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AIBU?

daughter given choc cake at scool, she is allergic to cows' milk.

200 replies

MyNameIsRio · 22/06/2013 08:03

That. They all know. Had their new teacher (who they will be having next year) for Fri afternoon and she was given birthday cake. Her own teacher has a stack of her own snacks. Now do I write to new teacher and headteacher?

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MyNameIsRio · 22/06/2013 08:38

MrsLouis, she has been tested at 6 months, 2, 3 & 4. Not meant to be tested until seven now.

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Altinkum · 22/06/2013 08:38

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Lovelygoldboots · 22/06/2013 08:41

It is up to you to make sure the teacher knows if she is only four.

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MyNameIsRio · 22/06/2013 08:43

It was a shop bought b day cake. citrus Altinkum - that must be hard too in addition to lactose etc.

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MagicHouse · 22/06/2013 08:43

This shouldn't have happened. I would probably ask to speak to the head. It was lucky her reaction was mild, what if another child with an allergy had a much more serious reaction in similar circumstances. It sounds as though there have been communication problems - was the new teacher even aware of her allergy? I'm not saying you necessarily need to go in all guns blazing, but the school need to know that a potentially serious mistake has happened here.

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MyNameIsRio · 22/06/2013 08:44

Lovely I of course her teachers know. I didn't know she was having her new one for the afternoon.

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Altinkum · 22/06/2013 08:49

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SoupDragon · 22/06/2013 08:50

I once made a dairy free birthday cake as one guest was allergic. Then I discovered that the white icing I'd used for waves had lactose in it! Allergic child had bit with no white on it :)

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Snowyelephantshavewrinkles · 22/06/2013 08:52

No need to write just go in and say... They would not have done I on purpose.

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Snowyelephantshavewrinkles · 22/06/2013 08:55

Just read a later post by you OP ... Go and see the head to explain. In our school there is a list in staff room of children and their allergies. It really does help as all staff are aware.

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Madamecastafiore · 22/06/2013 08:59

I think you need to make sure your child needs to be told to ask before she eats something to always ask (we have had this for DS with eggs and was always told to ask).

You should also just pop into the school and mention the incident to your child's present teacher asking that the information is passed on.

I do think that because it sounds like it is more an intolerance than an allergy that your title is slightly inflammatory. Sorry if that is not the case bit I have an intolerance to eggs and lactose which give me a funny tummy. As far as I was aware an allergy is something entirely different and will cause an allergic response such as swelling if airway, rash etc.

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trixymalixy · 22/06/2013 09:00

The teacher will be mortified. I would write a letter/email reminding them about the allergies and possibly asking for a meeting with the new teacher to go through it and the medication with her.

DS has multiple allergies and I'm going to ask to meet with his new teacher to go through them with her.

You also need to teach your DD to say "I have allergies, is this ok for me to eat?"

I would like to say I'm amazed that people don't associate butter as being made from milk, but unfortunately I've come across this many times including a chef who didn't know cream was made from milk. Cue vomiting child. Now I list, butter, cheese milk, yoghurt just to avoid any doubt.

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trixymalixy · 22/06/2013 09:05

Madame, stomach pain and diahorrea are also allergic symptoms, particularly if the allergen has been baked the reaction can be milder and DS will just be a bit flushed and have a sore tummy. Uncooked milk and you'll get vomiting and hives.

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TSSDNCOP · 22/06/2013 09:06

reallife's thread is probably the most telling on the thread.

On a thread about milk allergy, a person says that butter would surely be ok, not putting the two together.

Maybe that's where the new teacher slipped up too. Clearly it's easier done than you think.

As DD came to no significant harm, a quiet word with new teacher seems appropriate especially as you'll have a relationship with her throughout Y1.

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MyNameIsRio · 22/06/2013 09:07

Madam, she is allergic not intolerant. Tested at hospital. I do know the difference.

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kelda · 22/06/2013 09:07

Her current teacher should have given all the relevant information over to the new teacher.

Write a letter explaining her allergy, saying that it is not just to milk and mention it as well so that the information doesn't get overlooked again. Is there any sign on the wall with your daughter's name and photo and allergy?

By the way, to all of those assuming that the four year old should be responsible for herself, this is unrealistic for many four year olds.

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trixymalixy · 22/06/2013 09:09

The teacher is absolutely responsible, but it's a good idea to teach her DD to start asking if food is suitable as soon as possible.

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Madamecastafiore · 22/06/2013 09:15

That's why I apologised before I said it.
My point was more that there was not an awful anaphylactic reaction which would have needed an entirely different course of action than what your dd exhibited.

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AuntieStella · 22/06/2013 09:22

You need to speak to the teacher.

And I'd have a (friendly) word with the HT and ask for a check on how new/supply teachers are briefed about allergies and what foods may be given out.

For the next child who is given an unsuitable food might not come off as lightly as your DD. Yes, DC have to learn to deal with a world with allergens and refuse things themselves. But reception children are still fairly early on in that and teachers do need to play a role, especially when handing out chocolate.

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TheSecondComing · 22/06/2013 09:25

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MyNameIsRio · 22/06/2013 09:29

TheSecondComing, yes. Vomiting, swollen face at six months when had cows milk for first time. Tested at hospital and is ALlERGIC to cows milk not bloody intolerant. Re tested three subsequent times. ALLERGIC STIlL no milk.

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MorphandChas · 22/06/2013 09:30

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kelda · 22/06/2013 09:31

'it's not the end of the world'

Even if you don't think the reaction was serious enough, the teacher still needs to be told.

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SoupDragon · 22/06/2013 09:31

By the way, to all of those assuming that the four year old should be responsible for herself, this is unrealistic for many four year olds.

Maybe so but it is never to early to start teaching a child to take "responsibility" for their allergies. Obviously the adults in charge should be checking but the child needs to learn how to keep themselves safe.

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trixymalixy · 22/06/2013 09:31

It's not the end of the world as no harm done, this time. But reactions can get more severe with every exposure. She needs to tell them that they gave her allergic daughter milk and ask them to take more care.

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