Jeremy Forrest verdict - aibu to be confused?

[noddyboulder]

Yep, I don't think even his own parents could deny he's a massive, hideous scumbag with no impulse control - but how can he have been found guilty of abduction when the girl he had an affair with said it was her idea to go to France and she went willingly?

Can somebody legal shed some light?

SomeDizzy what an excellent, thought provoking post.

I think you are spot on with your comment about what "I love you" ready means in this context.

Ready should be really.

What SomeDizzy said.

Love that lets a vulnerable child stand up in court and take the blame on herself while you are skulking - aw, it's just soooo romantic

(and if we had a sneerier emoticon I would use it)

Amanda Lamb and some man on the Wright Stuff right now are defending Forrest.and calling him "misguided" and calling the girl "not innocent".

Shocking.

He was in a position of responsibility.

I'll tell you what I don't like about all of this - calling him a paedophile. He is NOT a paedophile. And to call him such TOTALLY undermines the horrific abuse suffered by PRE-PUBESCENT children at the hands of such monsters. I hate the media for this. She was underage - Yes - that does NOT make him a paedophile.

AVR2 Fri 21-Jun-13 09:45:43
"So the majority opinion here, given that the word "groomed" has been bandied around, is that actually the girl didn't ever want to have sex with him and the fact that she did was entirely down to his coercion? There's no possible way that she knowingly encouraged it? Because, of course, 12, 13 and 14 year old girls never choose to have sex with older males voluntarily. Never. Ever. Doesn't happen. Ahem."

I don't think you understand the word grooming. It doesn't mean coercion, it means gradually inducing a state of mind where the victim wants to do your will. We need a separate word for it precisely because it is different from rape or coercion. That doesn't make it right though.

AVR2, he has deliberately taken up a profession that requires a far higher level of self control than most jobs, he has committed to that. Nobody forced him to be a teacher.

Yes, some human beings may be stupid and irresponsible, but then we hope they will not work in responsible positions. Or if they do, that they will recognise that the rules they have accepted when they took on the job do actually bind them.

It's not as if he didn't know about it: not only will he have been taught this in teacher training: he was warned repeatedly by the school about his behaviour and chose to lie to them about what was actually going on- clearly because he knew it was wrong. He also rang the parents on his own initiative in order to lie to them.

He started a relationship with a 14 year old who had a history of self harming. How much more vulnerable does she have to be?

We have laws to protect the vulnerable, be it because of their age or mental state.

To try to apportion blame to the girl makes you nothing short of an abuse apologist.

Utterly revolting.

Yes..creepy teachers who abuse their position are far from perfect.

ARV2 interesting thread to post your first post.

AVR2 Fri 21-Jun-13 10:00:16
"So that's definitely what Forrest did, in a cold, calculated way? He couldn't possibly be just an imperfect human being who got caught up in something that led him to make very stupid decisions?"

There are records of his repeated warnings from the school, of the telephone conversation with his parents, on the messages sent to her phone (some allegedly with inappropriate images of him, but I am not sure this has been confirmed).

If he had just made a stupid decision, why didn't he stop the first time the school told him to? Sheer silliness?

The parents need to be looked at too. So many people failed this child.

AVR2 I am disgusted that you are blaming the girl, here. Exactly what cory said- she may have consented but she was in no position to consent. He had used his experience and knowledge about the world and about sexual relationships to get into her brain and make her consent.

The bit of your post that shocks me the most is: does not mean that she's an innocent victim who should be considered entirely blameless WHAT?! What is she to blame for? Being 15? Being innocent? Not being able to see that he is a Svengali? It is nothing short of disgusting that you are putting any of the blame for this on her. He is an abuser and your short sighted view point and others like it are precisely what gave him permission to do this.

I have been appalled by some of what I have read regarding this case in the last 24 hours but without a doubt your post takes the biscuit. A vulnerable young person is groomed, sexually and mentally abused and taken away from her home by one of the very people who is meant to protect her and you more or less boil it down to "well, she knew what she was doing, the little prick tease".

I would lay my life down and say she absolutely didn't know what she was doing. She may have wanted it, she may have encouraged his advances, but one thing is for sure, she didn't know what she was letting herself in for when she was put under the spell of this vile, scheming man. Shame on you for trying to defend his actions in any way.

Its easy to justify abuse too apparently.

'Forbidden love story' oh my fucking god. This man is a predator. A filthy, abusive, predatory, dangerous, vile cunt who preyed on a vulnerable child to meet his own egotistical emotional needs and sexual impulses. Foul, pathetic creature"

This is completely overblown and cheapens the issues around real paedophilia and predation of actual children

Also this view that on here that she is a totally immature infant up to 15 years and 364 days (and yet can be a completely fully functioning adult 24 hours later) is also crap, in the rest of Europe consent is 15 or below anyway so it's clear it's an arbitrary number.

There is no "bigger picture".

AVR
Grooming means giving attention, flattery, making a child feel special, making them feel like they are indebted, creating a bond of secrecy and intimacy that allows abuse to happen. It's a long process and even if it isn't done 'deliberately' it is still abusive.

A 14 year old child (because she was, no argument) who is unhappy at home, lost her father figure, self harming, confused, hormonal, lonely etc is absolutely not capable of making the decision to start a relationship with a 30 year old teacher. He had a responsibility to her and he abused it in order to make her feel totally dependent on him and in order for him to have unprotected sex with her. It's so sad how so many people view young teenagers, especially girls. They are not adults. They just are not.