD has a serious allergy it's a possibility later on so care should be taken.

I am really not a shrieky hysterical type.

Is it a full moon?! OP, of course YANBU to have a word with the teacher. I'd ask what their policy is for allergic children to ensure a mistakes does not happen. I wouldn't write or talk to the head as it sounds like a genuine mistake.

Your DD is little and as you said, shy but I do think it's good to get her to start practicing saying "I'm allergic to milk" for when she gets older.

I was actually much more laid back sbout allergies before seeing DD's serious one to salmon. A month ago I would have probably hd different attitude but it made me realise you cant mess.around with allergies.

Ok, ok perhaps the capital letters were not necessary but aside from that no one is shrieking about fatalities. We are just trying to be clear that they are serious.

I am all not the hysterical type fanjo - but I suppose it's easier for ignorant people to label us that than take the time to listen.

Yes..I am probably more scared because DD can't be responsible and just grabs and eats anything so it's down to other people to protect her.

Educating the child about their condition is definitely the way to go if possible.

Totally agree that it's good to encourage our children to be responsible in an age appropriate way.

Harverina..yes..me too..in fact I used to be too laid back about DD's allergies because her other issues took up my time

I would definitely go into the school and remind not only the class teacher but the head/school office again so that they have this written clearly and everyone in contact with your child knows. But, they will feel bad about it.

I think it's much harder for a teacher to be thinking 'does this have milk in it?' than just have a blanket ban on all foods which are not your own. I'm sure milk or dairy is in some unlikely products and it's not always obvious, so perhaps an easy 'nothing we haven't brought in ourselves' may work with your dd. My dd is allergic to face paints (well, lots of products) and it was surprisingly often that she went to another child's house and they played dress-up, or they did face painting at school for a fun activity or to mark one team out from another, and it would all start off again (once the football face had died down). In the end, we had to say nothing on your face EVER, no face paints, no playing make-up, no washing with soap at other's houses. It's hard for them, but easier than trying to negotiate between different things.

Thank you, I will,

DS1 (2.6) appears to be growing out of his milk allergy. I haven't told nursery yet as it's all being carefully controlled, not a general free for all of any dairy foods.

We have to review the paper work every 3 months and list his banned foods and alternatives. His name appears on lists of food issues. Preferences like vegetarians are in black, allergies in red. Nursery have been excellent at dealing with it and I trust them not to contaminate him more than I do myself!

The reaction being mild doesn't mean that she's growing out of it. The proportion of the allergen in the food is low, so she could still have a more serious reaction to loose milk. When doing a milk challenge, you start with something like a biscuit that contains a small amount of milk cooked at high temperature and gently increase the exposure and milk content of foods.

We went to a wedding a year ago and the caterers were well briefed about a number of dietry requirements. We got to the table, a pile of breadsticks was ready (soya intolerance means most bread is out of bounds), he had dry new potatoes served and a jelly for dessert. Great! He tucks in to his dinner, scoffs down his veg. I give him seconds, to find that the remaining veg is sat in a puddle of melted butter.

That was fun at 5 am. For me and all the other wedding guests as he got caried off to the toilets screaming for an emergency nappy change. It was a fun holiday the following week. Thank goodness we had a washing machine at the appartment we stayed in as his bit of diahorrea meant he got through 2-3 times the amount of clothes to normal. Ahh the family memories of our trip to the Giant's Causeway. That poonami and alfresco nappy and clothes change was definately enough to scare the giants away!

Talk to the headteacher. Sounds like they need to remind staff about their procedures or even tighten them up.

my daughter is in reception as is lactose intolerant and asks everytime she is given something at school if it contains cows milk...

All four year olds have dfferent capabilities.

Indeed, FanjoForThe Mammaries.

"A month ago I had a different attitude."

This is why it can be so hard, sometimes, to get across the seriousness of milk allergies to people who only really understand nuts as a true potentially fatal allergy.

Although that is something Ive only ever experienced right here on MN.

No ones ever not taken my sons milk allergy seriously in RL. Quite the opposite, we have been incredibly lucky.

Same here ohforduck - in rl once I tell people how she reacted to the foods they have been so careful. I think most schools and nurseries now have at least one child with allergies and some with intolerances.

Hope you get on ok, op. The allergy board is good if you ever need any advice, it has been invaluable to me

I must say I always took other peoples kids allergies to anything seriously..was just a bit too.laid back about DDs allergies (to nuts eggs and fish amongst others)

Before my son went into anaphylactic shock after a yoghurt, I didnt even know you could be allergic to milk.